


What I Can't Say

by pyrexprodigy



Series: Excalibur [1]
Category: Vocaloid
Genre: (is bullshit), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Crossdressing, Disabled Character, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Idols, Jealousy, Kaito was supposed to be gay, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Miku is always angry, Non-Graphic Violence, OCs in minor roles - Freeform, Rin is a fangirl, UTAUloids, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, Use of Japanese honorifics, Weird Plot Shit, a lot of lying, cursing, does len even go to school? probably not, i don't know what happened, love quadrangle, mentioned/referenced femslash, mentioned/referenced slash, sibling relationships, very gay moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 21:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 64,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4320933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrexprodigy/pseuds/pyrexprodigy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatsune Miku is a lonely, hurt girl who struggles with events in her past. Kagamine Len is her complete opposite; a popular male idol with a habit of crossdressing to avoid recognition. But somehow the two must learn to work together to get what they need. For Miku, it's the return of her cell phone, which Len has stolen. But what could Len's intentions be? And are they changing as the two grow closer? </p><p>-</p><p>Originally posted to fanfiction.net on January 2, 2013 to September 1, 2013.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooooookay so.  
> I finished moving all of my one-shots over from my fanfiction account so I decided to tackle my multi-chapter fics. This one is VERY OLD and was written when I was a hell of a lot more of a weeb. I was also very afraid to write gay characters (because bisexuals/asexuals/pansexuals/etc don't exist apparently) so while some characters are coded to be gay, they aren't for some reason (cough*kaito*cough*). If the author's notes from the original posted chapter have something to do with the chapter itself and don't just say something like "review pls!" I will also be adding those.
> 
> THIS IS NOT A REWRITTEN/EDITED VERSION OF THE STORY OF THE SAME TITLE FROM FFN. THIS IS A REPOST TO THIS SITE. NOTHING OF THE ORIGINAL VERSION HAS BEEN CHANGED, NOT EVEN TYPOS. MANY OF THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS FIC ARE OUTDATED; THEY ARE THINGS I THOUGHT WERE TRUE TWO YEARS AGO. IT'S LIKELY I NO LONGER AGREE WITH SOME OF THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS FIC.
> 
> You may now continue.

_"Love has a funny way of working ya into its grand scheme. Whether ya like it or not, it knows where to put ya. Don't go trying to change what isn't in your control"_

These words of wisdom were delivered to a young Hatsune Miku by a drunken stranger well before she could ever understand what they meant. At the time, the woman who told her this seemed rather angelic, almost to the point seven-year-old Miku actually believed her to be one. An angel, that is. What with her long, silky hair the color of rich silver and her delicate frame, she was insanely pretty. However, the poor woman was actually drunk off her ass, something Miku came to realize as she gradually matured. Even after nine years, Miku was able to remember these words given to her by a woman with sake earrings (Miku should have realized the woman's love for alcohol earlier). They were an important part of her, much like the twin tails on her head and her love for leeks. When her first boyfriend broke up with her, she had to admit she was devastated. However, she remembered these words, and decided maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. After all, he was kind of an idiot. An idiot with an obsession weirder than leeks. Who cared if he was stunningly handsome  _and_  one of the most famous idols ever? She certainly didn't. In the end, the two of them became friends and were happy enough. Of course, a happily ever after don't happen on the first page of a story. What could possibly happen to make Hatsune Miku's weird life take a turn for the absolute, insane worst? It would have to be something monumental. And it was. Its name was Kagamine Len.

When Miku thought about it, she could straight up blame everything on a certain angry little pain-in-the-butt named Akita Neru. If the blonde hadn't dragged her shopping, maybe such an odd encountered would have never happened. Neru was about as irritating as it got, so Miku had no problem blaming her.

Akita Neru was one of the school's most famous girls. "Popular" was not the right word, since she was too much of a tomboy to be stereotyped as one of those popular girls. However, nearly everyone knew who she was, mainly because of her temper. Few people could deal with the temper that girl had. Whether she was born with such a hot head or it developed over time, no one knew. One thing was sure though; if Miku was faced with an angry bull or an angry Neru, she'd pick the bull. She'd hate to admit this to anyone, since the girl was at least three or so inches shorter than Miku's glorious height of five foot three, and even someone like Miku could take her down in a fair fight, but Neru didn't "fight" like normal people. Not only was she a troll (a good one), she could probably hack whatever she wanted. Despite the girl's bad (make that horrible) attitude, her daily death threats to numerous people and her antisocial tendencies, Neru was a girl everyone could find something to like about her. Maybe it was just Miku being narrow minded, but she honestly didn't understand the girl's appeal, or how her two best friends had managed to stick with her so long.

In general, Miku didn't like any of the three girls. She already explained why Neru was so annoying, but the other two were annoying in totally different ways. Kasane Teto, aka the Insane Glomping Stalker Maniac, had a tendency to cling to Miku like some sort of bothersome parasite, often declaring her eternal love to the easily annoyed (straight) Miku. When this happened, Miku either blushed insanely or shoved Teto away and hid behind a book, playing the "If I can't see you, you can't see me" game. The other girl, Megpoid Megumi, wasn't too bad, but her shyness was beyond anything Miku had ever encountered. She remembered, on the first day, the green-haired girl had been too terrified to introduce herself by coming up to the front of the room, and Teto had followed her up to help. The pigtailed girl could quote the drill-haired girl word for painful word.

"Hey, everyone! Since Goomi-oomi is too shy, the amazing Kasane Teto-sama will help her!" At this point, Gumi was blushing bright red and shaking like crazy. "This is my best friend in the entire world who I love more than life. Her name is Megpoid Megumi. Weird name, right? Anyway, she's super shy and smart and sometimes she sleeps with a carrot plushy since she loves carrots. She can also speak fluent English! She'd make a really good girlfriend, but she's mine, so stay away!" Which was when Teto glomped Gumi with the force of a train. Later, Miku learned she preferred being called "Gumi," hence the nickname "Goomi-oomi". Needless to say, her first day of high school was pretty weird.

Miku supposed she liked Gumi well enough, but in her opinion the girl was much too shy. She couldn't stand up for herself, let alone anyone else, and was often dragged through Neru's and Teto's schemes like a rag doll. However, Miku was always involved with said schemes much in the same way Gumi was and she never managed to stand up for herself. Pot calling the kettle black much?

At her current place in time, Miku could say they were involved with some sort of scheme, although whatever it was, Miku couldn't tell. All she knew was she was stuck in a large clothing store in a mall next to a silent Gumi. Neru and Teto were running around like maniacs, trying on clothes and tossing their finds at Miku, who had recently changed from a human to a pack mule. See, in their little group, Miku was kind of, well… the bitch. She couldn't exactly remember how she had become the bitch, but ever since her first interaction with Akita Neru, she had been placed in her circle of friends in order to do whatever Queen Neru didn't want to. It honestly wasn't that bad. The three people she was in charge of following and basically serving were good people at heart, even if they got on her nerves. Why she, a delinquent-turned-goody-two-shoes, put up with this, she didn't understand. But having partial friends was better than getting bullied, like she had in middle school.

"Yo, Hatsune-san," Neru greeted as she came up to the weighed-down girl, "Mind getting us some smoothies? I'm starting to crave some sugar."

Teto came bouncing up with another shirt or two. "Oh, good idea, Ru-chan!"

Neru rolled her eyes. "The last thing you need is sugar," Neru told the beaming lunatic, "Whatever. Here, Hatsune-san. Use this money to buy us some."

Miku nodded, and set the clothes she had been brought to carry next to Gumi. She didn't need them to tell her their orders. They did this to her enough she already knew what to get.

The girl arrived at the food court in a little under five minutes. She had gotten a little distracted by a sale on shoes, but it didn't keep her long. A waiting Neru was a dangerous Neru. Because of this, Miku did her best to hurry.

"An orange hazelnut smoothie, a strawberry peach smoothie and a cherry smoothie, please," Miku requested once the short line had moved her up to the counter. She slid the money across the countered and waited while the girl behind the counter prepared the drinks. Miku avoided looking at the sweets on the menu, knowing she would crave them if she did. Miku wasn't exactly good at controlling herself when it came to food.

"Thank you," Miku told the girl, and then swiftly turned around. This was a mistake on her part, as she promptly smashed into a slightly taller girl, spilling Gumi's cherry smoothie all down the front of her jacket.

"Oh-" Miku began, and cut herself off, "W-well, ah…" Even a girl like Miku would be embarrassed about this. Not only had she spilled a staining liquid onto a total stranger, said stranger's jacket was soaked.  _And_  it was snowing outside. God, Miku could really be a clumsy idiot at times.

The girl, a rather cute blonde with beautiful cerulean eyes, glanced first at her jacket, then to the half-empty cup of smoothie, and finally to Miku's pale face, which clearly read  _Please don't kill me_. Her hair was held in two pigtails, like Miku's, but her blonde hair was much shorter, and created a very cute image.

"I'm very sorry!" Miku exclaimed, and bowed slightly, "I'm afraid I wasn't paying enough attention." Such a loud exclamation was bound to attract unwanted eyes their way, but Miku knew it was the best she could do. Apologies weren't exactly her forte.

A gentle hand was placed on her should, and Miku raised her green eyes to meet the girl's blue ones. Blue like a calm summer sky. Blue like the gentlest waves in the ocean. Blue like a certain famous idol who was now her ex…

Miku blushed at the thought of her ex-boyfriend, and the blonde girl smiled gently. "It's fine. No major harm done, right?"

Miku stood up straight again, feeling stupid for bowing. Her other drinks could have spilled, for God's sake!

"Are you sure? Y-you're jacket… It looks pretty soaked. Won't you be cold when you finally have to go outside?" Miku asked, staring at the red stain that lay across the light blue material.

"I can handle it."

"It's my fault. I'd feel guilty if you got too cold or something so… s-so, I can lend you my jacket," Miku offered straining the lid back on the remainder of Gumi's cherry smoothie.

The blonde examined her for a moment. Miku grew uncomfortable under her gaze, and avoided eye contact by any possible means. This meant staring about two feet to the blond girl's left, at an empty chair.

"Okay," the blonde agreed. Miku blinked, set her cups down, and slid off her jacket. Maybe she would share Teto's insanely large winter coat or something. The drill haired girl would be quite willing, even if Miku wasn't.

To Miku's surprise, her jacket was slightly too big for the girl, especially in the, ah… chest area. Actually, as far as Miku could tell, this girl was totally flat-chested. Not like she was trying to look or anything. It was just something she noticed.

"I'll return the jacket if I ever see you again," the girl told Miku, smiling brightly. Miku nodded, and as the girl left, she knew she would probably have to buy a new jacket.

The next day was a Thursday, and Miku found herself almost completely forgetting her encountered with the blonde at the mall. Her thoughts were mainly filled with Teto, since the girl was currently doing all she could to drive Miku batty.

"Hey, Hatsune-saaaan! Guess what?" Teto bounced happily, much like a puppy would. Or possibly a child with too much sugar in their system. Either way, the description worked.

"Yes, Kasane-san?" Miku asked. Great. Her free period, the only time she got to relax a bit, was being invaded by this lunatic. Gumi sat helplessly in the seat behind Miku, watching the two girls silently.

"I fell asleep in our last class! Lily-san had to throw a pencil at me," Teto happily explained, like falling asleep and being attacked by a pencil were good things. "I didn't understand the lesson at all. Math is the most boringest thing in the world."

"It's 'most boring', Teto-chan," Gumi informed the perky girl in her light, shy voice. Teto waved away the correction.

"Teto doesn't care!" the girl replied, as she often did when Gumi corrected her. "Oh, but Hatsune-san took excellent notes! Look at the neatness! No wonder you get good grades!" Teto had stolen Miku's teal notebook and, against the girl's wishes, began to skim through it. "Wow! You have super pretty handwriting, Hatsune-san! How'd you get all of this?

"Eh, Teto-chan! Stop flattering her and ask for the notes already!" a tall, blonde girl who sat behind Teto named Lily happened to be passing by, and commented quite loudly. Miku didn't know the girl very well, but she was a bit self-absorbed and was always messing with her long, blonde hair. She was pretty, and seemed smart, as she was twentieth in the class. Mind you, this was out the entire tenth grade, a grand total of 300 or so students, at least. Twentieth was pretty damn good.

"Lily-chan ruined the surprise!" Teto pouted.

"Oh, please. A deaf Chihuahua could've guessed," Lily's blue eyes met the ceiling as she rolled them at Teto's stupidity.

Teto ignored the girl's comment, and instead turned large red eyes on Miku. "So can I, Hatsune-san?"

Miku found it weird that Neru, Teto and Gumi still called her by her last name. Even though they weren't technically friends, what with Miku's status of "slave", they had all been going to the same high school for two or so years now. Miku vaguely remembered Gumi from her middle school days, and the two of them had even been in the same class at one point This always caused Miku some confusion, since the other three girls still acted like this was their first month of high school and they didn't know each other.

"Um," Miku started after being pulled into her own, private thoughts, "O-okay. Sure."

Teto clapped her hands together. A very childish sign of happiness. "Yay! Thank you so much, Hatsune-san!" Miku couldn't help a small smile staining her lips; Teto was a five-year-old in a sixteen-year-olds body.

"But why didn't you ask Megpoid-san? She gets better grades than me." It was true; Gumi was the first in the class, six spaces ahead of Miku and probably at least fifty ahead of Teto, who constantly fell asleep in class. The green-haired girl was amazingly intelligent, always taking on extra credit and in all advanced classes. Miku had to admit, Gumi was an impressive person.

Teto stopped bouncing around and a serious expression crossed her face. The drill-haired girl leaned in and whispered, in a tone of seriousness that didn't fit her at all, "Gumi-chan has horrible handwriting."

"Even worse than Neru-chan's," Gumi sadly agreed. The girl was surprised into a blush as Teto attacked her from behind and hugged her.

"But we still love Gumi-chan!" Teto happily reassured the girl. Was she bipolar or something?

"Excuse me, Hatsune-san," a tall girl tapped Miku on the shoulder, and Miku glanced up. She quickly stood as she realized the girl before her was Megurine Luka, an eleventh grader with a status close to that of an idol. Although she wasn't the smartest person, Megurine Luka had a commanding presence, probably from her years of acting. Miku had seen her in at least three school plays, and even in a commercial. She was a strong young woman with a passion for reading and cooking. These were all things people at Miku's school knew. Megurine Luka was even worshipped by certain students, giving her insane popularity. Even the twelfth-graders respected her.

"O-oh. Hello, Megurine-sempai," Miku greeted, quietly. Megurine Luka was very pretty up close. She smelled like… lilies. That was the smell.

"The office sent me. You have a guest waiting for you," Luka informed her, calmly playing with a strand of her long, pale pink hair, a habit many people found cute.

"Thank you, Sempai," Miku replied, standing up. She nearly fell over again as Teto tackled her.

"Noooo! Hatsune-saaan!" Teto complained, nuzzling into Miku's chest and making the annoyed girl blush. Luka eyed the younger girls, and muttered something along the lines of, "Yuri…"

"Enough, Kasane-san," Miku pulled the girl off her and kept her at arm's length, and a pout appeared on Teto's face.

"What Megurine-sempai must've thought," Gumi murmured as the older girl slipped away, not a second glance gracing the three of them. Teto's complaining had distracted Miku so much; she hadn't noticed the girl leaving.

"But I don't want Hatsune-san to go! We never see her enough!" Teto whined.

Miku suppressed a natural eye-roll. Some of her rude delinquent side was left in her, after all. "Kasane-san, don't be like that. I-I promise, I'll be right back."

This was when Miku decided to leave, shooting Gumi a smile that read  _Good luck_. Gumi, all alone with Teto. Oh, the fun they would have. Miku grinned; just because she refrained from sarcasm and acted like a perfect little girl around other people didn't mean she had to in her thoughts as well.

Once she had reached the front office, Miku opened the door and glanced around the bright room. On one wall, five chairs sat in a row, facing the main desk. A boy with silver hair sat alone in a chair to the far right, a positively bored expression set across his features. Miku's heart leapt ever so slightly as his eyes met hers. This was Utatane Piko, a long-time friend of Miku's and the boy she had a small crush on. Miku saw him smile in greeting, but also noticed his bruised eye and the dried blood around his nose. No doubt the idiot had gotten into another fight. Nevertheless, Miku smiled happily back.

Miku crossed the room to the main desk, where a young brunette woman sat sorting papers. She had stern red eyes focused on Piko, who was most likely waiting for a punishment after his fight.

"E-excuse me. I-I'm Hatsune Miku. Was there a visitor for me?" she politely asked, keeping her (fake) stutter to a minimum.

The woman glanced up at Miku, her eyes softening, "You just missed her, Hatsune-san. She left you that jacket, though." The woman gestured to the mound of fabric in front of her, which lay in a heap on the desk.

"Oh. Thank you," Miku replied scooping up the jacket and folding it under her arm.

"This note, as well," the woman added as she held up a folded piece of paper. Miku took it and thanked her once again. On her way out, she stuck her tongue out at Piko, who in turn crossed his multi-colored eyes at her playfully.

Once in the hall, she unfolded the note carefully and stared down at the delicate, pretty writing. It read:

 

 

**_Dear Hatsune-san,_ **

**_Honestly, who leaves their cell phone in a borrowed_ **

**_jacket? You must be a really hopeless girl. But since_ **

**_I'm a good person, I'll return it to you. How about you_ **

**_meet me outside your school today when your classes_ **

**_are over? Then I'll give the cell phone back to you. All_ **

**_I ask is one little favor, which will be revealed at our meeting._ **

**_Bye-bye, Mi-chan!_ **

 

**_-Kagine Lin_ **

 

 

Miku was pretty sure her face was bright red. With anger, not embarrassment. This girl, this Kagine Lin, had some nerve saying these things about her as if she knew Miku at all. It was just rude to pass judgment on people you didn't know. Although Miku had to admit, this girl had a point. She could be pretty hopeless when it came to losing things. Most teens would remember their cell phones, especially a certain girl named Akita Neru.

"God dammit," Miku let the words slip, and if she had been around anyone, her reputation might've been a bit damaged. A girl like Miku didn't use words like that. She could imagine steam pouring from her ears, like something out of a cartoon.

She didn't really have a choice. There was no way she could afford another phone. And getting a part time job was, well, just not an option. She doubted the school would approve, and her studies would certainly take a pounding if she took up a job.

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Miku gathered her textbooks together quickly before Teto could attack her and Neru could give her a weird command, a favorite pastime of the blonde. She slipped between people, aided by her short stature and her slim figure. A few feet in front of the door, she broke into a sprint and bolted into the cold air outside. Her lungs stung as she inhaled it down into her core, and then breathed out in satisfaction. She tightened her coat around her, shoving her gloved hands into her pockets. She reached the gates at 2:35; five minutes after the bell had released her. A girl stood outside the gate, her eyes following Miku like an animal. The girl was familiar and a lot less attractive with a solid glare fixed to her features.

"Took you long enough," the girl commented, brushing her blonde bangs out of her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," Miku murmured, trying to keep up her shy act as her blood slowly began to boil.

"Drop it, chick. I'm not stupid," the girl replied. Miku ignored her "advice" and continued to stare at her with wide eyes, like an innocent child. "Fine, whatever. I'll just introduce myself," the blonde smiled, but this was a cold smile. Miku didn't like the look of it in the least. "I'm Kagine Lin, a student at Sakura Academy."

Miku stayed silent, so Lin picked up her end of the conversation. "And you're Hatsune Miku, the hopeless girl who lost her phone."

This made Miku's features deepen into a scowl. "Shut up already. I'm here so tell me what the hell you want and give me my cell phone back, you pain."

Lin let out a light, airy laugh. "You're a pretty good actress, I'll give you that." Then she coughed lightly to clear her thought. Even that sounded elegant. "Okay, so here's what I want. Set me up on a date with Shion Kaito and you can have your phone back. But," she winked in a very irritating way, like an anime girl might, "If you don't, I'm not giving the phone back."

It was Miku's turn to laugh. Lin stared as she let loose and doubled over, giggles erupting from her like lava from an active volcano. "Geeze, that's more pathetic than anything I've ever encountered. You're just some common fangirl, huh? That's priceless!" Lin scowled, but Miku couldn't see through eyes swimming with tears of laughter. Eventually, Miku calmed down and looked Lin straight in the eye, a frown replacing her laughter.

"Sorry, but I can't help you," Miku firmly replied, "Shion Kaito isn't your type."

Lin glared, and snapped, "What do you mean, not my type?"

"Frankly, he doesn't really like girls. Or random strangers. Or fangirls, either. You seem to fit all categories," Miku informed the girl, coldly. To her surprise, and slight annoyance, a grin that read  _I win_  spread across Lin's delicate face. The sight made her skin crawl for various reasons. One; a person like this Kagine Lin character was not supposed to win. Two; Miku hated losing. She also hated being kept in the dark. Both of these things seemed to be happening. Three; anything involving Shion Kaito and a fangirl was going to come back and bite her in the rear.

"Oh, it's really too bad then. Even a boy like me doesn't stand a chance, then," Lin sighed dramatically. Now, Miku had never been the most attentive person, but the strange girl had just called herself a boy, right? Right?

"Oh, yes, Hatsune-san. You've heard me correctly," the 'girl' smiled. The smile was smug, arrogant, an expression Miku interpreted as 'in your face, bitch'.

Miku blinked in confusion, and proceeded to scowl deeply, angry green eyes piercing her acquaintance. Lin visibly shivered at the glare, something 'she' greatly regretted. Although, admittedly, Miku had one hell of a glare.

"Fanboys? You think I haven't dealt with your sort before?" she spat, placing her right hand on her hip and narrowing her eyes. The very picture of teenage irritation. "Alright, so the ones I've dealt with might not have gone quite so 'all out' with their obsessions, but honestly I'm sure I'll have you gone in a week, no problem."

Lin's smug grin remained. "Believe me, if anyone can win Shion Kaito's heart, it will be me."

"I'm not letting you anywhere near him. And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from him," Miku threatened.

Suddenly, her cellphone was right under her nose as Lin waved it about. The plastic case almost hit her in the mouth as she jumped back to avoid the cellphone-turned-hostage. In irritation, she dropped her bag, and went to grab the phone, but missed. She almost fell unceremoniously to the concrete of the sidewalk below, but managed to catch her balance just enough to hop to a standstill. It didn't look very respectable, but at least she saved herself from scraped knees.

"I seem to have the upper hand," Lin stated as he held the phone above his head. Although he was short, the cross dressing irritation was a good three inches taller than Miku, which she had failed to notice before.

"I hate you already," Miku spat, her eyes deadly and sharp. She adjusted her bag, letting it hand from her elbow as she crossed her arms. Lin laughed at the shorter female, smoothing down a strand of misplaced blonde hair that the wind had sent flying.

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer," was the reply Miku was offered. Her scowled deepened into a sneer and she turned her back on Lin.

"Shut up and follow me. If we're going to talk, we're not doing it in this hellish cold," the girl snapped, buttoning her coat up a bit further. The mildly surprised Lin watched, blinking, as Miku walked about ten feet away, and then turned back around sharply.

"Are you an ice sculpture or just slow?" Miku demanded in irritation.


	2. Chapter 2

"This is your house?" Lin scoffed. His blond pigtails swung as he glanced coldly around the yard. "It certainly isn't impressive."

"Were you expecting gold doorknobs or something?" Miku snapped. Her brows cut down into her face, glaring at the lock in her hand as she forced the key inside. Muttering words that are best left unsaid, she struggled for a moment before kicking the door open and throwing her bag to the side. The front hall was clean, neat, tidy, a shelf of shoes placed next to the door. A coat closet had been built off to the right; the wooden doors sliding aside as Miku irritably flung her gloves and coat inside. It was cold out, and not even a hothead like Miku could last long without her warm coat.

"Idiot," was the single reply she received as the two slid their shoes off. Setting her teeth on edge, Miku led the way down the hall and to a room on the left. Said room was more commonly known as the kitchen, and held one occupant. Miku was not at all surprised to find her older brother at the sink, scrubbing a recently used bowl. The scent of sweet baked goods sent a smile across Miku's face despite Lin's presence.

"Hi, Miku!" her brother exclaimed, turning his head to reveal a large smile and reflective green eyes.

Hatsune Mikuo was a bright boy. Very bright. The best in his class, as a matter of fact. Not only did he have brains, he was kind, good-looking, and one hell of a cook. He resembled Miku to the closest detail, matching her green eyes in shade and shape. The two both had silky, delicate teal hair, hair that was insanely hard to comb and wash. Despite the fact that Mikuo was male, he had a feminine air to him. Perhaps it was his innocence, perhaps it was his love of cooking and baking, but Miku sometimes wondered whether she was the brother and he was the sister.

"Hello, Mikuo!" she greeted warmly, ignoring Lin, who stared closely at Mikuo. He was attractive, she knew, and girls and guys alike fawned over him. It was simply irritating to imagine Lin anywhere near Mikuo in any way, and she refused to keep them in the same room for too long.

"Ah, who's this?" Mikuo asked, shining his gentle smile on Lin. Dear God, she hope the boy wasn't on the verge of flirting.

"Just someone I know," Miku replied, trying to sound natural as she fought the urge to yank Lin from the room, "We'll be in my room if you want anything."

Hurriedly, Miku attempted not to storm from the room, which was surprisingly hard. She really, really  _hated_  anyone getting close to Mikuo. No, it wasn't some sort of weird older brother complex. She didn't like seeing him hurt, which tended to happen because of the friends he chose.

"Woah, slow down. What's your problem?" Lin demanded as Miku forced her own bedroom door open, roughly sending her laundry hamper flying to the floor. Cursing, the pigtailed girl ignored the contents of her wardrobe scattered on her floor except for an irate kick; her only attempt to clean the mess at all.

"You, clearly."

Miku sneered at the eye roll she received, crossing her arms and turning to glare at Lin. "Alright, Master Kagene. What the hell am I supposed to help you do?"

"Oh, such an easy question. It's too easy to use to insult you," Lin stated in a scoff, "All I want is a date with Shion Kaito."

Miku narrowed her eyes. "You already said that. What makes you think I know him?"

"He's number one on your speed dial, you moron." Lin waved the tiny green phone that belonged to Miku in the air, "Seriously, I wonder how you've lived so long with that intelligence of yours."

Miku fought a growl, realizing the immaturity of the action. "People who like keeping their limbs shouldn't snoop through others' personal items, like, for example,  _their phones_."

"Blah, blah, blah. Look, if I wanted a lecture, I'd go bug my parents," Lin snapped.

"Good plan. Go bug them instead of me," Miku suggested, and regretted it. She wanted her damn phone back, and if she had cooperate with Lin to get it, she would just have to shut up and do it, even if he was… kind of weird. Infuriating. In need of a kick to the head. Maybe he'd get one eventually.

"As much as I hate you as well, my dear, we're going to have to live with each other for a while," Lin's smug smile flashed across his face. Miku knew he had her there, but that didn't mean she wanted to cooperate quite that easily yet.

"And  _why_  would I live with you at all? I'm hearing you out. That doesn't mean I'm going to agree to anything," Miku replied sourly.

"And thus I reveal my upper hand. Aside from the fact that I am in possession of your phone," Lin smiled. Miku did not like that smile. Cold, calculating and sharp. Three words to describe the smile upon Lin's pretty face.

"You see, I've discovered a few things about you, Hatsune-san. I was kind of wondering why a sad little nothing like you would hide the fact you know and used to be in a relationship with the ever-famous Shion Kaito. I wasn't able to find it out," Lin winked dangerously, "But I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone to know. Like the press. God, what a field day they'd have with that."

Miku glared. It was true; back a few years ago, in middle school, she and Kaito had been dating. For a while, actually. Remember Miku's mention of her boyfriend with a strange obsession? Yeah, that would be Kaito. It had been a little before he became so popular, and happened not too far into his music career. She hoped no one ever found out about that. Fangirls would swarm to the news like flies to fruit. Quite frankly, someone like her being associated with Shion Kaito would destroy his reputation, with good reason. After all, her messed up past had basically ruined all relations with everyone she had ever known.

"Was that a threat?" Miku deadpanned at the look Lin shot her.

"This is like talking to a child. No joke," Lin replied. Miku groaned audibly, rubbing her temples.

"Alright, Hatsune-san. Here's how it goes: You help me with Shion Kaito, I'll give back your phone and whatever dark secrets you've hidden remain that way. Yes, I intend to find all of the things you don't want me to. Money is a great friend when you want information, and rest assured I have plenty of money. If you piss me off, bad things are going to happen," Lin stated these things plainly, a cold look placed on his face. It was evident all previous joy and driving Miku batty was now hidden, and he actually took the situation seriously.

With a sharp intake of breath, Miku focused her eyes on Lin. The stare she had caused something to break in Lin, resulting in the urge to quake with fear and to rush from the room. But, oddly enough, the boy held his ground.

"I'll agree," Miku decided. What the hell else could she do? "But let me promise you this, at the least. You screw with Kaito in any way, I will hurt you. And if you intend to find my secrets, you'll realize just how serious that threat is later. No joke."

And Lin felt a faulty smile fade onto his face in an attempt to hide an intense fear burning in his chest. There was something about Hatsune Miku that absolutely terrified him. He was almost wishing he had never gotten on her bad side, because, in all honesty, he wouldn't be surprised if she was a wanted murderer.

"Oh, I know that already," Lin assured her. Miku was slightly proud of the hesitant way he spoke, but also felt guilt chew at her. She didn't like scaring people. Well, at least she knew Lin deserved it.

"Good. Anything else?" Miku asked coldly, hoping that this whole mess could be abandon soon.

Lin smirked. "You'll find out soon enough."

And Miku suddenly realized that was the last thing on Earth she wanted.

Throughout the remainder of the week, which was all of three days as her meeting with Lin had occurred on a Wednesday, Miku managed to struggle through school (pronounced hell) as she carried the weight on her back added by Kagine Lin. It drove her mad that the boy appeared every single day at the gate. Not to talk, not even to walk her home or anything else. He would stand there as her last class ended, staring up at the window she sat next to. The only class she sat next to a window in and that idiot had to ruin it for her. She didn't think he could get any more irritating.

However, she was surprised to find him still at the gate at the end of school on Friday, wearing his rather expensive-looking girls' uniform. The fact it looked better on him than it ever would on her made her ill. Violently so. Violent and Miku were two words no enemy of hers wants to here in the same paragraph.

"What the hell do you want?" Miku demanded her lip curling automatically as she approached the gate, her scowl fixed and her bag hanging from her left shoulder. All Lin did was smile innocently. "And how do you manage to get here so quickly? Do you even go to class?"

"My school gets out way earlier," was the answer she received. Well, at least he had bothered to reply, which was pretty surprising, actually. "But that's not what I want to talk to you about."

A grin appeared on his face, stretching to Cheshire Cat-like proportions. "Tell me, Hatsune-san. Do you like Kagamine Len, by any chance?"

Miku deadpanned, a look of complete emotionless nothing settling onto her face. "What?" she asked, unable to connect his question to anything she knew about him.

"I asked if you are a fan of Kagamine Len?" he repeated his grin turning into a smirk. The look caused an angry flush to break across Miku's cheeks.

"You idiot. I heard you just fine," Miku snapped.

"Insults are currently getting you nowhere, Princess," he replied sharply, blue eyes hardening as his smile remained, "Answer the question."

Miku clentched her jaw, but relaxed a bit in order to talk. "Kagamine Len is talented," she offered unwillingly.

"That was entirely unhelpful. Thank you."

She shot Lin a glare. "Shut up. I guess he's a good singer."

"Liar. I saw all of the CDs in your room. I bet you're some weird fangirl. Hey! You might even have a body pillow!" Lin twirled a strand of hair around his fingers, letting the smooth blond locks catch the light. Oh, God, Miku really hoped no one was staring. It really looked like Lin was flirting or something.

"Absolutely not! Just because I have a few albums doesn't mean I'm obsessed! I like Hagane Miku and Yowane Haku much better!" Miku found herself on the point of yelling and tried to calm down, her breath coming out in a chilly, frosty cloud against the cold air.

Lin pouted. "You're no fun," was her brilliant retaliation, "Besides, who buys actual CDs anymore? Everyone keeps music on their iPods and their phones. How old are you, fourty?"

Never mind, that retaliation was pretty good.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to drop-kick you," Miku threatened for lack of any better reply.

"Go ahead and try. I'm taller than you."

"Not much of a feat. Everyone's taller than me. A person would think you would be at least five foot six or something, being a guy and all," Miku snapped in response, and that seemed to hit a nerve. She had to admit, she reveled in the murderous look upon Lin's face.

"We're done with that topic," he stated shortly, "Just give a straight answer; Are you a Len fan or not?"

"Yeah," Miku decided to cooperate a bit, even if she had no idea where this was headed.

"Thought so. Well, then, how about you and me go to the concert?" he asked. And Miku was stunned. What motive lurked under this gesture?

"What?"

"Dear Lord, you're irritating. Have you been listening at all?" Lin demanded, rolling blue eyes to the sky.

"Shut up. This isn't the sort of thing I'd expected from you," Miku felt her face harden irritably, a frown fighting itself onto her brow.

"That I will accept," Lin muttered. He seemed to be unaware of the ear Miku had widely open, catching what he said, but just barely.

"What's the catch?" Miku felt suspicious. Who wouldn't? It was clear the two didn't get along well. Miku might go as far as to say Lin was a bit jealous of her. After all, she held the place of Shion Kaito's close friend, despite the lack of frequent contact between the two.

"Ah, well," Lin let his smile return, "You'll find out soon enough, won't you?"

Miku really hated that phrase already.


	3. Chapter 3

There were a few terms Lin set after inviting Miku. They were as follow:

Miss Hatsune Miku must attend said concert with Kagine Lin's insane sister (Miku had yet to meet the girl, but Lin reassured her that his sister most certainly was crazy)

Lin would not be there to accompany her. He had a "previous engagement".

Miku would be in charge of taking care of Lin's cat whenever he wasn't able to. This felt like a rather random request, but she liked cats well enough to agree. Because, come on, it was a Kagamine Len concert.

Honestly, none of these terms bothered Miku too much. She could deal with mentally unstable girls without too much trouble, although Lin had gotten a strange look on his face when he mentioned his older sister. Apparently, she was nineteen, pretty, and in need of professional help. According to Lin, she was the most childish person in existence. However, since the boy refused to pursue the topic, Miku was unable to find out anything else. She seriously hoped this sister of his wasn't as bad as he made her out to be.

This led Miku to her current Friday night location. An entire week after Lin's invitation. It was chilly out, and standing outside the theater where Kagamine Len was set to preform wasn't as fun as one might think. Miku was waiting for the psychotic Kagine sister. She had to pull multiple excuses out of her ass in order to avoid Neru and Teto, who were hell bent on dragging Miku to their dance lesson. Yes, the ever-graceful pair took dance, to Miku's eternal surprise. No doubt they'd have her running in a flurry to fetch water for them. No, thanks. Miku would much rather freeze to death outside one of the best concerts she'd ever have the chance to attend. Speaking of which, if that Kagine girl didn't show up soon, she'd just go on without her.

Maybe the universe decided to cut her a break, because, moments after this thought, a short, blond figure approached from down the sidewalk. It was dark out, nearing eight at night, and Miku could really only make out the girl's bright eyes and a giant bow perched atop her head. As the girl drew closer at a rather fast pace, Miku turned to stare at her indifferently.

The girl was pretty. Blond, with huge blue eyes and smooth, creamy skin. Her legs, which were revealed by short-shorts and crazy orange and yellow striped knee socks, were muscular, fit, and smooth. How she wasn't frozen was a mystery. Did she have a death wish?

In any case, the girl was still attractive. And very obviously related to Lin. Where he had the "I look like a girl" thing going on, his sister was surprisingly boyish. She had almost no chest or curves, and her hair must've been even shorter than Lin's. A bright white bow sat atop her hair, flopping over cutely. She seemed so childish. How was she older than Miku? That idea was ridiculous.

"Hello! You're Hatsune Miku-san, right?" the girl beamed, "I'm Kagamine Rin!"

Miku was sure she had heard the girl wrong. Kagine and Kagamine were similar-sounding enough. All the shouts of "Kagamine Len! Kagamine-sama!" filtering from inside the theater would most likely have caught the name in her ears. Probably. That made the most sense.

"I'm Hatsune Miku. It's nice to meet you, Kagine-san," Miku was actually drowned out as a huge roar of noise erupted from inside. She scowled, and Rin smiled good-naturedly at her.

"Come on, Hatsune-san! I'm sure I kept you waiting long enough," Rin told her. Well, that was considerate. At least she realized how irritating it had been, waiting out in the cold.

Rin led her inside, handing their tickets to the front desk, where a pretty woman with blond hair sat smiling. She handed back to stubs, and Miku and Rin entered the large doors of the theater they were meant to go to, the number marked above the door telling them where to go.. How they had managed to find such a large place  _inside_  for a Kagamine Len concert, she had no idea. The concert was due to start in five minutes, and already the audience was unbearably loud. Shouts and passionate cries filled her ears, and despite her hatred of loud people, Miku found a smile on her face. Her spirit came alive with music. Music was love, hate, pain, sadness, beauty, so many emotions and meanings wrapped together. It was amazing, what music could make her feel. An escape from reality was what it offered, and Miku could not turn that down.

She heard her own voice let out a loud cheer as Kagamine Len made his entrance, smiling and waving to his fans. His lovely blue eyes searched the crowd, allowing an even larger smile to spread across his face. He wore a tight-fitting black t-shirt made of stretchy material. His skinny jeans were also rather close-fitting, dark and new-looking. Not a stain or tear marred Kagamine Len's outfit, and he looked just as attractive as ever, his blond hair pulled into his usual messy ponytail. The lights hit his as he stood before the microphone. He waved again, waiting for the absolutely wild crowd to settle down.

"Hello, everyone!" he greeted, and the crowd roared. Miku heard Rin's voice rise above the clamor and meld with the others. Everything was so loud, pounding into her head. She loved it. And she was sure Kagamine Len did, too.

"I'm glad all of you are here! The tickets actually sold out weeks ago! I can't believe it!" he spoke silkily, gently, weaving a beautiful voice through the air. Miku felt familiarity in that voice, but ignored the feeling. She listened to Len sing so much that she felt she would know his voice anywhere.

"Anyway, I have some new people to introduce. We had to hire some new performers. The others' got a bit of a vacation. But I'm sure you won't mind," Len smiled and gestured behind himself, "Over on drums, we've got the ever-amazing Hagane Miku-san."

The pigtailed girl smirked in a surprisingly evil way as applause met Len's introduction.

"For lead and rhythm guitar, we've got the Sakine pairing. Sakine/Meiko are up-and-coming dual idols. If you haven't heard of them, they actually both have the same name, but one of them goes by Meiko and one goes by Sakine. I think Sakine's the younger one," Len explained. Miku already knew this. She always stayed up-to-date about the music world. Sakine, a shorter, younger girl, seemed to roll her eyes from her place beside the older woman with her name, but Miku was too far away to make out her face completely.

"Dear old Oliver is going to be my back-up vocals. For an Englishman, he speaks Japanese fairly well," Len teased the younger boy, who rolled his one eye. He had been in an accident a few years ago, when he wasn't very old and probably just entering the music industry, and lost his eye. Nonetheless, he was adorable, for a thirteen-year-old.

"And, lastly, on bass, my friend Suzuki Aria. She's been playing for about six or seven years, so rest assured, she knows what she's doing," Len grinned back into the audience as they examined Aria. She was a pretty girl, with long, pale pink hair and intense blue eyes. Miku found her outfit… eccentric, but also pretty damn cool at the same time.

"Now, my fans, I'm sure all of you are ready for me to begin, so I'll stop dragging this out," Kagamine Len laughed a bit as the crowd reached its loudest yet. He nodded to Hagane, who introduced her drum line with a flare only she could produce. The beat settled, and the others came in. This Aria girl was good, and Sakine/Meiko preformed just as well. Oliver had a higher voice than Len, but their voice molded well, Oliver trailing behind Len's powerful singing. The song was one Miku had replayed to death, holding the lyrics in her mind. She felt her lips mold to them silently as she moved with the pulsating crowd. Cheers shook her through and through, the guitars and the bass and the drums pounding in her head and against her body. Beside her, Rin shouted her encouragement, pumping a fist into the air. The people around her were too close, heat beating against her, around her, into her, but she didn't care. The music, the wonderful music, was all that mattered.

But all too soon, that song ended and the cheering crowd was all that remained in Miku's ears. There was no disappointment, however; she had the whole night to enjoy this feeling.

The concert drew on, with the occasional few words from Len and a story told here and there. He liked to tell stories. Whether they were true, Miku didn't know. But she pretended they were. Her idol wasn't lying, and she wanted to believe that more than anything else. Because, honestly, the only thing she could rely on lately was music.

"It's been great, you guys. Seriously. I'm so glad everyone is here. But this is the last song, and I hope you all enjoy it to death," Len smiled at the disappointed exclamations from the crowd, "Sorry, everyone. I'm sure another concert will happen before long."

Cheers rose again, and Miku let herself join, her smile stretching wide. To her complete and utter shock, Len's blue eyes found her and he  _winked._  Miku's heart froze in complete surprise, eyes widening. No, Miku was not attracted to Kagamine Len, despite his obvious good-looks. She appreciated his attractive smile and lovely eyes, but she wasn't the type of fangirl to obsess to the point of crushing on her idol. Besides, she already had Utatane Piko. Her feelings wouldn't vanish so quickly.

But the feeling that rose inside her as a response to Kagamine Len's actions didn't vanish as the final song began. Another song Miku knew all too well. Yet another song her stereo had heartlessly repeated to death. Oliver's voice introduced the melody, layered below electronic mixing. The sound flowed into Len's strong voice, the syllables punctured with distortion. Miku had always wondered, who was the girl who original sang this song with him? The girl who had been singing Oliver's part? She seemed to appear in Len's songs a lot, and no credit was ever given to her. Maybe she wanted to remain anonymous…?

In any case, the beat carried Miku away, the meaning of the words lost as the melody was caught in her head. Whatever he meant by his lyrics, Kagamine Len sang passionately, the microphone caught tightly in his hand. Oliver mirrored his passion, letting his simple backup vocals leave their mark on the music. The others, even the ever stoic Hagane Miku, smiled at him. Miku was surprised Hagane had agreed to help Len. She wasn't a fan of performance, or other idols, but for whatever, all the performers seemed to be enjoying themselves. Sakine and Meiko both had matching smirks, and Aria the unknown bassist let her own small smile appear, gentle next to the intense power of the others.

"Go, Lenny!" Rin shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth, pounding her fist into the air. Miku wasn't sure, but it seemed that Len singled her out, smiling and winking. Rin cheered happily, moving with the crowd. At some point, the blond girl grabbed Miku's hand, forcing her to move as well. Miku didn't mind. It had been a long time since she had been part of such fun.

The song ended all too quickly, leaving the crowd cheering and yelling their loudest yet. Len smiled, almost shyly, and attempted to settle the crowd a bit. Their cheers continued for a long time, but eventually the crowd settled a bit, eyes wide and breath ragged with excitement.

"Alright, everyone! That's what we've got for tonight! Thanks for supporting me, and make sure to check out these other great musicians! I think Sakine/Meiko are going to perform in concert two weeks from now, if anyone's interested," Len informed them, his voice far louder than the crowd now that they had quieted, "Good night, everyone! I hoped you enjoyed!" And with that, Len left the stage, leaving cheers in his wake. Oliver followed him, with Sakine and Meiko close behind. Aria, clutching her white Fender bass, gently unplugged her precious instrument and gracefully followed suit. Hagane kicked her stool aside and stuck her tongue out at the crowd, which Miku found amusing.

"That was great! Better than his last concert!" Rin exclaimed, dragging Miku through the crowd. They were both so short, it was surprising they weren't crushed.

_Last concert?_  Miku wondered,  _Must be some fangirl_.

"Come on, Hatsune-san! Let's go wait in the back room!" Rin said. Miku blinked in confusion, letting herself be dragged through the crowd. Rin's white bow bounced ahead of her. That stupid bow. It made the childish girl taller than her.

No one stopped them as the slipped into the lobby and down a new hallway. Miku didn't know where she was going, and she certainly hoped they wouldn't get in trouble. Silently, she stared at the back of Rin's head. She really did look like her brother. Their hair was the exact same shade of blond. Actually, they both sort of looked like Kagamine Len…

Miku's wandering thoughts were shoved into the present as she was pulled into a room. It was a nice room, with a large, comfortable-looking couch and large pictures framed on the wall. One depicted a lovely winter scene, trees shadowed in snow, icicles hanging delicately from branches. The walls were a gentle shade of blue, so light it was hard to tell the color was there. The floor was hardwood, recently cleaned. Miku didn't have time to take in everything before a second door opened, and another person entered. Miku was absolutely astonished to find Shion Kaito standing there.

"Kaito!" she exclaimed, rushing at him. He pounced on her as well, crushing her in a hug.

It had been a while since the two had been face-to-face. Sure, they chatted online and texted, but it was much nicer to be in the same room. He had actually gotten taller, reaching nearly six feet even now. His hair was a bit longer, neatly combed over his head. Apart from that, he was fairly unchanged.

"Why are you here?" Miku asked, looking up at him. Damn. He really was tall.

Kaito smiled warmly. "I was supposed to help Len-san with his concert. Bass, you know. But I hurt my wrist yesterday. Nearly broke it, apparently. So they had me do some easy stuff, since I insisted. I nearly ruined the poor guy's concert. The least I could do, right?"

That was Kaito. No doubt he fell down the stairs or something.

"You're too nice," Miku decided, "It's silly. What did they have you do?"

"Sound set up. I wasn't allowed to carry anything, but I think I helped. Maybe," Kaito let a slightly worried smile play about his lips.

"You probably just got in their way," Miku stated. She couldn't help being brutally honest with her idiot ex. Yes, they were friends, but he was just so  _dumb_  sometimes. Kaito let out an agreeing sigh.

"Probably," he replied, "But I had fun being here. Good ol' Hagane and the Sakine weirdoes. Oh, and Oliver. I hadn't met him before."

"And Kagamine-san?"

"Yep." Kaito sent her that cheerful smile of his. Despite his immaturity, that smile made him seem so much older than he was.

Miku was aware that Len and Kaito worked together quite often. They liked to cooperate, it seemed. When Len was just getting started, Kaito, who was older and had started his career earlier than Len, had helped the newbie. They got along, despite the age difference. Len was sixteen, whereas Kaito was eighteen. Surprise, surprise. Miku couldn't believe he was actually  _older_ than her.

"Ah, Lenny!" Rin exclaimed as the door that Kaito had entered through opened again. Miku turned to see Kagamine Len, who was busy smoothing down him bangs. He seemed tired, and when Rin tackled him, he just rolled his eyes. Miku's mouth dropped open. How could her companion just  _tackle_  an idol so casually? And Len didn't even do anything about it!

"Rin, I'm tired. Seriously. Get off," Len commanded, holding the girl at arms-length.

"Hey, Rin-san," Kaito greeted, "Are you here with Miku-chan?"

"Yep! She's fun!" Rin exclaimed brightly as she latched onto Miku's arm. This made the pigtailed girl very uncomfortable, but that blond had a death grip.

"You're going to break her arm," Kaito laughed, pulling Miku to his side and settling an arm around her. Rin pouted childishly.

"Hello, Hatsune-san," Len greeted. Wait-

No one had said her full name yet.

Miku turned to the boy, her eyes meeting his. She had never been this close to him. Ever. But he felt so familiar, and waves of negative energy blasted cold waves between them. Those blue eyes. They seemed to pierce her. Frosty, narrowed, so very, very  _familiar_.

"Oh, God," she muttered. She couldn't believe it. There was no mistaking those eyes. She hated those eyes.

It was most definitely Kagine Lin she was looking at.


	4. Chapter 4

The moment this realization struck her, Miku felt the intense urge to throw something. Or cry. Or set something on fire. Preferably Kagamine Len. God, this sucked (forgive her teenage way of describing it). Her  _idol_ , the only one she really had, was  _a complete jackass._  Well, just her luck, really. What else could Miku expect from such a kind gesture from that stupid gender-confused jerk? She had thought she could just enjoy tonight. But no. No joy for Hatsune Miku. No simple-minded fun. There always had to be some sort of twist in the rope she hung from. Really, it felt like she was hanging from an invisible rope at the edge of a cliff. She was starting to hate this; the way things worked out for her.

"What was that about, Miku? Are you alright?" Kaito asked, turning worried eyes to look into Miku's own cold pair. She had tensed up, shock gripping her limbs. A look similar to that of a frightened deer caught in the headlights of a car awoke upon her features. She just couldn't bring herself to look away from Len. Lin. Whoever the hell it was.

"Jeeze, Hatsune-san! You must be really tired or something," Rin examined her face, a cheerful grin granting her cheeks dimples.

"Perhaps the concert was too much. Someone should walk her home."

Len's voice. Lin's voice. God damn it, she didn't know what to call him even in her head.

"I don't think she's used to such loud crowds," the idol added.

_No. Don't pretend-_

"She is a bit anti-social," Kaito attempted to tease the frozen girl. Nothing came of it.

"I thought so," Miku heard Len reply.

_Don't pretend that-_

"Maybe you should get home, Miku, sweetie," Kaito's breath hit her ear, a whisper in the inner turmoil she was faced with.

"That's probably a good idea, Kaito-san. I'm sure someone of her sort isn't accustom to loud concerts," the idol boy.

 

**_Don't pretend you know me._ **

 

Miku shot him her most intense glare; a look that had made quite a few grown men switch sides while walking down the street towards her. Kaito flinched, Rin's eyes seemed to (impossibly) widen. The blond girl's bright smile turned sour, confusion spiking across her face.

"Go to hell," Miku spat, turning on her heels. Kaito attempted to lunge for her hand, but Miku didn't want any part of his affection. Coldly, she stalked from the room, her long pigtails trailing behind her. The door slammed behind her, and she soon found herself back in the main lobby area, cold air blasting in from the constantly opening doors. People filtered into the night, nudging against her, and she remained hidden among the taller teens and young adults.

_Just what the hell was that about?_  She muttered inside her own mind,  _Was he trying to put me on the spot like that?_

She shook her head, trying to clear out confusion and anger, as well as the excited chatter that buzzed into her ears. Miku wished they could all  _shut up_  for a few moments. Maybe the walk home would do her some good.

Miku ducked through the crowd, heading to the door. She tucked her jacket tighter around herself as she left the building, turning ro head to her house. She was sure a vivid discussion about her behavior was being held in the room she had left behind. Or maybe she was being a bit egotistical thinking that. It was of no matter to Kagamine Len how a moody, angry teenage girl acted around him. No, not around him. Toward him. In any case, she hoped Kaito might calm the storm. After all, she supposed Rin wasn't too bad. But if she was related to Len. If Len was in fact Lin.

Nope, no doubt about it. Len was Lin. Lin didn't exist. Lin was the fake identity of a super idol. Miku's super idol. Her only one.

She wasn't surprised to feel tears water into existence in her eyes. The cold night air caused the cold, salty tears to leave frozen tracks down her cheeks. She felt like a complete idiot. Len's plan all along must've been to make her look stupid, and she hated it. She hated looking stupid, and she hated bullies, too. Only bullies and horrible people liked to make other people miserable, and Len seemed to be trying pretty damn hard to do so with her.

"God damn it," she murmured running the back of her hand across her eyes, smearing wet tears over the lids of her closed eyes. She did her best to quicken her pace, knowing it wouldn't do any good to get caught by someone she knew. And of course someone she knew would be at a Kagamine Len concert. The attendees were still in groups around her, walking behind and ahead of her own pace. Maybe even Neru or Teto could be found in the crowd.

Miku's feet created a steady, fast pace. Her house wasn't too far away, hence why she was walking home at whatever Godforsaken time it was. Maybe she could manage to get there before completely breaking down.

She did manage, but what she wasn't expecting was the familiar, wiry figure of a boy, set against the light that was lit on her front porch. He sat on the front step, smoke curling from the cigarette between his lips. Silver hair caught the yellow lit above him, his pale face forced into shadows.

No mistaking that figure. Utatane Piko, her (mild) crush, had come for a visit.

"P-piko…" Miku attempted a greeting, smiling and hoping the light wouldn't reveal her tears. Her hope was wasted.

"Ah, Miku-chan," he replied, frowning as he stood. Miku noticed blood residue below his nose, and a long cut across his forehead. Another fight. So that's why he chose to visit her. He walked up to her, casting his cigarette below his boot. A pale, rough hand was extended and sharp features gained a soft edge as Piko placed his palm against her cheek. She fought to hold back a sob, but those tears continued.

"What's happened to you?" he asked, a thumb delicately brushing the skin below her eye, wiping away a tear.

"N-nothing," Miku stated, and suddenly found her face pressed into Piko's chest. The boy measured only about five feet seven inches, but was annoyingly taller than her. Tall enough to settle his head atop hers.

This display of affection was rare for Piko, but not when it came to Miku. The two were childhood friend; hugs and pecks on the cheek could be expected often enough. Despite Piko's bad-boy attitude, he never held back around his old friend. Miku knew that if she so chose, she could do the same.

"Come on," Piko guided her to the door like some poor child, which was appropriate enough, as that was how she felt, "It's so cold out tonight."

The front door, unlocked, yielded to them and the two slid out of their shoes. Mikuo expected Miku home and was honestly too lazy to answer the door when she arrived, just as she was too lazy to locate her house key. Sounds of a loud movie filtered from the living room, where Mikuo had settled himself before Miku had left. The scents of popcorn and butter met Miku's stuffy nose as she and Piko climbed the stairs, entering her room and shutting the door behind them.

"Miku," Piko began, draping his jacket over the back of her desk chair, "Something has obviously happened. Do you trust me or not?"

"Oh, shut up," she replied, drying her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket, "Let me go get the first aid kit, you dumb boy."

She left momentarily, going into her bathroom and opening the cabinet. The first aid kit was there, well-stocked and waiting for use. More specifically, Piko's use. The boy often came over after a fight, Miku being the only person close to him willing to patch him up after a fight. He got in a lot of fights. Sometimes with his older brother or his stepfather, or just with a random boy who happened to bug him at some point. He really wasn't any good with his fists. Miku could teach him a thing or two about fighting. Not that she really wanted to. She'd probably turn him into some sort of war machine with her skills.

Knocking herself out of her self-absorption, she returned to Piko, who was lounging on her bed in a  _very_ lazy, _very_  attractive way. He really didn't know how hot he was. And Miku didn't feel like pointing it out, as she would definitely get teased, even though he had done the same with her in previous years.

"Sit the hell up," she demanded, rolling her eyes as she sat beside him. He did so, slouching as he turned in her direction

"What the hell'd you do this time, moron?" she asked, opening the small kit and removing a tiny bottle of disinfectant and cotton balls.

"I resent that," he flinched as she pressed the stinging liquid to the cut on his forehead. It wasn't deep, but in was long, three or four inches. "Some jackass decided to take revenge for my last scuffle with him. Had a few friends join this time."

Miku sighed. "How many?"

"Three."

"I'm surprised you're alive. Get me next time. Or, better yet, don't pick a damn fight," Miku narrowed her eyes as she withdrew her hands, turning to open a bandage, "There. Now go clean up that nosebleed. It's stopped, but you're covered in dried blood."

Piko rolled his mismatched eyes, but stepped into the bathroom. Moments later, Miku heard her faucet come on, and soon after, Piko greeted her blood-free. Well, kind of. A few speckles could be found on his grey shirt, but that's only because Miku was looking.

"So, you going to tell me why you were crying?" Piko asked, leaning in the doorway between her bedroom and bathroom.

"Maybe later. I don't feel like thinking about it," Miku replied, crossing her legs and leaning on her arm.

"Alright, then. Thanks for the patch-up. I've got to go, though. See you tomorrow?" he asked.

"We'll see. If you happen to be alive," she smirked.

"Wiseass," was the one-word reply she received (and the one she deserved, really).

"Love you, too. Good night."

"Yeah, yeah. 'Night," he left, closing the door behind him. His footfalls could still be heard on the stairs, but the front door made no noise as the house became Piko-less. What an amazing way of describing it. That happened to be sarcasm, by the way.

Miku sighed once more, then began to prepare for bedtime. Maybe she would join Mikuo in front of the TV later, after a shower and her pajamas found their way onto her weary limbs. Yes, that would be a lovely way to end such a messed up day. Leaving all of this nonsense behind would be just blissful.

* * *

 

Miku awoke on that cold Saturday morning to the wide red eyes of Kasane Teto. Her immediate reaction included shrieking and shoving the girl off of her bed, onto the floor next to Akita Neru's feet. Needless to say, her heart was racing and her breath came and went rapidly.

"Told'ya to keep away," Neru smirked at the girl, who was rubbing her knee, which had colliding painfully with the floor.

"Oh, Teto-chan," the ever-kind voice of Megpoid Megumi joined them, sighing. Miku was a bit relieved that someone was in the room, besides just her and the crazy energy that was Teto. Or the sarcastic negative downer that was Neru.

"H-how did you three get in here?" Miku asked, wide eyed and real as anything. She wasn't acting. The sight of these three girls in her room had her in a state of raw shock. That fake stammer she used to appear innocent? Yeah, it seemed to be working against her for the moment.

"Your brother let us in," Neru answered, using her thumb to gesture at the door. Miku glanced up just in time to see a teal head whip out of sight, and uttered a few curses in her mind.

"You shoulda told us you had a hot brother," Teto grinned, standing and leaning against Neru, her arms wrapped around the shorter girls neck as she rested her chin on the blonde's shoulder.

Miku stared for a brief moment, preventing a scowl from forming on her face. Really, Teto could be irritating. No one made comments about Mikuo so casually. Not while Miku was in the room, and most definitely not to her face.

"W-well, that would've just been embarrassing!" Miku exclaimed blushing.

"Teto-chan, don't tease her," Gumi instructed quietly. Miku appreciated the effort, even if it was basically wasted.

"Silly Gumi, dear. She doesn't mind, right?" Teto released Neru and threw herself on Miku's bed, landing on hands and knees. In a moment of panic, Miku yanked her blankets up to cover her face. Her face burned, and even if it was fake, blushing made her feel so weak.

Miku had long since learned the art of acting. Blushing was easy; just think of embarrassing things or even things that made you angry. There was such a thing as an angry blush. Crying was harder. Miku could stand a lot without crying. But if she really, really had to, she could fake cry. The stutter had been harder to master. Miku had grown up learning to assert herself and that if a girl wanted to be taken seriously (or any person, really) she had to be willing to speak properly and intelligently. But, with some practice, the stutter had become almost second-nature. Why all this acting, you may ask? Simple. Anything was better, even being treated like some innocent, sweet, weak little girl, than being treated like the criminal she was.  _Anything._

"She minds," Neru stated blandly, dragging the drill-haired girl from the bed by her shirt. As the girl pulled her energetic friend from the room, she glanced back at Miku.

"Get dressed while I subdue this one. We're going out," was all she said, and shut the door as Gumi and an unwilling Teto followed her from the room.

And Miku let out a sigh. The sounds of footsteps on the stairs allowed her a moment of relaxation and bitterness. Those three (two, really; poor Gumi was dragged along as much as Miku was) girls never changed. Who gave them the right to pull Miku out on a Saturday? At – Miku had to check the clock for this complaint – nine in the morning?! Where did a teenager have to go at this time, anyway?

Miku released a hiss of irritation as she pulled her blankets off herself. Quickly, she stumbled into a rather frilly dark blue skirt lined with white lace (it was far cheaper than it actually looked) and a simple pale blue blouse. She would regret it, seeing as it was cold as  _hell_ out, but it kept with her image. The skirts and the frills, cutesy stuff like that. If she had her way, it would be jeans and loose t-shirts all the way. Maybe even the male uniform at school, because God knows that skirt was far too short. That did  _not_ qualify her as a cross dresser. That was Len's territory.

Biting her lip at the thought of the boy, she slid into a pair of cute boots from her closet. They were warm and lined with fur. Even Miku could appreciate them. She hurried with her hair, which wasn't as tangled as it could've been, and rushed from her room, almost reaching for her cell phone, an item not currently in her possession. A curse fell from her tongue, leaving the room with an angry chill to it as she sped from it.

She entered the living room to find Teto trying to death-hug Mikuo, who was cracking up. Gumi was nervously biting her lip as Neru put on a rather unamused expression. She was attempted to haul Teto to the door, and when her copper gaze fell on Miku, she immediately frowned.

"Help," she demanded, and Miku rushed over to stand between the three girls and Mikuo.

"Hatsune-saaaan!" Teto exclaimed, tackling the girl in a hug as she escaped Neru's death grip. Neru's lip curled in annoyance, but she refrained from helping Miku. The pigtailed girl could see the words she wanted to say floating in those narrowed eyes.

_Not worth it._

Well, screw you, too, Akita-sama.

Miku shoved Teto away. "Th-that's enough, Kasane-san. P-please, let's just leave now."

"Alright!" the ever bouncy girl replied with a burst of noise. She took (more like forcefully grabbed and yanked) Miku's hand, as well as Gumi's. The two girls burned red and shot each other looks of sympathy.

"Bye, Miku! Have fun!" Mikuo told her as she was given the chance to pull on gloves, a scarf and her coat as the three girls stood by patiently.

Oh, how she wanted to flip him off.


	5. Chapter 5

The sight of people walking past in the cold winter air made Miku feel even worse than she already did. Smiles were shared; hands linked together, sides were pressed close, warmth gifted to their loved ones. It was sickeningly lonely on the bench she had made hers, surrounded by the results of Neru and Teto's obsessive shopping. The three girls who held sway over her currently were in a nearby shop. Miku could see Gumi's worried eyes hesitantly glance to her every so often, but she wasn't allowed to come keep the girl company.

These girls had a strange relationship. It must have been the beginning of high school, ninth grade. The new students still stumbled around school, wide-eyed and amazed. Their elders giggled at them, smirks applying to most situations. On that day, Miku was no different from any other person. Over the long summer, after an unfortunate "accident" (it was no accident, but calling it one made her feel better) in her previous year of school, Miku had new resolve. She wouldn't hurt anyone. She wouldn't raise her voice or growl or let sarcasm run off her tongue ever again. Hatsune Miku would be a perfect girl. No one could hate her for being good and nice, and as long as she could remain so, everything would be okay.

Her plans were almost instantly destroyed. Four older students, eleventh graders, had heard rumors about this new student. News about her past and the particular "accident" she had been involved in circulated to them, and there was no way these four would pass up a chance at a girl like  _that._  They were tough, prided themselves on being unbeatable in a fight. If Miku was as they had heard, they would be forever admired for beating someone like her.

Unfortunately for both groups, Miku refused to fight. She ended up with a bruise or two, but before any real damage could be done, Neru and Teto had stepped in. Aside from Teto's insane introduction earlier (involving Gumi, if you have forgotten), Miku was unaware of their existence. It was a complete shock when Neru, a black belt in karate, and Teto, who was just plain crazy, managed to threaten the four older students until they left. This was around the time Gumi stepped in to patch Miku up. She had even applied makeup to the bruise that was yellowing and darkening around her eye, managing to cover it up fairly well.

But Neru was never one to be accused of generosity. There was a price for the help offered. Miku could remember the exact words said to her.

_"You owe us, Hatsune-san. And there's nothing much we need. Unless you happen to like carrying around the shopping."_

The beginning of a quasi-friendship. Miku supposed she could have been stuck with a worse group than the rag-tag few that made up the one she served. Although she didn't really have any real friends at school besides Piko, it seemed she could rely on Neru and Teto for protection if she really had to. It sometimes involved a lot of pride-swallowing, but Miku wasn't picked on anymore. And the three seemed rather protective, considering she was basically a servant. After a few incidents, guys at school no longer hit on her, and jealous rumors were never spread. Miku, at first glance, was a person to be jealous of. She was smart. Ranked #6 on the charts when it came to academics, which was impressive since there were around 300 students in her grade. She was pretty, maybe even cute, with a sweet, albeit fake, disposition. People tended to get jealous of her. Sometimes this made her laugh internally.

 _Oh, if only they knew the real me,_  was a thought often in her mind.

So that's what their relationship added up to. Three girls who held sway over the poor, bullied Miku. Maybe a friendship was still in the process of being built. But Miku always wondered, if they seemed to like her, particularly Teto, why had they never invited her over to their houses? Or just out for coffee? This led Miku to believe that they really didn't think of her as a friend; she was the girl who carried their shopping. So she would try to think of herself the same way. In a way, this was almost worse than anything she'd face without their protection. Imagine knowing the only people you interact with at school thinking of you as a modern day servant.

Yeah, that stung. And it was moments like these when she felt utterly separate from everyone else. When the three girls left her alone, it gave her a chance to sink her face into her hands and sigh.

People walking by occasionally gave the girl on her bench weird glances. After all, the shopping bags around her were an awful lot for just one girl. The thoughts on many people's minds were probably along the lines of  _Spoiled brat. No one needs so many clothes._

Miku wanted to ignore them, but there were so many people walking for such a horribly cold. That skirt had been a terrible idea. She should really-

"Hatsune-san?"

-consider buying skinny jeans. They were in style, after all. Who said girls like her only had to wear skirts? Skinny jeans were-

Wait, had someone said her name?

Miku glanced up, eyebrows instantly jutting across her forehead. It was Len, dressed in his usual girly attire. Miku was surprised to see him accompanied by two girls. One could be recognized from the concert. What was her name? Suzuki something. Aria, maybe?

It didn't really matter, anyway. She was once again faced with Kagamine Len, who she had no intention of being civil towards.

"Oh, do you know her, Lin-chan?" a girl with a rather odd hairstyle and a bland-looking expression tilted her head in mild interest. She was tall, maybe around five feet nine inches, with short purple hair and a thick jacket. Rabbit ears hung from the hood. Beside her, the Aria girl clung to her arm, a friendly smile placed on her lips.

"Ah," Len began, haultingly. His gaze found Miku's, which was her cue to stand and get straight in his face.

"Listen here,  _Lin-chan_ ," Miku said the name with contempt, spitting it off her tongue like poison, "I have no intention of acting kindly to you, so bug off before I really lose it."

Len stepped back, staring down at the shorter girl who was shooting flames from her eyes. He had never seen such bottled-up rage. A bomb waiting to be set off. That was the only way to describe Miku at this point. The look in her eyes made him almost regret messing with her.  _Almost._ Of course, it could just make everything more fun in the end.

He put on a fake pout that made Miku want to vomit. "Oh, Mi-chan, there's no need for such hostility."

Miku bristled.  _Mi-chan?_ What was that nonsense?

Miku allowed herself the pleasure of grabbing the collar of Len's shirt. Coat. Whatever.

"Here's an idea. It would be wonderful if I showed you what I got famous for a few years ago," she hissed. Len was clearly confused. Had he not held up his promise to find all her secrets? It appeared so.

"And you really don't want to learn about that the hard way," she growled directly in his face. His blue eyes widened a bit, but the surprise he felt was quickly covered up by a forced smile.

"Ah, Mi-chan, you're so cruel," he stated, a sigh breaking the air, "Whatever quarrel you have can be sorted out."

"No. No, it can't," Miku spat, gritting her teeth. She was once again in the verge of crying, and there was no way she'd allow Len to see her cry now. Or ever, for that matter. But  _God,_  she just felt so betrayed. It was like Kagamine Len's lies had polluted music itself. She couldn't stand to think that she had once been so impressed and awed by his talent. It was infuriating.

"So dramatic, really," he sighed again as if he were pained by the idea of drama.

"Excuse me, Hatsune-san, was it? I don't really know what's going on, but I think you should let her go," Aria put a gentle hand on Miku's shoulder. She was actually a bit short than Miku, but not by much. Height was important to the girl, so Miku usually noticed that first.

"Don't get involved in things that don't concern you!" Miku snapped, avoiding eye contact. She didn't like being rude to this girl. She seemed nice enough, but it was honestly just a reflex when Miku became angry enough. Aria jumped a bit, and the tallest girl in their group calmed her with a pat to the head. That was adorable, Miku had to admit.

"Mi-chan." That name. She really hated it. He shouldn't be allowed to ever call her that. "Mi-chan, you should calm down. Discuss this rationally," Len said, taking her hands in an attempt to remove them from his coat. Miku didn't budge, but when he touched her skin, her eyes narrowed as an electric shock was transferred. His hands, despite being gloveless, were warm and soft.

"Rationally? This is coming from you?" Miku demanded coldly, a sneer forming upon doll features, "I don't think anything you do is rational. Quite frankly, I don't think anything you do is human! You,  _Miss Lin_ , are a complete bastard! If I had the option, I'd leave you for the wolves! I'd let you rot in the most unholy, desolate reaches of the galaxy!"

The sudden shouts being blasted into the idol's face shocked him. Admittedly, he was both angered and frightened by these words that Miku screeched at him. But there was another feeling he couldn't seem to identify, and he didn't like it. The feeling made his chest ache and his heart race painfully. It prickled in the back of his mind, curling in on itself and ignoring his inner speculation.

 _It's pain,_  he suddenly realized as his eyes met Miku's. The feeling was reflected in Miku's eyes. He hadn't realized she was actually hurt. Her anger was a good cover-up.

"That's so childish," he scoffed, "It's a wonder you have any friends with an attitude and a temper like that."

And then Miku deflated. You could see it visibly. Her grip loosed on Len's clothes, her eyes dulled and eyebrows hung in a look of defeat.

Suddenly, a new hand was releasing Miku's fists from Len's coat, and the curious boy turned his head to see a new girl beside them. Miku recognized her, even if she didn't exactly care.

"Hatsune-san, it's best not to pick fights," Gumi scolded lightly, and was surprised when Miku pressed closer to her, as if asking for comfort. Len blinked in confusion.

"I apologize for her. I'm sure whatever reason she had for this is valid, but I'm sorry if you were inconvenienced," the green haired girl smiled shyly as Miku ducked her face out of sight, her back turned to Len as she leaned her head on Gumi's shoulder.

"Hey, Goomi-oomi! What's up with Hatsune-san?" Teto demanded as she approached the group, a vaguely annoyed Neru dragged behind, "Why'd ya leave the store? We were still in the changing room."

"It's nothing important," Gumi waved the girl's question away lightly, smiling back at the bouncy student. Teto accepted this answer and moved her gaze to examine Len. Miku saw all of this from the corners of her eyes as she was still relaxing her forehead on Gumi's shoulder.

"Yo, Len," Neru greeted, off to the side.

"Oh, hello, Neru. How are you?" he replied happily, turning his attention from Miku and the two strangers who were giving her far too much attention for the pigtailed girl's comfort.

This exchange caught the attention of the surrounding teens, who glanced over at the blonde pair.

"Ru-chan! Do you know her?" Teto asked from her position beside Miku and Gumi. She was stroking Miku's hair gently, and secretly Miku didn't mind, even if it was embarrassing.

"Yep. He's my cousin," Neru let a tiny smile appear on her face, a rarity that Teto found amazing.

"Ru-chan smiled!" she exclaimed happily, but a look of confusion crossed her face, "'He'?"

"That's right."

"What? Seriously?" Teto glanced from Len to Neru, then back again, "Ru-chan looks more like a boy than you do."

Neru clenched her fist. "Teto?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Teto smiled widely. "Alright!"

"Anyway, this is Kagamine Len, my cousin. Len, meet my friends. This is Kasane Teto and the other one is Megpoid Megumi. I assume you and Hatsune-san have already met," she gestured to each girl in turn, a bored expression placed on her face.

"Kagamine-!" Teto attempted to shriek before a hand was flung across her mouth. The hand belonged to Neru.

"Shh, you moron," Neru rolled her eyes, "You have no sense."

Teto issued a rare glare at the word "moron". However, she remained silent as Neru returned her attention to Len. "So, who're those girls? Friends?"

Len smiled in reply as he turned to the two girls he had approached Miku with. "This is Suzuki Aria and Yuzuki Yukari. They go to my school."

Gumi smiled warmly at the two. "Hello," she greeted, her voice shy and quiet. Despite the girl's clear discomfort, Miku refused to turn around and pretend she was fine. Nope. It wasn't happening. Even if Gumi felt weird, Miku was safe at the moment, and that's all she cared about.

"Hello, Megpoid-san, Kasane-san," the deeper voice of Yukari replied, and Miku shivered. That voice was very nice, actually. Sugar-sweet, but deep and serious, as well.

"Hi!" Aria added, happily. The two seemed so opposite. Aria was so bouncy and joyful, and Yukari was calm and collected. Or, at least, that's how the two had been so far.

"What are you doing down here? Shopping?" Len's question was directed at Neru, who willingly delivered an answer.

"Yeah. That major dance thing at our school is coming up, I guess. Gotta have some good outfits," Neru replied. Miku was confused, as she had no idea. When had this been announced?

"Oh? Really? When?" Len actually sounded a bit interested, "My school never has dances, so I would like to see what a school dance is like." So that's what it was about. Explains why he was even mildly interested.

"Around Valentine's Day. Lessee… Two weeks?" Neru shrugged, "I dunno. Teto's the one who's making me go."

"Tsundere. You totally want to go and have a romantic night with some boy," Teto exclaimed, poking Neru in the cheek playfully. Miku lifted her eyes a bit to see the reaction Neru had to this. To her surprise, Neru blushed ever so lightly, but covered her embarrassment with a cold glare.

"Not funny," she stated.

"Aw, Ru-chan! I'm just teasing!" Teto stuck out her tongue. Len snickered at his cousin's expense.

Gumi quietly tapped on Miku's shoulder as Len received a glare as well. Shyly, she whispered as to not draw attention, "Excuse me, Hatsune-san? I-I think you should probably move. You're acting a bit… odd."

Grudgingly, Miku lifted her head and turned to stand beside Gumi, gripping the slightly taller girl's arm, causing her to shift uncomfortably. It was nice knowing Gumi wouldn't scold her or insult her. Beside Gumi, she felt a bit safer.

"Where are you three headed now?" Aria asked, politely.

"We don't have any plans, really. Teto and I dragged Hatsune out for the day, and Gumi followed along," Neru replied, checking the time on her phone. It was a flip phone, which may be an older style, but she liked it, so there. Really, Miku learned not to talk about Neru's precious phone at all if there was any risk of insulting her "baby".

"It's 11:58, if anyone's interested in lunch," Neru blandly reported.

Teto clapped cheerfully. "Great! I think that would be fun!" She turned to look slyly at Len. "Besides, it will be so  _interesting_  to eat with an idol."

Aria agreed quickly and Len smiled his agreement, despite the almost hungry look Teto was giving him. Yukari smiled tightly at the exchange, and real amusement could be seen in her lavender gaze.

Miku wasn't exactly allowed to protest. Nor could she, as her throat still felt tight and constricted. Being around Len was driving her mad. Absolutely  _mad_.

Miku tried her hardest to force a smile onto her face and turned to Teto and Neru, who were arguing lightly about how Teto should treat Len.

"E-excuse me, Kasane-san and Akita-san," she began, and the two turned to her, "I'm afraid I have to leave for a previous engagement. I promised my brother I'd help clean up around the house today."

"Alright," Neru shrugged, "See ya, then."

It almost bothered Miku how easily her exit could be brushed aside, as if they wouldn't miss her company at all. Well, they wouldn't, but it was still a bit painful.

"Bye-bye, Hatsune-san! I'll text you later and bug you, okay?" Teto offered cheerfully.

"Hm," Miku gave the best reply she could before turning away and heading down the street. She left the shopping on the bench, and she didn't feel bad at all. After all, those stupid girls could carry their own things.

Before she could be completely rid of the group, however, she heard the voice of Kagamine Len call her to a halt. Grudgingly, with a malevolent stare and stiff limbs, Miku turned to face the idol as he ran to meet her many meters from the other four who still stood by the bench.

"Mi-chan, listen," Miku flinched at the name, "I'm sorry, alright? Let's try to get along a bit, since you're friends with Neru. I guess I misjudged you. All of Neru's friends seem to have good qualities."

Miku couldn't help but knit her eyebrows in confusion. What was this? Len was certainly impulsive.

"Go die in a ditch," Miku retorted, earning a sigh.

"Maturity is something you lack, you silly girl. But I'm really serious. I just wanted to mess you a bit for being so difficult. Didn't think you were so sensitive," Len muttered the last sentence quietly, as if he really was trying not to insult her. Miku took it as an insult anyway.

"Fine. You're mostly forgiven. I guess," Miku snapped, pressing her lips together and folding her arms over her chest.

"Alright! But the original deal stands! I just hope we can get along better now. Fewer insults and such," Len smiled warmly, and Miku couldn't help but find the smile attractive. Yes, he was dressed as a girl, but Miku didn't really think of him as a girl at all. She could clearly see his idol self underneath the pigtails and the girl's outfit.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye," Miku finally said her last farewell and turned, trudging through the snowy sidewalks as she left Kagamine Len behind to enjoy his afternoon with the other girls. And, no, she was definitely not jealous at the thought of them having fun without her! What would make you think that?!

As Len watched her retreating figure, he couldn't help the fond smile.

"Oh, Miku,"he whispered to himself, "I really hope I don't end up falling for that silly temper of yours. But that secret you have, what could it possibly be? So intriguing…"

He really didn't know what prompted him to say it, but it seemed to enough. Honestly, he liked girls with a bit of a temper. Key word being  _girls._  But that's a story for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Yeah, Lenny likes girls. He wants a date with Kaito for a specific reason. Which will be revealed later. In an actual chapter. Not an author's note.


	6. Chapter 6

The remainder of her weekend was spent in mild depression. Miku found herself thinking of none other than Kagamine Len at times when she thought she might finally be able to relax a bit. The whole situation bothered her to no end, and Mikuo, being the caring, intuitive person he is, seemed to sense his sister was having a hard time recently. He ignored this, knowing that if anything was seriously wrong, she would tell him. At least, he hoped she would.

As Monday arrived and passed with hardly an issue, Miku arrived at the end of her school day with a headache and a heartache. There was something very… Wrong. With Piko. He hadn't been at school that day. Even when he missed school, he always stopped by her house or walked her to school. It was just something he did. Why, she never knew, but he did it, and it was sweet. But today he hadn't shown up, either at her house or at school. And Miku was worried.

Miku immediately brushed off Teto with a less-than kind wave of the hand and half-assed excuse. Quickly, she packed up her textbooks and papers, shoving them into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. In her hurry she nearly tripped on her own feet on the stairs outside the front entrance. Luckily, she righted herself and set her jaw. Things seemed to be working against her today. Nothing unusual there.

However, it became worse as she noticed a certain "girl" standing at the front gate, holding out her watch and gazing at it in a very transfixed sort of way.

"Not today," Miku groaned quietly as she muttered to herself. There, in all his crossdressing glory, stood Kagamine Len, wearing the school uniform of wherever the hell he went. God, she didn't even remember.

"Hello, Mi-chan," he greeted, a bit warmly, even. A smile appeared on his face, and Miku's teeth pressed together in irritation.

"I don't have time for this today. Bug me tomorrow," she snapped, attempting to rush passed him and failing as he grabbed her arm. An older group of boys passing by snickered, and one even shouted at them.

"Having troubles with your girlfriend, Hatsune?" he called as his friends burst into laughter.

"I'll set Teto on you," she threatened and her harsh tone was enough to catch them off guard. They quickened their pace and hurried along.

Len rolled his eyes. "Morons. Anyway, I wanted to discuss some things with you. Like, how am I going to get close to Kaito-san? Have you thought about these things at all?"

Miku gritted her teeth as the familiar feeling of anger reared its ugly head inside her mind.

" _Look,_  Kagamine-san, I really don't have time for this. I'll deal with it tomorrow, but right now I really-"

"Are you still mad? That's so petty. I really am sorry, alright. Just… Help me, alright? It's important," Len told her. He had yet to release her arm and Miku had yet to care. It was obvious he wasn't going anywhere anyway.

"Fine," she let the word settle sharply into the air, cold and concise, "We can talk, but I have to go do something, and you better  _not get in the way._ " She stressed the last few words harshly, emphasizing her complete lack of amusement. Len agreed with a simple nod of his head and a smile that seriously bugged her, but the two began to walk away nonetheless, Miku setting a rapid pace a few centimeters ahead of Len. Piko's house wasn't too far away, but she didn't want to waste any time. Anything could be wrong, and she didn't trust him to be alright any more than she trusted herself to deal with the problem she would most likely encounter when she arrived at his house.

As they approached the beaten-down house that Piko lived in, Miku turned to Len, a glare fixed on her face.

"Wait here for a moment. I'll be right back," she ordered. Len made no move to disobey her. He remained in his place as she slipped across the sidewalk. He became confused as she avoided the front door completely, instead slipping around the side of the house and doing her best to keep as quiet as possible. Piko's room was at the back; a small window opened out onto the tiny backyard , right over the disheveled, dilapidated garden that lay in complete ruin. Long ago, Miku remembered the sweet strawberries that grew right below her feet. She and Piko ate so many, one after another disappearing into their smiling mouths. Those days…

She missed them.

Miku poked her head up to gaze into the window. Stupid Piko never closed his blinds, but it was so dark inside his room she couldn't make out a single thing. As her eyes adjusted, she blinked and finally managed to catch a glimpse of silver hair, fallen across the pillow on Piko's bed. So that's where he was.

Delicately, she tapped on the window, and Piko jumped. Suspiciously, he sat up and eyed the window. His narrowed eyes softened when he was Miku. She stuck her tongue out at him and he tried not to smirk. Quietly, he stepped up to the window. To Miku's surprise, he was shirtless and just as thin as he had always been. His skin was ridiculously pale, but bruises marred his stomach.

"Was wondering if you would show up," Piko told her as he slid the window open, leaning on the frame.

"Of course I would. Wanted to know if you were alright," she replied, staring up at him. He was leaning across his desk, his elbows resting on the edge of the window

"Thanks."

"Welcome," Miku smiled, "Now, come on. We don't have all day."

Piko sighed dramatically. "Alright. I'll meet you out front in a moment. Just go wait."

Miku nodded and turned away from the window, her pigtails catching on the dead weeds growing far too high. Even the snow couldn't suppress those vile plants.

Len was still in the same place Miku had left him, a quizzical look on his face. "What's going on?"

Miku didn't look at him; instead, her eyes were placed on the front door. "I'm bringing my friend along."

"A friend?"

"Yes, I have friends, for your information."

Len smirked. "I know you do. Your contact list in your phone isn't empty, after all. So I bet this is Piko-san, huh? Or 'Piko-kun'? With that cute little heart at the end?" He knew exactly how to get on her nerves.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded, burning up as she turned to glare at him.

"Oh, that's just what he's called in your phone," Len snickered lightly. Honestly, he was just teasing at this point, but she was so damn sensitive, even teasing got to her.

"Shut. Up," she replied flatly, gnashing her teeth into her lip. The name had been a joke, a tease directed at Piko, who used to be very shy around girls, including her. He had tried to wrestle the phone away from her, but to no avail. She had never changed the contact name to something less silly. Until now, it hadn't mattered.

"Touchy," Len told her, "That's what you are."

"Lovely observation skills you've got," she snapped.

Len faked a look of hurt. "Sarcasm is so mean, Mi-chan! I know deep in your heart you care for me."

"Good luck with that."

The two teens had been so immersed in their quarrel they didn't notice as Piko himself quietly exited the house, closing the door as if it might explode when it touched the doorframe. He couldn't help but smirk at the sight on his front walk: Miku, with her arms crossed and nose slightly upturned, facing away from a second, rather cute, girl who seemed to be doing her best to annoy Miku to no end. Piko imagined it wouldn't be too hard to accomplish.

"Ah! Piko!" Miku exclaimed when she saw him approach her and her companion. The sour, angry look immediately melted from her lovely features and she smiled at him. The girl accompanying her looked mildly annoyed as Miku went to take Piko's hand, a habit from childhood she still had. Despite her quick temper, she was still the sweet girl Piko had grown up around, and he knew he'd never forget that.

Miku failed to notice the look Len had adopted and focused on Piko. "Are you alright? You weren't at school today."

"Got in a fight with my stepdad again," Piko replied. He did look rather beaten, with a large bruise splashed against the pale skin on his cheek. Dark circles were present under his eyes, making him look like absolute hell. As far as Miku could see, there had been no blood spilled, but there was no excuse for Piko's state.

"I told you I'll take care of him," she resisted the urge to pout.

"No, Miku. You'll get charged with assault, you insane child," Piko replied, touched at her repeated offer but completely aware of the consequences. A few years ago, in middle school, he remembered, she had been involved in a lot of violence and barely managed to escape without an insane punishment. She probably wouldn't be so lucky if something like that happened again.

"And? He won't?"

"He's an adult. I think. He doesn't act like one," Piko replied, earning a snort from Miku and a look of confused look from Len, who had been all but forgotten, "But that's not the point. His word carries more weight."

"Adults are stupid," Miku stated, irritably.

"Aw, Mi-chan! You forgot about me, didn't you?" Len broke in, wrapping his arms around Miku's shoulders from the back and leaning his chin onto her right shoulder. Miku resisted a shriek and scowled.

"I did it on purpose," she snapped.

"So mean," Len pouted girlishly.

"She is," Piko agreed.

Len eyed him. "I guess we'll be able to get along, then."

Miku was fuming. She released Piko's hand and twisted away from Len, a look of annoyance eating at her. The two boys smirked at each other, sharing the same thoughts, even if they didn't know it.

_Miku's adorable when she gets mad_ , they both decided internally, one reluctantly, one confidently.

Unaware of this exchange, Miku curled her lip and turned away from the pair. "Alright, you idiots. We're going to stop back at my house."

No one argued as the petite girl led them down the street. They had about three blocks to walk, but in the cold it felt like more. Miku tucked her hands into her pockets and Len tightened his scarf around his neck, but Piko had the worst time. All he had to cover against the cold was a beaten hoodie, stained and frayed along the edges. Neither Miku nor Len had the heart to complain about their own discomforts when they saw the violent shakes racking Piko's thin frame.

When they arrived inside Miku's house, Mikuo greeted them.

"Yo, Miku. Oh, hi, Piko, Lin-san," the boy eyed the two as they shoved their shoes into the closet by the front door. Miku didn't offer an explanation and he didn't ask for one.

The three teens made their way to Miku's room, where Miku left them momentarily. She had gone to the kitchen to get an icepack for Piko's bruises, although she wasn't confident that it would help him. The two boys were left alone together for several minutes as Miku went to dig through the freezer.

"So," Piko began, despite his natural urge to remain silent, "We haven't been introduced yet. I'm Utatane Piko, Miku's childhood friend."

_So that's his connection, huh?_  Len thought, admittedly feeling only the slightest bit jealous of him. He teased Miku and she didn't seem to hate him. Maybe it was the perk of an old friendship.

"I'm Kagine Lin, Mi-chan's new friend! She's helping me with something!" Len replied with a bright smile.

"That's nice." Piko honestly felt no interest. As long as this Lin character was trustworthy, he had no problem with her being around Miku. Oh, if only he knew.

"You and Mi-chan seem close," Len couldn't help but pry. After all, he had promised to discover Miku's secrets, right?

"Oh. Yeah. We grew up together," Piko replied, settling onto his friend's bed. Lin had taken up residence of Miku's deck chair, so he really had nowhere else to relax. Unless he considered the floor. Which wasn't going to happen.

"That's what 'childhood friends' tends to mean," Len resisted the urge to frown. He hoped Piko wasn't going to be too difficult.

"Hm," Piko seemed a bit lost in thought, "We met in kindergarten. She was a lot different back then. Happier. More energetic."

"Mi-chan doesn't seem that sad. Just kind of angry," Len responded, offering his two cents.

Piko sighed, as if the words Len had said were the most depressing he had ever heard. "Oh, she's sad. When you're around her enough, you start to pick it up. Anger is easier then sadness. That's how Miku works."

Len was still confused. "Why would Mi-chan be sad? There's nothing extremely wrong with her life."

To the boy's surprise, Piko snorted, followed by a real laugh. "Then you don't know her very well yet. Keep beating at that shell of hers and you might discover what exactly is wrong with that girl."

Well. That wasn't helpful at all. He already knew Miku had some sort of secret. But for the life of him he couldn't guess what it might be. Obviously, it seemed a touchy subject.

Len remained silent as they waited for Miku. He felt awkward in the silence, but Piko seemed relaxed and at ease. What was up with that boy? He was weird. Len was also a bit intrigued by him, really. He seemed so apathetic towards him, but when he had been holding Miku's hand… No, there was something weird going on between them. He could tell Miku liked this boy. It was so obvious. The way Miku couldn't look at Piko quite straight, the way she stared at him when he turned away. That smile she got when he was close. It was so obvious. He couldn't believe she would act that way because of any boy. He was, dare he say it, envious. Yes, he had to admit his fondness for Miku was growing, bit by bit. But it was so clear what she thought of him that he knew they would never be real friends. It was a bit sad, but nothing to cry over. She just couldn't see how great he was, he guessed.

His own ego caused a smirk to grow on his face. Miku, who had entered just second before, as his inner monologue ran, eyed him, irritation springing into her eyes.

"What's so funny?" she demanded, handing the ice pack she had managed to find to Piko, who sat cross-legged on her bed.

"Oh, just a random thought," he told her, "Nothing important."

Miku seemed to agree, as she turned away from him and focused on Piko. "Alright, dude. Off my bed. Go hang out with Mikuo. Lin and I have things to discuss."

Piko allowed himself to smile. "Girl talk, huh? Why would I want to miss that?"

"Because I said so. Bye-bye." Miku forcefully dragged him to the closed door, opened it, and threw him out. They heard him laugh as the door slammed against him.

"So lady-like," Len scoffed, "Hey what's up with my name? Just 'Lin'? No honorific?"

"You'd know," Miku snapped, "And what's the point of an honorific if it isn't your real name,  _Kagamine-san?_ " The name was filled with as much spite as she could muster.

"Okay, okay. No need to act so defensive. Or mean. Seriously." Len brushed a lock of hair from his eye, crossing his legs beneath the long skirt that was part of his uniform. Normally, he'd have changed into his regular clothes by now, but seeing as he was at someone's house, he couldn't very well do that. Miku noticed, and admittedly cared a bit. She hated her uniform.

"Topic dropped. Now, what's the plan?" she asked, "You want a date with Kaito."

"You're supposed to help me come up with a plan," Len rolled his eyes as he tapped his fingertips against his knee.

"I know. I just wanted to know if you had any ideas," Miku replied, somewhat less irritably than before, "You're lucky I'm not asking you  _why_ you want a date with Kaito."

"I never said I wouldn't tell you."

Miku stared at him long enough for the silence to become very uncomfortable.

"Did you hear me?"

Miku shook herself out of her state of shock. "O-oh, yeah. I just… Expected it to be something private. Something you didn't want to share."

Len couldn't help but smirk; such respect for his privacy. It really was kind of her. Or maybe she didn't like getting mixed up in the affairs of others. Either way, she was a part of this nonsense now, so it wouldn't hurt for her to know.

"I'm quite willing to tell you. I'll do it now. In fact, it gives me the chance to clear a few things up," Len looked directly into Miku's eyes, conveying how serious he was. For once.

"So, Mi-chan, this is how it goes."

* * *

 

The day was nice. The air was fresh, a spring wind carrying the scent of newly-growing flowers and the sounds of birdsong. Grass perked up, green as green can be, soft underfoot as children ran shoeless through their yards, through parks, wherever. People were out and about, enjoying the lovely sights and the warm atmosphere. This didn't exclude a certain Kagamine, who found himself awkwardly traipsing about in a skirt. Yeah, _a skirt_. It was a recent acquisition, suggested by his sister, who had listened to his complaints of fangirls one too many times. If they bug you, she had told him, wear a disguised.

He had tried. Nothing worked, not for too long, anyway. But no one would  _ever_  suspect that the famous Kagamine Len would be caught dead in girls' clothes. That was the ingenuity of it, his sister stated. That's how the whole thing started, only a week ago. No one had caught him yet, but it was an insanely uncomfortable thing. He really didn't like dressing as girl. God, imagine if someone found out?

With these thoughts haunting him, Len found himself running an errand for her dear mother, who was sick. They were out of tea, if you can believe it. The Kagamine family  _always_ had tea.

The last thing he expected was to run into someone he knew.

As he finished paying for his items at the store (tea, honey, oranges for Rin, and cold medicine), he noticed a growing crowd outside the glass doors. Curiously, he tilted his head and decided to investigate.

The crowd mostly consisted of girls. Teenaged girls. A blue head stood out above the crowd, the height of the person it belonged to considerably more than the others around him. Len knew exactly who it was. Shion Kaito, his fellow idol. The boy who had helped him more than anyone else in the last year. Advice on dealing with fans, songwriting, what to do to help a sore throat after a concert, you name it. Kaito had even started teaching him the basics of bass, but neither expected Len to ever be any good at it. Len owed a lot to the boy, and wanted more than anything to be able to return the favor, though he doubted he'd be able to.

Shoving through the crowd, Len came out right in front of the blue-haired boy, who was busy fending off a pair of girls who wanted an autograph.

"Shion-sempai! It would mean everything to us!" they were saying, hope shining in lovely eyes.

"I'm sorry, girls. If I gave you autographs, I'd be obligated to give everyone an autograph. But I'm really flattered it matters so much to you." Kaito was smiling, not a trace of annoyance to be found on his handsome features. Len wondered if he should help the boy, but didn't want to run the risk of being noticed.

"Please, Shion-sempai?" one of the girls asked, so sweetly and innocently it almost made Len sick. Maybe her intentions were pure and she was just being flattering, but nagging fangirls were some of the most annoying things in the world.

"I'm really sorry, but-"

Len knew even Kaito had his limit, and he seemed to be approaching it, even if he wasn't showing it.

"Hey, you two! He already told you he can't. Hell, maybe his agent told him not to sign anything unless she was present, you never know," Len broke into the conversation forcefully, planting himself next to Kaito.

"Actually, that is the case," Kaito smiled apologetically at the put-out crowd, "I really am sorry, everyone! But I'm glad I got to see you all! It's great for an idol's ego to meet fans so often."

The crowd cheered, with a few shouts of "What ego?!" ringing in Len's ears. Without a moment of hesitation, Len grabbed Kaito's wrist and dragged him away, off to hide somewhere away from fangirls.

When the two stopped, they found themselves outside a large clothing store. They were at the back, outside by the loading area. As far as Len could figure, it was a Wal-Mart.

"What the hell are you doing out without a disguise? Huh? Don't you have sunglasses or a wig or _something?!_  Or do you like fangirls attacking you left and right?" Len demanded, panting a bit.

Kaito put on a very stupid smile and looked a bit sheepish. "Well, I guess I didn't feel like it today. I just broke up with my girlfriend and I haven't really been thinking very well."

"Girlfriend, huh? The fangirls will love that," Len said, sarcastically.

"Well, it's over now. Besides, they like celebrity relationships," Kaito laughed, "Girls are strange."

"Tell me about it," Len said in a moment of complete stupidity.

Kaito looked confused. "But aren't you a girl?"

Len mentally cursed himself out. He had forgotten exactly _what_  he was wearing.

"Yeah, but girls are still weird," he tried to cover his mistake. Luckily, Kaito went along with it.

"Yeah," Kaito laughed a bit, "It's nice someone understands. Anyway, thanks for helping me. I wasn't sure what to do."

"You're welcome. You know, you don't have to be nice to everyone," Len replied, smoothing down his rumpled clothes. He normally wouldn't do something like that, but it seemed like a girly thing to do.

"Yeah, I know. But I figure it makes up for all the horrible people around here," Kaito told Len, revealing a smile that was a bit sadder than his others.

Len was caught off-guard by this answer. He figured Kaito was constantly lost in his world of ponies and sparkles, where everyone was nice. It was like bad people didn't exist to him or something, like he had never known a bad day or harsh words. Or so Len had decided throughout his time with the older boy.

"That's… You're a very nice person, Ka – Shion-san," Len was at a loss for what else to say. What can you say when your perception of someone is forever altered?

"Thank you," Kaito responded, "I'm glad someone thinks so."

"W-well," Len thought of a way to escape the situation, "I-I have to go. My mother needs help with something." And it wasn't a lie. His mother was pretty sick.

"What a girl you are. Standing up for idols and helping your mother," Kaito teased lightly with a smile upon his face.

Len turned red. Whether it was because he wasn't used to being called a girl or he was actually embarrassed, he didn't know.

"I just… Have nothing to say," Len muttered.

"I do. I like you, strange girl. I hope to meet you in the future," Kaito decided. And as they parted ways, Len hoped just the opposite. However, it didn't work out that way.

Several weeks later, Len found himself once again in the company of Shion Kaito, once again in a situation where he was dressed as a girl, once again reluctant to talk much with the boy for fear of discovery. The two met in a park, this time by and ice cream truck. Kaito had the sense to wear a decent disguise; glasses with thin wire frames and a brown wig. He looked different enough that Len was surprised to be approached by him.

"Hello," the taller idol greeted. Len wasn't exactly surprised to see an ice cream cone in his right hand. The idol had just stepped out of line in front of Len, who was now waiting for his own cone.

"Oh. Hello. It's Shion-san, correct?" Len asked, as innocently as possible.

"Ah. Yes. It's weird to have someone call me Shion-san. It's usually 'Kaito-sempai'," Kaito looked a bit embarrassed.

"Unlike other girls, I know how to be proper," Len stated curtly, "But it's nice to see you, Shion-san." He was lying through his teeth. More than anything else, he wanted to turn and run like a bat out of hell.

"You, as well. I honestly wanted to see you again. I think it's because I might be developing a bit of a crush on you, honestly," Kaito admitted, allowing a light blush to dust his cheeks.

"Oh?" Len managed to say, despite the rapid beating of his heart. _Well, this is awkward…_

"If you can believe it. Sometimes, you just meet someone and they stick with you for a while, you know? I was hoping for a chance to ask you out," Kaito couldn't meet his eyes. If Len was a girl or attracted to guys, he might find this cute. But it was just weird to have his friend, no, his mentor  _unknowingly confess._  Really. He couldn't believe it. He felt as if he were suffocating.

"Didn't you just break up with your girlfriend?" Len clutched into this fact like he was drowning and it was the lifeline back to shore.

"Well, yeah…"

"I'm sorry, Shion-san, but maybe it's just that. I know people often get into relationships that immediately fail after breakups. I think you should wait until you are certain of how you feel," Len stated, his heart in his throat. The look on Kaito's face just about killed him. That pathetic puppy look. But it was so  _weird._  And explaining this situation to Kaito would be so  _awkward._  That pride of his was such a bothersome thing.

Kaito accepting this answer, however. He promised that, eventually, when they saw each other again (not  _if_ ,  _when_ ), he'd definitely feel the same. That he would try again. And that he wouldn't forget his "love at first sight". And when he left, Len felt like dying. That look, that last look of complete rejection had shaken him to the core. And when he got the chance, he would give him a better explanation for turning the boy down.


	7. Chapter 7

Miku was shocked. That was the word for it. Completely and utterly shocked.

"So,  _Kaito's in love with you?!"_  Miku demanded, still trying to process what she had been told.

"Kaito's in love with Kagine Lin," Len corrected, "That's the point. I want the chance to take him on a date and explain everything to him. I owe him that, at least. He's helped me so much."

Miku felt her own heart fall into her gut. This situation was ridiculous. Well, most of the situations she ended up involved in were.

"But-" Miku tried to organize her chaotic thoughts, "That doesn't make any sense. Love at first sight? Kaito has always been a bit of a romantic, but… Just…" She really didn't have any words to use that would describe how her thoughts were running. Kaito had a crush on Lin, who was actually Len, who was a boy, but Kaito obviously didn't know that, because Miku knew he liked girls…

Gah. Screw logic.

"It's weird, I know. But I really just need the chance to tell him," Len said, avoiding Miku's quizzical eyes.

"Why can't you just tell him as a boy?" Miku demanded.

Len actually blushed as he muttered the next sentence. "I have more confidence dressed as a girl."

Miku didn't laugh. Normally, that kind of thing would make her laugh. But not then.

"Len, that's…" Miku trailed off, finding nothing to say. She didn't even realize she had used his first name.

"I know. I feel so horrible," Len murmured, "Kaito's such a nice person, and I feel like I've really hurt him. I don't want to give him anymore false hope."

Miku thought that this was actually kind of a mature decision. Granted, Len had waited a long time to face his problem, but he didn't seem to be denying his part or trying to run away. Then again, this was Kagamine Len she was think of, so what did she know?

"Okay," Miku sighed, "Now that you've told me why you want a date with Kaito, I'm a bit more willing to help you. At least, I don't think you have a stupid reason." _And it's obvious he feels bad, so I'm not even going to get angry. Even if he is a complete moron._

"Thanks, Mi-chan. I'm glad," Len raised his head to smile warmly at her. His eyes had been fixed firmly on her carpet before this action, and Miku nodded once to show she understood him. His situation. How he felt. All of it.

"So, how do you want to get a date with him? Because, honestly, you could just call him up right now," Miku suggested.

"Th-that would be suspicious! Besides, he has both my number and your number, so whose phone would we use?" Len stuttered. Miku rolled her eyes, though he had a point.

"We could just arrange for a chance meeting. I'm sure Kaito would just ask you out in a case like that. Honestly, you could've done that without me," Miku muttered. Len had to admit she was right, too. But there was one thing he hadn't told her.

"Kaito told me a lot about you, both when you were together and after you broke up. I guess… I just wanted to make sure you couldn't hurt Kaito," Len bit his lip at the confession, "But I guess I just felt like I need someone to help me, make sure I didn't run away from what I should do. When I ran into you, I just took the opportunity. It's not like I intentionally searched for you."

Miku eyed the blond oddly. Suddenly, he didn't seem quite so threatening or terrible to be around. At least, he seemed to understand how Kaito worked. "Well, we can both agree Kaito's too damn nice for his own good. Now, let's get to work. Arranging an accidental meeting will be easy enough. I just have to call him up and-"

"But he might think you have something to do with it if you do that! What if he gets mad?" Len interrupted. The point was valid.

Miku shook her head. "Kaito never gets mad at me. But… He might if we end up breaking his heart."

Len turned red, and pulled his knees p to his chest, even though he was still seated on Miku's desk chair. "Now I feel worse. Thanks."

"Oh, I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind. Quit acting like a wimp," Miku snapped, then soften her tone a bit, "How about we go bug Mikuo for some tea? I'm sure it will make you feel better to relax and drink something warm."

Len nodded in agreement, unwinding his arms from around his knees and standing up, following Miku out of her room and down the stairs. He couldn't help the next words that escaped his lips.

"Thank you, Miku. You're… Actually very helpful. I'm so grateful," he whispered, and instantly wanted to die yet again. It was so embarrassing to admit he might actually need someone else, especially someone like Miku. Even though the two were finally starting to warm up to one another, Len didn't think they had enough in common to be friends. Maybe just "friendly". That's all he could hope for.

Wait, what? Hope? For some sort of  _relationship_  between them? For friendship and cooperation? That was absurd. And he knew it.

"Um, you're welcome," Miku replied, confused.

The two entered the kitchen, where Mikuo and Piko were seated at the table, a teapot and four cups placed on the dark, wooden surface.

"Figured you'd come down soon enough for tea," Mikuo smirked in amusement.

"Well, thank you very much, Nii-san," Miku told him as sarcastically as she could. The siblings shot matching smiles to each other and laughed. Piko and Len watched this exchange silently.

"I didn't know girls' talk lasted so long," Piko stated, sipping his tea delicately.

"They last as long as girls want them to," Mikuo replied, receiving a flick to the forehead from Miku as she reached over the two boys to get her tea. She handed Len his cup, which was still warm and steaming. He wrapped his hand around the cup, letting his palms and fingers soak up the warmth.

"Thank you, Mikuo-san," Len told the boy, smiling delicately at his elder.

"No problem," Mikuo waved away his thanks with an equally gentle smile.

"It's nice to see you getting along so well again," Miku told her brother and the silver-haired Piko, "You two interact a lot less lately."

"Blame him," Mikuo smirked as he brought his own cup to his mouth, "He's the one who never visits."

"True," Piko admitted.

"Well, in any case, Piko needs to be here more. You used to come over for dinner every day," Mikuo sighed as he remembered the days his little sister and her friend did everything together. They fit so well, the ever-confident and bubbly Miku dragging shy Piko with her wherever she felt they needed to be, and wherever they needed to be tended to involve mud or paint or something just as messy. He liked those two better back when Piko hadn't been so cold-hearted, back when Miku smiled so much more. Ah, well. They seemed happy enough now.

Once again, the line "if only he knew" fits quite well, doesn't it?

"As long as you don't let Miku cook ever again. Ever. I'm not kidding," Piko warned. They all laughed; even Piko smirked a bit. Len didn't find it at all surprisingly that Miku couldn't cook.

"Only Mikuo cooks," Miku reassured her friend, smiling brightly.

_Only Mikuo cooks. Did that mean their parents don't?_  Len wondered.  _Well, come to think of it, I've never seen their parents. Do they live alone? There's no way teenagers can afford a house like this._

He didn't feel like asking at the moment. The question would probably break the happy mood in the room, and Len didn't want that. Seeing Miku smile… It was nice.

Len's face burned as he realized what he had been thinking. His thoughts focused on Miku far too much for his liking lately.

"Good," Piko told them, and Miku rolled her eyes.

"Are you staying for dinner, Piko?" Mikuo asked, "It's about time for me to start it."

Len glanced at the clock and noticed how late it was getting. Almost 5:30. He should be getting home.

"I guess," Piko shrugged.

"Excuse me," Len gulped down the last of his tea, and the liquid burned a bit as it went down, "But I have to leave. My sister might get worried."

"Oh, that's right. You have a sister. I keep forgetting," Miku said, "Say hi to her for me, will you?"

"Alright. Goodbye, Miku, Mikuo-san, Utatane-san," Len told them all, making his way to the front hall to slip his coat and shoes back on. In a last effort of mild stupidity and trust, he slid Miku's phone from his pocket and placed it on a plant stand that sat beside the front door. There was nowhere else to put it, really, and the object was basically useless as a hostage now. Besides, Len felt confident Miku would help him now, especially if he showed he trusted her. Which he did. To a certain extent. Later, the pig-tailed beauty would find the phone and smile ever so slightly. But she would never admit it to anyone. Especially not Len.

Len left quietly, and decided not to call his chauffeur. Walking home was alright. It gave him a chance to think.

As he set off, his thoughts turned to Miku. He didn't know what it was about her that made her so important to him. It was clear he liked her, at least a bit. No, not like that. But he appreciated her and he liked her company. She was pretty and fiery, with a temper that sometimes annoyed Len to no end. But the way she had acted when she had heard his story…

She was so kind and understanding. Sure, there had been a few comments that hadn't been, but that was the most kindness she had shown him yet. It goes to show even the angriest and most unhappy person can be genuinely kind to someone who needs it, whether they actually like that person or not. Yes, Miku was kind, Len decided. It was just a side of herself that she didn't use too often. Maybe she just didn't need to use it. Maybe she liked being angry—No, Len didn't think that was the case. She was confusing, that was for sure. He wanted to know what made her tick, and what this secret she had was. He hoped she would be the one to tell him; after all, he had just revealed an important secret to her. But he knew that, whatever her secret was, he couldn't hate her for it. He just knew it.

* * *

 

Miku found herself in a good mood the next day. Maybe it was because of her unspoken truce with Len, but something had eased the tension she felt. She was glad; being so stressed was doing horrible things to her sleep patterns.

Miku cheerfully greeted both Teto and Gumi as she came into the classroom the next day. The girls exchanged looks as Miku hummed her favorite tune, preparing her supplies for class. Pencils? Check. Textbooks? Check. She had all her notebooks, her lunch, everything she needed.

"Hatsune-san?" Gumi asked tentatively.

"Yes, Megpoid-san?" Miku waited patiently for the girl to ask what it was she wanted.

"You seem… Cheerful. Did something happen?" Gumi blinked large, inquisitive eyes at the pig-tailed girl. Miku laughed brightly.

"Oh, nothing important. I guess I'm just in a good mood," Miku replied in the sort of voice that made angels envious.

Teto let loose a squeal of joy. "Oh, I know why you're so happy! Does it have something to do with  _love?_ "

If Miku had been drinking something, she would've gagged. She blinked rapidly as her attention was diverted to Teto.

"N-no!" Miku exclaimed, her stammer as real as real can be.

"Ah, see, Goomi-oomi?! She blushed! It's love!" Teto swooned teasingly, her hands placed delicately over her heart, "Don't worry, Hatsune-san! We'll support you no matter what!"

Gumi couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. "Oh, Teto-chan. Don't embarrass her. If she wants to tell us, she will."

_Megpoid Megumi, you are a godsend_ , Miku thought as Teto pouted. Gumi gave her an apologetic smile.

"Go ruining my fun," Teto muttered, "I'll return the favor." Teto sighed dramatically before turning away from the two girls. She left and went to her own desk, where Lily proceeded to poke her repeatedly in the back with her pencil. Gumi said a farewell to Miku and went to her seat as well.

_Was I really acting so odd?_  Miku asked herself,  _Don't I ever act happy? I smile a lot. I make sure to laugh. What's so weird about me being happy?_

She couldn't really answer these questions. She didn't even know why she was happy. It was just a good day, she supposed. Yeah, that must've been it.


	8. Chapter 8

Miku's next encounter with Len didn't occur until Wednesday afternoon. She was completely and utterly shocked to find the idol dressed as a  _boy_  and standing outside the gates. He hadn't yet drawn too much attention to himself, but it wouldn't be long before he did. And when that happened, Miku didn't have any intention of being anywhere near him.

She rushed up to him quickly, just about throwing her own coat over his all-too-familiar face, even though it was cold enough to be her own personal hell.

"What the  _hell_  are you thinking?!" she hissed at him, glancing around and speaking quietly. Girls were already glancing over curiously.

"I didn't feel like going to school today. Played hooky, so I never ended up dressing like a girl. Honestly didn't feel like it," Len replied casually, as if he hadn't just done an insanely stupid thing. Miku growled.

"We need to come to an understanding. You don't do stupid shit  _like this_  and I won't be angry all the time," Miku declared as quietly and as forcefully as possible. Len chuckled.

"I don't really care if I'm seen. It's been months since I went out as a boy. Minus the concert," Len told her. Miku didn't have the heart to respond the way she wanted to so she kept her mouth shut.

"But being seen around me isn't a good thing," Miku finally said, quietly. So quietly, in fact, that Len had to strain his ears to hear her.

"No one cares about who I'm with. There aren't any reporters around here, anyway," Len reassured her, a smile slipping gently onto his face. "Let's go."

"Go where? Where are you taking me, Kagamine?" she demanded as he placed a hand firmly on her back in an attempt to push her forward.

"Out of the cold, for one. Now shush and follow me," Len instructed, winking. Miku bristled, but decided to go along with whatever the blond was concocting. The two walked side by side in the cold winter air, breath fogging the spaces in front of their faces frostily.

"You're certainly feeling confident," Miku replied as his arm fell back to his side, away from her.

"Yeah, well. I feel better dressed as a guy. Less awkward, I guess. Not that it's any of your business," Len replied coolly. His smooth voice clearly portrayed how much the fact didn't matter, but Miku was sure the difference between Kagamine Len and Kagine Lin was significant, at least to Len. After all, Len didn't seem to enjoy cross-dressing. It was all to escape his fans. Miku wasn't even sure he really liked his fans now. Maybe he held some secret hatred for them, and that's why he wanted to hide. Well, it was a possibility. And don't forget that Miku herself had been a fairly avid ( _avid_ , not  _crazy_ ) fan of the idol. And wasn't she still? He was so talented; pissing her off to no end wouldn't change that. Hanging out with him wouldn't change that.

Len was confusing. That's all Miku really knew about him anymore.

Well, actually, he was also super attractive.

Miku wished she could punt herself upside the head as the two turned down the street. Unwanted thoughts had a way of delivering this feeling straight to her. In any case, Miku was still unaware as to where they were going. Knowing Len, it would be stupid, but acceptable. Or she'd absolutely hate it. Either way, she was stuck following the boy. Maybe she'd enjoy herself.

…No, she wouldn't.

Sighing at her pathetic inner monologue, she turned her attention to Len, who looked down at her in response. She found herself far too close to him for her own comfort and inched away as they walked, wondering if he noticed. Maybe, but it wasn't like he cared.

"I thought the reason you wanted a date with Kaito was because you're more confident dressed as a girl," Miku replied. She did remember him saying something like that.

"I'm more comfortable around girls when I'm dressed as a guy. I'm better off telling Kaito-san who I really am dressed as a girl. I'll even tell you a secret," Len leaned across the few inches that distanced the two to breathe into her ear, "I'm better at talking to guys dressed as a girl."

Miku snorted, suppressing real laughter. "You do realize how that sounds." She offered a skeptical look, but deep down, Miku was amused.

Len set a grin on his face. "Yeah, well. I guess I'm just strange, because I'm not gay."

"And why should I care what you are?" Miku replied.

"You don't have to. But isn't it a girl's dream to have a gay best friend?" Len teased, tilting his head at just the right angle to look absolutely perfect.

_I'd settle for just having a best friend sometimes,_  Miku thought, but kept this to herself. Instead, she rolled her eyes and huffed. "Don't group me with everyone else, Kagamine-san."

Len couldn't help agreeing as she ignored what he had just said entirely.  _Miku as my best friend? Pff, yeah. No, thanks._

But the fact that she didn't jump at the suggestion, or even hit him or something, was odd. What went on in that girl's head? He wanted to know; after all, she was weird enough on the outside.

"Alright, Kagamine. Where are we going?" Miku demanded, "I'm starting to get really cold."

"Want me to warm you up?" he suggested, earning a glare that made him smile, "Oh, it's nowhere far. We're visiting Rinny at work. She's been wanting to see you, because you're literally the only person who has hung out with her in years. I think she likes you."

Miku eyed Len. That was certainly strange and sudden. Nevertheless, Kagamine Rin seemed to be a decent enough person. Miku had yet to witness any insanity on the blond girl's part, and quite frankly doubted she had a screw loose at all.

"Where does your sister work?" Miku asked, mildly interested despite herself.

"Nothing interesting. She's just a waitress. Or a babysitter, maybe. Or-" Len cut himself off, looking confused, "I don't actually know. She keeps getting fired for, ah, things…"

Miku could suppress a giggle. Well, maybe the girl was different, after all.

"Then how do you know where we're going?" Miku asked.

Len grimaced. "I'm hoping she didn't get fired in the last few days." He seemed surprisingly serious, so Miku held back her second giggle.

Silence let itself hang over the pair, allowing the two to settle into a comfortable pace. Miku was hyperaware of her hand as it brushed Len's coat, hoping he didn't notice or care. She tried to keep an even distance between them, not too close or too far. Too close would get her teased. Too far would get her teased. Besides, Len was warm. She liked being next to someone in such cold winter air.

The silence lasted such a long time, Miku was completely shocked when she heard her name. She turned, knowing the voice and who it belonged to, unsurprised to see Piko following the two.

"Hey, Piko," Miku greeted, "Did you follow us?"

Piko let her have an unashamed grin. "Miku, you're walking around with a strange guy. Of course I followed you."

"All the way from school?"

Piko nodded, and Miku was surprised, if not mildly embarrassed. She sent him a look of exasperation, but her heart warmed all the same.  _He cares who you spend time with,_  she thought happily, _Is he possibly jealous?_

It was a stupid thought, but it made Miku happy all the same. However, she quickly remembered Len, and turned to him. He looked annoyed. No doubt because he had been forgotten.

"Now who's sour?" she smirked.

Piko glanced to Len, unsurprised that he actually happened to be Kagamine Len, the famous idol, as well as unfazed that he stood beside Miku. Instead, he sized him up, running a careful eye over him.

Now, Miku knew that Piko wasn't very familiar with Kagamine Len. Heck, he barely knew the name, and even then, Piko only knew such a thing because of her obsession with the idol's music. But Piko was observant. He never forgot a face after he saw it. He had the same ability to recognize a voice. If anyone could connect Lin and Len after one meeting with both, it would be Piko. Her breath caught for a tense moment, but she relaxed when Piko glanced back to her.

"He's that one idol, right? The one you fangirl over?" Piko seemed bored by the conversation already. Miku wasn't surprised. He always put on such a fake persona around other people, boys especially. As if caring would make him seem weak or stupid. It bugged her to no end sometimes.

"Th-that's, well… Yeah," Miku admitted, blushing and avoiding the eyes of both males.

"Thought so. Nice to meet you, Kagamine-san," Piko offered half-heartedly.

"And you, too," Len's smile was clearly forced. What was wrong with him? Did he not like Piko? He acted civilized at their last meeting. Well, he did talk to guys differently when dressed like one, according to him.

"So, are you going to keep following us or join us?" Miku asked, raising an eyebrow. This was a skill Piko had always been a bit jealous of.

"Whichever, Miku. Depends on what you want," Piko told her.

Miku didn't even pause. "Alright, come on. That alright with you, Kagamine?"

Len nodded in the same half-hearted way Piko had. Miku decided not to bother figuring out the interactions between boys. They were just weird.

The three continued together, Miku in the middle, walking ever so slightly closer to Piko. All three of them noticed, but didn't bring it up. Eventually, Len led them up to a small café, pulling the doors open to reveal warm colors and scents. Coffee coasted into Miku's senses. She could smell it,  _taste_  it. Warmth flooded against her, knocking against her cheeks, worn red with cold. The floor was hard wood, dark and clean. The walls were a warm orange, paintings and photographs hanging on display in an attempt at sale. The front window was large, bearing the name of the shop in elegant red font. In one corner, two couches and an armchair, all red leather, sat facing a sturdy coffee table. On the other end of the café, tables were arranged in no pattern whatsoever, only a few occupied by people. Against one wall, a lovely piano was settled beneath a large photograph of a mountain range. It was a cozy place, warm and welcoming.

"Kagamine-san works here?" Miku asked, and Len seemed confused for a moment. Realizing his companion was referring to his sister and not him, he smiled and nodded.

"It's a nice, little place. I'm shocked she still has her job," Len smirked, and earned a muffin the head. It may have been wrapped in saran wrap, but the hilarity wasn't lost on Miku or Piko as the two stared in disbelief, then proceeded to explode into laughter.

The culprit was none other than the short blond behind the counter, who they had yet to notice. Rin held a superior look, tossing a second muffin in her hand as she leaned across the counter.

"Brother, dear. Respect you're older sister," she smiled innocently as Len eyed her cautiously. The siblings stayed in a silent battle of wills, fought with their eyes, until Len gave in.

"No more muffins, you insane child. I brought a peace offering." Len took hold of Miku's shoulder, spinning her in front of him. Rin squealed and, to everyone's shocked, jumped the counter to rush to them.

"Miku-san! Hi!" Rin greeted, bouncing on the spot she had found before Miku and the two boys.

"Hello, Kagamine-san," Miku replied. A look of distaste settled onto Rin's adorable features.

"No, that won't do! Call me Rin-san! Rin-san!" the tiny girl exclaimed, then paused for a moment of thought, "But since I'm older than you, it could also be Rin-sempai. I'm okay with that, too."

Miku resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "No, Rin-san is acceptable." Calling a girl like Rin by a name with any sort of admiration implied wasn't something Miku could ever imagine doing.

"Alright!" Rin beamed, "Do you three want coffee?"

"No," Len told his sister. Miku shook her head, but Piko offered a different answer.

"Sure. If it isn't a bother," he seemed to be resisting a smile, and  _was that a blush she was seeing?!_

Rin let him have her sunshine smile as she rushed to prepare his drink. "I don't know what you want, so I'll guess!"

Miku couldn't resist a snort of amusement, but cut herself off when she noticed Piko's pale cheeks turn the lightest pink she had ever seen. The boy's eyes trailed after Rin, soft and focused. Maybe Piko didn't notice what he was doing, but Len and Miku sure did. Len let his own gaze slip to Miku, who had a frown plastered on her mouth.

_Interesting development we have here,_ he decided,  _If that blush of Piko's is any indication, he seems to be falling for my crazy sister. Love at first sight is collecting around me lately._

Miku's thought were less straight-forward. She chose that, for now, she'd ignore that  _look_  Piko had. That sweet, entranced look that she had never seen on his face for any other person besides her. And even then, she only got smiled, laughs. This was a look of awe and adoration. She didn't like it.

"You three should sit down! The couches are really comfortable!" Rin told them as she busied herself with whatever drink she was preparing.

"What, do you sleep on the job or something? You shouldn't be relaxing on couches at work," Len scolded, but followed her advice, dragging Miku by the elbow. She yanked lazily out of his grip, offering a dark scowl. Clearly, she was in a foul mood now. Even Len didn't want to push his luck.

"Do you want another muffin, brother dearest?" Rin sang, letting her eyes narrow and her smile widen. Len vigorously shook his head, blond ponytail spinning strands of hair through the air.

"Thought as much," the girl laughed brightly.

* * *

 

Miku was thoroughly miserable when she arrived at home. Len had walked her to her door in the absence of Piko, who had remained at the coffee shop far past the time she and Len had. That blush he was developing never left, even as Miku glanced one last time through the café window. The sight of Rin and Piko talking and standing much, much too close together had prompted a quick whirl of the head in an attempt to ignore the scene she had witnessed. Her heart tightened with each step she took beside the blond idol as they got farther away from that café, farther from Piko and Rin, who had been left alone.

Miku wasn't ignorant. She wasn't going to lie to herself either. Piko clearly liked Rin. It didn't matter how she felt, but she thought Piko had returned her feelings. They had always been so close. Miku was the only one who could help Piko smile and laugh, the only one who held his hand and feel asleep next to him on the couch when they stayed up late watching a movie. She was the one who stole food from his plate playfully. He was the one who put snow down her back. He was the one who teased her about her cooking, her non-existent ability to apply make-up beyond mascara, her height. It wasn't fair.

But what could she do? Some high school crush; it would never be worth ruining a friendship over. No, she couldn't ever abandon Piko because he didn't feel the same. After all, they loved each other. Just… Not the same way.

Len seemed to notice her decline as they walked home. The slouch in her shoulders. The drag of her feet. Her eyes had become progressively dull as they continued, the same way the sun had lost its height in the sky over their heads. Sunset wasn't far off as Miku opened the front door, unaware of what she might face as she kicked away her shoes.

"Bye, Mi-chan. I'll bug you tomorrow," Len offered, grinning. She slammed the door, letting the noise ring inside her own skull.

"Shut up, Kagamine," she muttered, allowing her mood to completely deteriorate into a state of depression. She was cold, she was hungry, and she was still in her stupid uniform. With these complaints in mind, she shoved her shoes into the closet and turned into the living room, which lead into the kitchen. She failed to notice the light was on, attempting to hit the switch anyway. The fact it didn't change anything, let alone the room's lighting, didn't register in her brain as Miku crossed to the fridge, pulling out a leek. Her comfort food. However, something finally registered in her mind as she turned and noticed the person sitting at the table, her laptop placed before her. Eyes similar to Miku's own green pair turned to stare at the girl.

"Hello, Miku," the woman greeted.

Miku managed to choke out a single word.

"M-mom?"


	9. Chapter 9

Miku couldn't control the quiver in her gaze or her voice as she repeated that single word, this time with slightly more certainty.

"M-mom," she stated, blinking hesitantly at the woman who sat at the kitchen table.

"You've said that already, Miku." Her mother's face was bland as always, making Miku unsure as to whether she cared for the conversation at all. Probably not. The woman didn't come here to make idle chit-chat with her daughter. A daughter she didn't get along with very well.

"What are you doing here?" Miku asked, unable to hide her confusion and even the slight panic that was becoming more evident upon her doll-like face.

"This is  _my_  house, too," the woman replied in a tone you could almost describe as cold.

"I know." Miku felt her voice was far too quiet to be heard. And when no response came from her mother, she was convinced she hadn't been heard. But moments later, her mother spoke up.

"Really, Miku. It isn't that difficult to make yourself heard." It didn't sound like a rebuke. It just was, plain and simple. A fact Miku had been told many times, mainly by the woman who had just said it.

Miku didn't know how to reply. She lowered her eyes to the ground, scuffing a foot against the floor. She felt ashamed. Under the disinterested eye of her mother, she always felt ashamed, as if she had completely let her down. Miku's very existence wasn't worth discussing around this woman, and when any conversation relating to Miku arose, her mother made no attempt to cover up how she felt about the topic. It was a waste of her valuable time.

And Miku knew it. It hurt her a lot to know her own mother didn't care about her. It wasn't even hate; the feelings her mother had for her didn't exist. You can't hate something that doesn't matter. And Miku didn't matter.

"Yes, mother," Miku replied, biting her lip to keep from quivering. Her mother. The one person in the world she was terrified of. Normally, she'd run to her room and call up Piko, but he was no doubt busy with Rin. Her chin quaked and tears pricked her lashes. No. She would not cry. She would not show weakness to this woman who referred to herself as her mother. Miku would rather die. She certainly felt like she would, the weight of her emotions beginning to pile so high her knees quaked.

"Good. Now, I'm sure you have something to busy yourself with. I don't have time for your right now," her mother's eyes returned to her computer screen. Miku felt her heart deflate and fall into the bottom of her ribcage. As quickly as she could, she turned and left the kitchen, her feet hitting the floor almost painfully in her haste to leave.

The sight of her bed was welcome. But she couldn't quite make it to the comfort of her pillows and blankets before she broke down, sobs wrenching through her delicate frame. She was shaking so badly it physically hurt. It hurt to do anything, especially breath. Everything _hurt._

Weakly, she crawled to her bed, unable to hoist herself on it. She settled for the next best thing, dragging her quilt away from her mattress and curling beneath it. Her own breath was making her too hot and uncomfortable, the scent blasting back in her face as it hit the quilt. But Miku found herself curling as tightly as she could in an attempt to block everything out. She wanted it all gone, all the pain and misery she held, every last tear she had ever cried for herself or for anyone else. She felt pathetic beyond human possibility. Her self-pity was only overshadowed by her intense hatred that made her feel all the worse.

_It's always your fault,_  she told herself unwillingly, her own thoughts echoing like the last remaining visages of dying sunlight,  _I'm sure that if you didn't exist, everyone would be so much happier._

And it was true. Without her, Mikuo would never have anyone to feed or worry about. Without her, Piko would be free to love Rin without leaving her behind. Kaito would have never made the mistake of dating her, only to beak it off in the end. And that  _thing_ , that  _accident_ would have never happened. Oh, above all else, that accident would be the one thing to forever plague her mind. But she knew that event had never been an accident.

Miku was left alone in her room for the remainder of the night. Mikuo was held back by his mother, who felt her need to discuss his life decisions with her much-loved, perfect son outweighed the psychological health of her daughter. No one came.

Miku was completely alone.

* * *

 

In the morning, Miku managed to drag her exhausted body out of her bed. Sometime during the night between restless fits of sleep, the pig-tailed girl had pulled herself into the warmth of her sheets. Her face felt heavy and swollen now, heat radiating from her eyes. It was hard to see through her eyelids, which were almost glued shut. Her head ached, a dull pain unlike any other vibrating within her skull.

The last thing she wanted to do was go to school. So she didn't.

Miku had never skipped a day of school in her life. When she was sick, which was a rare occurrence that resulted in very high fevers and delirium, Mikuo called in for her. Good girls didn't skip school, and Miku was trying to be a good girl.

Miku wasn't a good girl.

After positively drowning herself in an attempt to clean her face, Miku attempted to make herself presentable. School had begun no more than ten minutes ago, but Miku had no wish to run into her mother, who was definitely still home. Her mother, who rarely took days off of work, always returned to the Hatsune household the night before one of her relaxation days. If Miku didn't want a scolding, she would have to get out of that house. Quickly.

Miku pulled on a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt that had seen better days. Both were what Mikuo dubbed her "lazy clothes." She rarely wore them in public, but quite frankly she didn't care. Comfort was best when one was throwing a pity-party for oneself.

Miku had no idea where she might go as she layered on her scarf, a sweater, gloves, and a bulky winter coat, but when she managed to slip downstairs without getting caught by her mother, she let out a deep breath. A small bit of the weight on her chest was lifted at the thought of escaping that house.

Miku had never been the type for a solid plan, so of course she ended up wandering aimlessly. The cold air stung her warm face, still pained from a night of crying. She would never let herself live that down, but it released a bit of weight from her chest. It had been a long time since she had broken down like that. "Overemotional" was not a word Miku wanted associated with her, by others or by herself.

A sigh couldn't be held back as her feet froze to the ground. She glanced around curiously, wondering where she should go. Her eyes were dulled, not opened nearly as widely as normal. Her whole body felt sore and tired, her mind struggling to keep up with her feet as her set pace was taken up once again. It was too cold to stand lost in thought. Her hands were tucked deeply in her pockets, next to her phone and keys. When had she grabbed those? It was hard to picture the exact moment, so Miku refrained from trying.

It didn't take long for her attention to be caught, even in her current state of mind. Then again, seeing yourself from the side might do that to a person.

She did a double take, her eyes glancing to the magazine stand she had passed a few steps back. The main picture, placed in full color across the cover, displayed a familiar teal haired girl. Her face was barely visible, turned away from the camera, slightly blurry, which left her to think the camera that had taken the picture was very low-quality. Beside her, Kagamine Len walked, his faced turned towards her and the camera. It had caught an interesting look on his face: a grin, eyes almost catlike. It was the look he had when he teased Miku.

A growled escaped between her lips, and she immediately went up to the magazine stand. Luckily enough for her, the price seemed to be "free." In any case, she didn't see the price, so no one could accuse her of stealing.

Miku set her jaw as her eyes scanned the magazine she had picked up. Ignoring the other celebrity gossip, she read the caption below the picture of her and Len. It made her sick.

' _Idol Kagamine Len Spotted with a Strange Girl: What could their relationship be? Who is this new face? Read about it on page 56',_ Miku read, her thoughts instantly souring.  _What the hell is this nonsense?_

In an attempt to calm her shaking hands, Miku took a deep breath. It didn't do much, but she managed to find page 59 without passing out or screaming. Her green eyes narrowed more and more in rage as they skimmed down the page.

_The idol boy Kagamine Len is famous for one particular bit of his career; he's never dated a single girl. In his course as an idol, his fans have watched him closely, waiting for the day he'd end up with one of the female idols. Perhaps it would be the gorgeous and mature Sakine, only a few years his senior. Or perhaps a certain pigtailed metal head would catch his eye? Both Hagane Miku and Sakine have been known for their friendship with Kagamine Len. But no. He has surprised us once again, as he seems to have a talent for._

_Fans of his managed to catch these pictures of him and this strange girl who has never been seen in his company before. This girl, who, to this reporters shock, greatly resembles Hagane herself, seems to have known Kagamine Len long enough to scold him, as many reported hearing her raise her voice at him and curse. Who is this girl? And how well does she really know Len?_

_After digging deeper, schoolmates, who also happen to be the same ones in possession of the pictures taken, told us that this girl is named Hatsune Miku. The same age as Kagamine Len, with a sweet disposition and doll-like features was the extent of the information we could gather on Hatsune Miku-san. Not much is yet known about their relationship, but this reporter is sure that any girl like this Hatsune Miku will be good for him. Fans are sure to embrace this latest development in Kagamine Len's love life. After all, it is a long-awaited event._

There was much more, stretching on for five or so pages, but Miku honestly couldn't bear the sight of her name printed on that page. She  _knew_  anyone who saw the two together would jump to this conclusion. She knew it, which was why she got so angry when he had appeared at her school gate dressed as a boy. She did the same thing when Kaito was around her in public. Luckily, even that idiot seemed to have the common sense to hide his real identity. But not Len. No, he just  _had_  to get them into this mess. No doubt the assumption that they were dating would piss him off just as much as it did her. They did not like each other that way; they never would. Len and Miku's relationship could barely be seen as friendship, but Miku admitted some sort of mutual agreement had been silently decided on, resulting in a shaky yet acceptable friendship.

In ager, she threw the glossy, colorful magazine back onto the offensive stand. Her mouth tasted of blood, and Miku realized she had cut through her lip with her own teeth. Well, that was just  _wonderful._  In an attempt to settle her racing heart and flushed cheeks, she unwrapped her scarf and unbuttoned her coat a bit. The cool air flooded against her, raising bumps on her skin. But the simple act of shedding her warms layers seemed to help because she felt her heart melt back into a normal rhythm.

An unwilling sigh escaped parched, bloody lips as Miku slid her hands back into her pockets, her scarf once again placed around her neck, but three buttons lay undone on her jacket. The cold didn't bother her much anymore. A rage she seemed to be feeling more and more often lately boiled under her skin, controlled but not defeated. It warmed her body, the flush on her cheeks all but unnoticeable. Despite her acceptance of the frigid air, she didn't want to be out for too long. Where did that leave her, exactly?

Miku shuddered in irritation as the memory of the cozy café from yesterday sunk into her skin. Yes, Rin was there, but as long as she was without Piko, it wouldn't be that big of a deal... Right? Rin was nice enough and standable enough as long Piko wasn't drooling over her, which had only happened once so far. Yeah, Miku would be fine.

She swallowed her pride and started on the route she  _thought_  would lead her to her destination. Luckily enough, Miku wasn't as directionally challenged as some people (cough-Mikuo-cough) and actually arrived at the little coffee shop in a matter of twenty minutes or less. Rin spotted her through the large front window, and Miku saw the blond girl's face light up with the smile. That was adorable, she had to admit. Just like a child when their parent arrives at home after a long day of work.

"Hi, Miku-san!" Rin greeted, waving over the counter. Her white bow flopped over into her face and she swept it away with a single hand. The customers that were there, many more that the day before, glanced up first to the hyperactive blond, then to the short girl who had just entered. Amusement, disinterest, and irritation could be seen in the many eyes as they turned back to whatever they had been doing before Miku (it was really Rin, though) had interrupted them.

Miku swallowed a rebuke and smiled at Rin. She was nice; Miku also had to admit, if not a bit loud. And jumpy.

"Hello, Kagamine-san. How are you?" Miku asked quietly when she had made her way the counter.

"I'm great! Well, aside from being stuck at work. And the weather sucks. And Len's in a weird mood. But other than that, I'm doing great, really!" Rin gave Miku that intense smile, a smile she could never imagine finding on Len's face, despite the two looking similar enough to be twins.

"Kagamine is in a bad mood?" Miku asked, tilting her head a bit. Could she act like a good girl around Rin or did the older girl already know about her true nature? She hadn't acted especially angry around Rin yet, so Miku figured she could fake it and not get caught. But referring to Len simply as "Kagamine" wasn't very respectful, and Miku prided herself on keeping her good girl side respectful. "Prided" in the loosest definition, of course.

Rin nodded a few times, her smile never fading. "I guess he got a call from his agent earlier, 'cause that really the only reason Lenny is ever in a bad mood. Well, most of the time."

Rin looked just about ready to burst, as if she had a secret, but Miku ignored her look of desperation and… Amusement? It was none of her concern and she didn't want to hear whatever secrets the Kagamine siblings had.

"Oh. Well, I hope whatever happened to put Len in a sour mood gets fixed soon," Miku smiled gently. She was sincere because honestly an annoyed Len was not something she wanted to deal with.

"It probably will!" Rin reassured her, "Len isn't going to take this laying down!" She beamed.

_Her purity hurts my eyes,_ Miku thought.

"Do you want anything to drink, Miku-san? Or maybe some muffins? They're still warm!"

The image of Rin threateningly holding a muffin, prepared to crash it into the back of Len's head, nearly made her explode with laughter. Their relationship was odd, and the use of muffins as weapons the day before was proof enough for Miku that Rin was definitely a little crazy.

"U-um, no thanks," Miku told her politely, attempting to hide the tears of laughter in her eyes. Hopefully Rin wouldn't get mad at her for laughing if she was caught.

"Are you crying?" Rin demanded, "Did the muffins make you cry? 'Cause if they did, I can punish them."

Miku lost it right then. A keen of laughter echoed around the café. No one seemed to care much about a teenager's sudden explosion of noise. Perhaps some had kids of their own and were used to it. Perhaps they had been here so often they were used to Rin being loud anyway. Whatever it was, no one seemed to mind when Miku high-pitched laughter filled the air. It was a nice sound, light and airy, filled with joy, much unlike Miku herself.

Rin eyed her in amusement. She waited as Miku tried to contain herself, blue eyes sparking childishly.

"Are you always this weird?" Miku asked lightheartedly, giggling into her hand.

Rin giggled as well. "I've been told so."

So maybe Rin wasn't as annoying or horrible as she had seemed yesterday. Then again, watching your childhood friend and crush drool over some girl he had known for, what, five minutes would probably make anyone dislike said girl for at least a little while. In fact, Miku could actually imagine herself getting along with Rin fairly well. As long as Piko wasn't in the room with them. Yeah…

Miku shook her head gently, wiping her eyes delicately with the back of her hand. "I'll just have some hot chocolate, please. I don't really like coffee."

Rin gave her a thumbs up. "Awesome! Something I won't mess up."

This statement left Miku feeling wary about leaving Rin around anything that involved food, especially knives or hot things, like stoves or coffee pots. Maybe she was a bit unstable as well as weird…

Miku left Rin to her job and sat herself at a corner table, away from the window. It seemed to have started snowing, flakes spiraling down to earth gently. Miku liked snow as long as she didn't have to be out in it, so this current arrangement was just fine with her. Rin seemed to be taking long enough that she had a chance to think for a bit, something Miku seemed to be doing rather well lately.

Miku smiled wryly as she watched the older girl rush around to prepare her hot chocolate. She seemed so close to knocking over things all the time. Honestly, she was a terrible role model. The girl hadn't even questioned why she, a high school student, was not in school on a Thursday. There wasn't near enough snow for a snow day to be scheduled. Clearly, Rin wasn't as concerned with school as other people her age. Although Len had mentioned something about her being in college, right? Miku swore he had told her something, but maybe she was wrong.

Rin carelessly skipped to Miku's table, almost spilling the warm drink inside the paper cup she had brought. Miku cringed as the girl slid the cup before her, smiling as always.

"I put whipped cream on top! That's how I always like it!" Rin exclaimed happily. The drink was far too warm for consumption, so Miku set it between her palms, feeling the heat resonate through her hands. Miku thanked her quietly, then turned to the blond.

"You're a college student, right?" Miku asked.

"Yep! Three years your senior, baby!" Rin told her, unnecessarily, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

"Wow…" Miku was actually impressed, if not worried. This silly girl, a doctor? She didn't think it would be possible. "That's a lot of schooling, though. Can you handle it?"

Rin smiled obliviously, unaware of Miku's true intentions behind the question. "Aw, that's sweet! I can totally do it, Miku-san! I'm not as irresponsible as I look!" Well, maybe not completely unaware.

"O-oh, that's not what I meant! I'm sure you're capable, but I bet it's a stressful job," Miku attempted to covered up her mildly veiled insult.

Riin grinned knowingly. "Miku-san, you are a terrible liar."

Miku had to agree as her cheeks flushed darkly.


	10. Chapter 10

Miku found herself remaining at the café well past the time she had previously imagined. She left at around noon, many hours after arriving. Rin bid her farewell with a gift of two brownies, saying her boss wouldn't miss them too much. Yet another reason Rin wasn't a good role model.

Miku decided now would be an excellent time to buy herself some lunch. Perhaps she would be lucky enough to find something cheap at the store.

The walk would be cold, but Miku was okay with that. Those long hours at the café had been more than enough to warm her up. With a new bit of confidence burning in her chest, Miku set off to the nearest grocery store. Well, she thought it was the nearest one. If it wasn't, that would be okay, too. Walking wouldn't kill her.

However, before she could get close to her destination, she found her path blocked by none other than three girls wearing her school's uniform, barely visible under stylish, dark coats. They all seemed absolutely livid, which was one confusing aspect of this whole thing. Secondly, they all seemed just about ready to pound Miku into the concrete. Thirdly, they were skipping school, and people of their sort didn't look like they'd be caught dead skipping school. And lastly, none of these girls seemed like the fighting type. One, a willowy girl with long, red hair and sparks shining in her eyes, wore a pink ribbon in her hair, holding back long strands back against her head. Another girl wore dark makeup, set heavily against golden eyes. The only thing Miku could think as she examined this girl was "gothic Lolita." The third and final girl was small, delicate, with bright eyes and hair rivaling Miku's in length. Her neat outfit and set hairstyle lead Miku to believe that she wouldn't ever risk messing with her looks by engaging in a fight unless it was serious.

"Um, hi?" Miku attempted. All three girls glared fiercely and she chose to hold her tongue.

"Hatsune Miku, correct?" the Lolita-type demanded.

"Yeah. Who's asking?" Miku shot back. Her "brain-to-mouth" filter didn't seem to be working at the moment.

"None of your business!" the girl with red eyes snapped. She was busy smoothing out a lock of silver hair, as if it would help her intimidate Miku. Heh. Nice try.

Miku felt her face harden. So, they wanted to fight? Little girls who didn't understand manners would deserve the beating she gave them.

She pushed away that thought. No. Fighting silly girls wouldn't solve anything. If anything, she'd probably end up in trouble. What a joy that would be.

"You're that girl who was with Len-sama yesterday! We saw you walking with him!" the tallest one accused with a voice of poison. Those bright eyes were narrowed angrily and Miku found her own eyes replicating that look.

"We even saw you in that picture with him!" the shortest spat. She stood between the two others, red eyes filled with malevolence.

Miku couldn't get a word in edge-wise as the tall one began speaking again, hands on her hips.

"What's the big idea, hanging out with an idol like our Len-sama? You're no one, so hang out with people of your level," she instructed coldly, flipping her red hair over her shoulder. The Lolita with golden eyes nodded in agreement.

"There's no way Kagamine Len would go for a girl like  _you_. Those clothes and that ridiculously childish hair," the red-eyed girl told her, "It's a wonder boys don't mistake you for a ten-year-old."

Miku spoke up quickly, an edge to her voice she rarely heard around anyone, save for Len. "Kagmine-san and I are not in a relationship. Falsely accusing me of shit like that only makes you seem immature."

"Don't lie to us," the tall red-head hissed, stepping forward to grab Miku by the front of her coat, "Whatever you have to do with him, we don't like it. So stop before we have to teach you a lesson."

Miku released a deep growl, hidden below layers of clothes and skin and muscle. "How about you let go? I don't want to hurt you." And she didn't. It was the truth.

A smirk formed on her glossed lips. "Why don't you see what happens if you try to escape?"

With a flash of movement, Miku grabbed the girl by her arm, twisting it around and yanking the arm behind the girl's back. A cry of shock and pain echoed from the girl, and Miku was surprised no one was running to her aid. Then again, the girls had chosen to corner her on a rather deserted sidewalk, so it shouldn't seem odd.

"H-hey!" the girl exclaimed, trying to escape. Miku pulled her arm farther back as she struggled, rendering her relatively motionless and whimpering.

"I told you to  _back off_ ," Miku snapped, her breath hitting the back of the girl's neck, "I'm giving you one more chance before I really start getting mad."

The last thing she expected was for the small Lolita girl, who had yet to say a single word, to open her mouth and yell loudly.

"Rei!" her high-pitched voice cried, "Rei, come here! This girl is bullying us!"

Miku froze, her eyes catching on the golden-eyed girl's own vibrant pair. That moment sent her heart racing; a single point in time where she had no idea what might happen. Something quickly did, and Miku was surprised to find a boy very near identical to the dark-haired, golden-eyed girl with the unusually high pitched voice. His eyes were narrowed, flashing amber as he turned to look dead on at Miku. She couldn't move. His eyes reminded her of a cat's; cold and sharp.

"What is it, Rui?" he demanded, "Were you serious?"

"Of course," the much shorter girl scowled at the boy, "I don't kid when it involves interacting with you." The words were biting and poisonous; Miku was surprised by the lack of response the boy had. With an equally dark scowl on her face, Miku shoved her red-head captive to the side, where her girlish friends quickly went to examine her arm, as if she had been contaminated by Miku's very touch. The girl seemed close to tears as the other two glared at Miku coldly. The boy, who was around Miku's own age or maybe a bit older, didn't allow much emotion across his face. Quite frankly, he seemed bored and disconnected. Where had he come from, anyway?

"Alright, what do you want?" Miku demanded, "A fight? I thought boys had some code of honor preventing them from fighting girls? Especially short ones." He must've been a good five or six inches taller than her. Size didn't matter when Miku was involved in the equation. In any fight, Miku could tip the scales if she wanted.

"I do what is necessary for family," he replied simply, proceeding to roll off his gloves and putting them in his pocket.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I have no intention of fighting you. I don't even know you. Therefore, I have nothing against you," Miku quickly revised her statement, "Yet. Keep this up and I might."

He didn't seem to be paying her words any sort of attention, because he continued to unravel his scarf.

"Are you serious?" Miku demanded, "Do you know who I am?"

"Hatsune Miku, tenth grade, sixteen, sixth in the class, younger sister of Hatsune Mikuo," he replied, "Previously a student at Cottonwood Middle School, you haven't had any problems involving fights at your current school. I have a feeling you don't know me, asking a question like that."

Miku couldn't speak. The fact that he knew so much about her was frightening, to say the least. Who he must be, she couldn't imagine. He went to her school, she could guess, but Miku was struggling to remember his face. She just couldn't.

"That isn't impressive," Miku stated, "That's creepy." Secretly, she did find it impressive. But it was creepy above all else.

Her comment didn't even earn a smirk. The boy's face remained as impassive and bland as it had so far. Honestly, that's what made him attractive… Wait, what?

Okay, yeah, he was attractive. But he was also annoying.

"My memory serves me well when it comes to my duties. I'm surprised you haven't recognized me," the boy replied, almost coldly.

"Rei! Stop chit-chatting! She left marks on Miki-chan's arm!" the raven-haired girl with matching eyes shrieked angrily.

The boy showed no reaction to her demand, except to tilt his head slightly at Miku. "You could just apologize, Hatsune-san. We don't need to become violent."

"Rei!"

"Enough, Rui. You're hurting my ears," the boy stated plainly, "Well, Hatsune-san?"

Instantly, Miku's anger rose, turning her skin warm and painful as boiling rage gurgled below the surface. Absolutely not! She wasn't the one at fault here!

"No," Miku growled, "They started it. I've done nothing wrong."

"Liar!" the shortest girl with long, silver hair spat, "Hurting Miki-chan was cruel! You've made Rui-chan almost cry!"

As if on cue, the raven-haired girl hiccupped delicately, and Miku could see cold tears cling to her dark lashes. The sight made her sick, and dropped her resolve as the boy, who she now assumed to be this girl's older brother, stepped forward.

"Then I'm afraid that I won't be able to prevent this. If anyone has hurt Rui, they will pay," the boy's voice was edging towards anger now, yet remaining empty and controlled as ever. A protest about his final phrase escaped the shorter sibling, but he ignored it. Miku didn't have a chance to hear what she had said as she was ducking to avoid a punch that barely flew over her.

"Goddamn it!" she exclaimed, managing to use the same speed just demonstrated to swing her body to the side. Another punch had almost landed itself in her stomach. This was going to get old fast.

Without a moment of hesitation she turned to face the boy head on, catching his oncoming fist in her palm with a slap of skin on skin as sharp contact was made. It was painful, but the boy and the other girls were surprised as Miku managed to block an attack with one hand. She didn't release his fist, and his other came up to strake her. Somehow, in an instant that no one but Miku was able to see, she managed to catch his other fist as well, leaving the two in a contest of strength, pushing against the hands and arms of the other with as much force as they could. It was hard to tell who had the upper hand from the outside, but both Miku and the boy knew that he was naturally more powerful. Miku, however, was no weakling, and pushed against him with all her might in one final, mighty shove. It worked well, actually, causing the boy to trip backwards. Miku caught the surprise in his eyes as the two tumbled back, her weight falling on the other.

As Miku attempted to push herself off the boy, her hair got yanked by the zipper of his jacket. A hiss of pain escaped her, and she glared down at the boy, who looked equally annoyed, to her shock. Before he could react, she raised a fist and pounded it into his chest. Not his face. Wouldn't want anyone questioning a bruised eye or bloodied nose or busted lip. He choked on a breath he had taken in, and Miku sat up, letting her weight settle on his stomach. Raising another fist, she beat it down into his ribs, hoping nothing broke. She hadn't been using full strength, but a pained gasp escaped the boy under her all the same.

As she once again lifted her fist, she heard a voice exclaim loudly from somewhere off to her right.

"Mi-chan!"

And suddenly she was collapsed on the ground, her elbows used to prop her up. A blond mess of hair was gagging her, obscuring her view. Len. Of course. His head was buried in her shoulder, slung against her in a weird hug. More of a tackle, really.

"Mi-chaaan!" he exclaimed, over-playing the cute, innocent teen by a lot. He wore his school uniform, the skirt riding up his legs a bit in his current position, which included lying mostly atop Miku, arms slung around her neck. It was awkward. For one, he was dressed as a girl. For another, he happened to be male. Having a guy hang on you like that was just weird.

"Le- Lin!" Miku exclaimed, completely unable to reply. The boy she had been attacking eyed the two, and the three girls from before looked at her with expressions ranging from confusion to complete terror.

"Mi-chan! What are you doing? I thought you didn't like fighting!" Len demanded, raising the pitch of his voice. His vocals sounded close to Rin's, high pitched but far more girly than hers. Somehow. Damn, he was a talented voice actor.

"Eh? U-um…" Miku began, staring down at the top of his head. It hurt her eyes to try, as her chin was titled up so she could see over his hair. Her eyes were rolled too far downwards, and shooting pain was introduced to her face.

"What are you doing out of school, anyway?" he demanded, raising his head to look her straight in the eye. He was surprised to find her blushing and looking extremely flustered. Maybe it was being caught in the act of beating someone the way she had been. He didn't know.

Miku stared back at him, and then her eyes narrowed. Her eyebrows cut down angrily into her face. The transformation from embarrassed teen to angry teen was almost instantaneous, and had Len fearing for his life for a moment.

"What the hell, you idiot?! You don't just go tackling girls!" she shrieked, attempting to push him away without realizing her arms were the only things holding her up. Len wasn't surprised when she collapsed backwards, resulting in the two of them flattening against the sidewalk. His head was gently rested on her chest, arms still wrapped around her neck. His own cheeks grew a bit warm as he realized the four other people seemed to be watching intently.

"C-come on, Rui-chan, Miki-chan. W-we should leave before things get weirder," the silver-haired one stated, and turned hurriedly away. Her friends followed quickly, breath fogging the air in front of them.

"Eh? What's weird?" Len asked, innocently, snuggling closer to Miku just to spite her. A growl rose in her chest, vibrating inside his ears.

"My God. Just get off of me," Miku snapped and decided it was a lost cause as Len snorted. She almost forgotten completely about the other boy who she had been in the process of hitting, until he decided to stand up.

"Well, Hatsune-san. This has been interesting, above all else. And to you," he seemed to be speaking to Len now, "thanks for interrupting when you did."

"No problem," Len chirped happily, "Have a nice day!"

Miku turned her head to watch as the boy walked away, in the same direction as his sister and their friends. His shoulders were slumped a bit and his movements were sluggish. She hoped he hadn't been hurt too badly. Then again, the more it hurt, the less likely he'd want to come back for more.

For a moment, the two teens lay silently. Then Miku remembered they happened to be in public. Yes, the street was fairly quiet and deserted, but no doubt someone would come along soon. Besides, the concrete was freezing. The cold was slipping through the fabric of her skirt, chilling her legs to the bone. In general, she was pretty uncomfortable.

"Len? Can you just… Get up?" Miku asked quietly, "This is awkward."

"Aw. Aren't you comfortable? You're so warm," Len teased, "I want to snuggle more."

Miku resisted the urge to gag. "You're weird. Get off."

Pouting in an absurdly fake way, Len decided it would best to give Miku what she wanted. Rolling aside, he sat momentarily, and then stood, offering a hand to Miku. She grudgingly took it, casting him a glare.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

He grinned. "At my school, we're allowed off-campus for lunch. I wanted to go visit Rinny. Besides, I'll get free muffins."

"No, you'll get hit with free muffins," Miku corrected, rolling her eyes, "For an idol with tons of money, you're really cheap."

Len couldn't deny that. "So, why are  _you_  here, then?"

Miku shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She knew Len didn't miss the look she had put on her face, and her eyes drifted away from his.

"It's not important," she replied, "I didn't go to school today, that's all."

Len resisted the urge to snort and roll his eyes. "I'm sorry, what? So, the 'perfect girl' Hatsune Miku just didn't go to school? That doesn't sound like something you would do?"

"And you know me so well?" she snapped, glaring at him coldly. This comment did annoy him a bit. More than anything, it stung. Len thought they had actually made some progress as friends. Clearly, Miku wouldn't refrain from shooting him hurtful comebacks, friends or not.

"I know you well enough," Len told her, letting his own voice turn cold as well, "You can tell me what's wrong, you know."

Miku eyed him quietly, surprised he had used such a tone. Was he really irritated? Nothing she or anyone else (save for Rin) had done so far had annoyed him. He was the one who supplied the main source of irritation. But maybe she had been a bit mean. Kind of. Well, she didn't think so, but Len probably did.

"I don't want to. I've never told anyone before and I've done fine," Miku stated angrily.

"Yeah, you're super happy. Your life is just perfect," Len's delicate voice oozed sarcasm that clung to Miku like poisoned honey, "If you had just told someone you were being bullied, you never would've had to do anything about it yourself!"

Len seemed to realize what he had said, falling silent quickly as Miku stared at him. Her eyes were filled with hurt and – he wasn't sure – betrayal. The fact that he knew something she seemed to work so hard to forget and cover up was rendering her both speechless and unable to show any other emotions besides the ones she already had.

"I told you I'd find your secrets. I just wanted to wait for you to tell me," Len spoke gently, trying to avoid whatever explosion of anger he might witness from Miku.

Miku's face was flat and expressionless. She and Len spent a moment standing and staring at each other. When she finally spoke up, her voice was as empty as her face.

"You don't know the half of it," she stated, and Len flinched at the lack of anger, "I put those girls who were bullying me in the hospital. Five of them in all. Three broken bones, two black eyes, one with internal bleeding, four lost teeth, and two dislocated fingers. Those numbers have been stuck in my head for years. And you want to know the worst part?" Finally, a shiver of anger broke across her features, lighting her green eyes with bright fire, "The leader of all the bullying was put in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She can't even walk anymore. I did all that just because I couldn't control myself anymore. They said that if I told, they would make everything worse. They said no one would believe me, the pathetically quiet girl at the back of the room who had no friends at school. They were right. Nothing I could've told anyone would have helped."

Len was surprised at the burst of emotion in her face. He had done his research, digging up as much information on Hatsune Miku as he could. Throughout her school life, she had been a diligent student, smart and active in school clubs and classes. But the only information on her during her life as a middle schooler revolved around her last year, when she was reported to have lost complete control of herself. It wasn't hard to found. She went unnamed in the three newspaper articles he had found, but it was doubtless who the culprit behind the attacks of the five girls could be. He knew she had gone to that middle school, and that something had happened there and she didn't want to talk about it. So it had been settled. Hatsune Miku had been the one to put those girls in the hospital.

"So? Are you scared of me yet?" Miku demanded coldly, "I've been telling you this whole time not to mess with me. Do you regret being anywhere near me?"

Len blinked in confusion. Did she honestly think that's what he felt?

"You're ridiculous," Len replied, to her shock, "I couldn't be scared of you. It's like being scared of a cat. Cats attack things that threaten them; they fight to protect themselves. It's the same with other animals, too. I haven't done anything to harm you. Besides, you've grown strong enough over the years to control yourself. You've never thrown a punch at something that annoys you. That's all I do. Annoy you."

Miku couldn't think of how to reply. Len had it right, she decided. But how could he place so much trust in her self-control? She got angry so often, spitting words and phrases filled with poison. Being trusted  _not_  to hurt someone was weird. She knew Mikuo always expected her to lose it soon, and it seemed to be the same with Piko as well. They both loved her in their own ways, but past experiences had rendered them both doubtful of her abilities. Even Gumi, who had been in her school for some time and seemed to remember Miku from days when they were both younger, flinched away from her at times. Maybe that's why Gumi always made Teto leave her alone; fear that Miku would grow so annoyed that she would hurt Teto and anyone else who happened to be near them.

"I don't understand why you would put up with someone like me," Miku replied, depression slipping into her tones. Her eyes dulled just enough for Len to notice.

"Well, for one, you're friends with Kaito-san, so you can't be all that bad. For another, I've always found you interesting, Miku. I guess now I understand that everything you do is just to protect yourself, and sometimes even others. Maybe it's not the people around you who are scared of you. I think you're scared of yourself more than anyone else is," Len told her, letting a calm smile slip onto his features. She looked almost on the verge of tears, swallowing her own feelings as his smile attempted to reassure her.

"I was about to lose control. If you hadn't shown up, I think I would've hurt that boy if I was pushed to," Miku told him, dully.

"And I'm sure you had a reason," Len replied.

Miku shook her head. "He was protecting his sister, I think. I made the first move. I hurt the red-haired girl."

"What did she do?"

Miku eyed Len, waiting for a reaction. Probably a laugh at the absurdity of the accusations. "They were fans of yours. They saw the magazine article about us and got mad. They didn't like the idea of you dating someone like me." She laughed cruelly as she paused, which surprised Len a bit, "They shouldn't believe everything they read."

Len looked at her. He himself had been forced to read that article after his angry agent called him up. It had been the reason for his weird mood all morning. Did people really see his relationship with Miku that way? Of course, the reporters who wrote that garbage didn't really know him or her, so whatever thoughts he had on the subject were dumb. He and Miku were friends. Fans expected him to have girlfriend, but what if he didn't want one? Did they think of that?

Admittedly, though, Miku was the only person he would consider dating. He could never be sure what other girls wanted. He had money, looks, and immense popularity. Any girl he dated could only be after the things he had instead of him as a person. Miku wasn't like that. She disliked him for being him, he knew, and maybe a part of her appreciated him for the same reason. If he dated Miku, she would be genuine. She'd enjoy him for being him, even if she didn't admit it.

No, he shouldn't be thinking those things. Miku didn't like him. She clearly liked Piko. And Len didn't like Miku, even if he found her interesting and amusing.

"I don't think it matters," Len replied, "They can believe what they want. As long as we know the truth, they don't matter."

Miku had to agree with him on that.


	11. Chapter 11

Friday was introduced in a torrent of cold winds and heavy snow. School was cancelled that day, due to the impossibility of navigating the roads. Twenty-eight full inches of snow was piled outside, and a flurry was still being sent down when Miku awoke. Her open curtains sent spiraling shadows against her wall, pressing up in the glass as the fell. It wasn't a surprise; the end of January often delivered harsh storms. She couldn't see for than a few feet outside her window due to the weather conditions.

Miku resisted the urge to remain in bed and threw her blankets aside, quickly grabbing up her bath robe to keep herself warm. The heat wasn't up nearly enough. No doubt Mikuo turned it down before bed to be conservative.

Quietly, she left her dark room and turned into the hallway upstairs. She ignored the light on in Mikuo's room and travelled to her kitchen, where a kettle was already on. By the clock on the stove, it was 9:12. She had slept in, that was for sure.

The night before, Miku had left her cell in the kitchen when she fell asleep at the table, not long after walking back to her house with Len. Mikuo had carried her up to bed, but didn't notice her cell phone on the table. Miku picked it up as she slid into a chair, skimming through messages. Three from Piko, who claimed his house was "cold as hell" and was currently shivering under his blankets. Miku smirked at that mental image, and sent him a pitying text. Next, it seemed that Kaito was stuck at the recording studio with a power-outage. It took him seven texts to tell her this, mainly full of complaints. The last few were from a mixture of people, including an unknown number who claimed to be Rin and a contact labeled "Lenny-kun 3 3." Miku snorted at the boy's audacity, and proceeded to answer her messages.

Moments later, that very boy called her up.

She jumped a bit as her phone buzzed, dropping it on her foot. The call was answered as her toe hit a button, something she found out after swearing loudly, grumbling, and leaning down to pick up her phone, which had turned into a weapon intended to damage feet, apparently.

"Well," the very amused voice of Kagamine Len began on the other end of the call, "You sound awful cheery this morning."

"Oh, shut up. I dropped the phone on my foot," Miku retorted, settling at the kitchen table, with the phone to her ear.

"Smooth," Len snickered. Miku wished she could shoot him a glare through the phone.

"What the hell'd you call me for?" she demanded, steadily tapping her fingers on the table top. She waited quietly as he seemed to vanish for a moment.

"Oh, sorry, my mom was asking me who I'm talking to. What did you say?" he asked. He was acting fairly distracted, as if his attention was on something else.

"I wanted to know why you're calling me," Miku repeated, holding back an angry tone of voice. It was too early to be so annoyed.

"That's right. You have a snow day, right?"

Miku nodded before remembering he couldn't see her. "Yeah. You, too?"

"Yep. Rin's gone to work, though," he sighed heavily, making the phone crackle against her ear, "I'm just kind of bored. My mom's pretty sick, so I'm going to be here most of the day caring for her."

"Oh," Miku said. She couldn't really think of anything else to say.

"Yeah. Yukari and Aria can't even get out of their houses, so they can't come over and keep me company. Neru said she'd stop by later, but I don't really know when," he laughed heartily, "An hour in Neru-time is three days."

Miku couldn't help but snicker and agree.

"Can you come over sometime?" Len's voice was almost pleading. Miku could imagine his eyes growing wide and innocent, shining brightly with childish wanting.

"Why me?" she demanded, although she wouldn't really mind dropping by Len's house. But she wasn't going to admit it.

"It's not like anyone else can. Please, Mi-chan? You make everything so much more interesting," he begged. Miku was glad he couldn't see her blush.

"S-stop that," she hissed, stuttering a bit, "Alright, I'll come over. Quit trying to flatter me."

"Whoever said being interesting was flattering?" Len teased, "But seriously, thanks. I'm pretty sure the Internet isn't working and there's nothing to do. Unless you happen to like homework. Which I don't."

Miku smirked. "You're one of many, Kagamine. When do you want me over?"

"As soon as you can. I'll text you my address. I don't think it's too far, so you won't freeze to death. But I'll have hot chocolate ready when you get here," Len offered.

"Okay," Miku agreed, "I'll just eat something and get dressed. But walking over might take a while."

Len laughed. "By all means, take your time. Don't fall and break anything."

"I'm not that clumsy!" Miku exclaimed in mild anger.

"Sure, sure. I'll be seeing you soon, Mi-chan!" And with that, Len hung up, leaving Miku to grumble at his rudeness.

"He didn't even let me say any sort of good-bye," she complained in a whisper to herself, though she didn't know why she cared, exactly. Maybe just because it was just typical Len being rude and ignoring phone etiquette.

Standing, she went to the fridge. There wasn't much, but even Miku could fix herself eggs without blowing up the house. Quickly, she got out a pan and broke two eggs into it, turning up the heat of the burner and standing by to scramble the eggs and grate cheese into the simple breakfast. That was the only way she ate eggs. With cheese.

Before long, she had a plate of eggs with cheese melted over them and a cup of tea placed before her on the table. Without wasting a moment, she shoveled food into her mouth. She didn't even notice her change of pace. Perhaps it could be blamed on the fact that she was going to leave to see Len as soon as she was done getting ready. That was probably the case, but it didn't occur to Miku as she drank down her tea and placed her dishes in the sink.

Running up the stairs, she entered her room, closing the door and instantly walking to her closet, which was open with clothes spilling out. She wasn't the most organized, to say the least.

With an air of laziness, Miku decided on a pair of jeans and a tank top paired with a thin sweater over it. The overall color scheme was black on black on black, with a bit of color showing as she pulled on rainbow-striped socks. Honestly, she hated choosing clothes. Why couldn't she just go with a t-shirt and jeans every day? It wasn't like she wanted anyone looking at her, anyway. Well, no one except Piko. But even then. Why should a boy like her for her body? She didn't like her body, but she did like her mind. She was smart and she knew it. If only people cared more about intelligence than looks.

Sighing dramatically, Miku made her way back downstairs to the front door. Her boots had been crammed into the closet, along with her coat and scarf. She hated sitting on the floor to lace up her boots, so she dragged her things into the living room, sitting on the couch and yanking her thick winter boots on over her socks.

Normally, she hated the living room. It was empty and bland. There sat the large television. There sat the matching couch and two armchairs, placed around the glass coffee table. There were the dull green walls, lined with framed pictures. Her parents hadn't even bothered removing the happy family pictures yet. Miku, missing a front tooth and sitting pretty in her spring green dress for school pictures. Mikuo and Miku, standing side by side on a dock by a lake, eat with a small fish hanging from a line. Her parents, holding newborn Mikuo . Her mother, stealing a bite of Miku's mint chocolate chip ice cream, much to her five-year-old daughter's horror. Mikuo, riding a bike successfully for the first time, proudly grinning at the camera as he showed off the bloody scrapes on his knees and elbows he had gotten from failed attempts.

All those memories that room had made Miku's heart crack and sink into her stomach, surrounded by good intentions and false hopes and cold realization. The times her family had been happy. It was all her fault nothing was right anymore. If Miku didn't exist, maybe her mother and father and Mikuo could've been happy forever. If Miku hadn't screwed up so much, she wouldn't feel so guilty.

It was no use thinking of such things. She existed and she had screwed up a lot. Nothing left to do but repent.

Quickly, before anymore unpleasant thoughts could arise, Miku wrapped her scarf around her neck and stepped back into the front hall. She loudly called to Mikuo, telling him she was going out for a few hours. When she heard a shout back, she decided he got the message and proceeded to step outside.

Instantly, she knew it was a frozen hell. Cold wind blasted into her face, dragging her hair back. With the strong, freezing wind came icy snow, pelting her reddening cheeks and leaving them stinging. All around her, snow was piling up. Branches were missing from the trees around her yard, poking up from the snow. Her front walk was cover, no doubt icy beneath the fluffy, white snow. The sky was layer upon layer of soft greys and hard greys and gradient greys, all blending together to make a solid mass of dull clouds that spilled heavy snowflakes the size of a human fingernail. Miku could even imagine trying to drive in this weather.

"Wonderful," she grumbled as she took her first step into the sea of snow. It crumpled under her boot, but Miku saw that it was about three or so inches above the lining of her boots. Her feet would be soaked by the time she arrived at Len's house.

Quickly double-checking the address, she plowed her way through the vast white spread of snow before her. Already, she felt frozen, even with a hat, two sweaters, a coat, a scarf, two pairs of socks layer on top of each other, and her gloved hands stuffed in her pockets. Her pigtails were smashed against her head and spilled out of her hat, which was pulled low to shield her face from the snow and the cold. White flakes clung to her hair and clothes, her breath hitting the air in a thick cloud.

Luckily, Len was less than half a mile away. On any other day, she could've been at his door in ten minutes easily. But that day, it took her about twice that as she navigated ice patches and closed streets and piled of snow the plows had tossed on the sidewalk. When she did arrive, she was cold and winded, red in the face and soaked to the bone. Her feet felt frozen in their supposedly warming boots. Slowed by the cold, Miku raised a finger to prod the doorbell. She heard as it rung out inside the house and waited patiently for someone to let her in. She didn't have to wait long.

Len appeared before long, pulling open the heavy front door with a grin.

"Get in before you freeze," he instructed, "You can leave your shoes right there." He pointed to the towel placed next the door and Miku did as he said, stiffly slipping off her boots and placing them on the towel with shaking hands. Len took her coat and opened the front hall closet, which was huge. Actually, his house was just plain huge. Miku hadn't gotten a very good glimpse of the outside, but it seemed pretty large from outside, too.

"Thanks," she told him, shivering softly. His house was warm and comfortable, hitting her frozen cheeks and melting the snow that clung to her hair.

"Follow me. I'm just making my mom some soup," Len told her, yanking playfully on the end of her black scarf and receiving a glare for his efforts.

Len led her down a long, long hallway, with many doors breaking off and leading elsewhere. Once, Miku encountered a large, open doorway that opened up into a sitting room. Before she could look any closer, Len turned off into a different room. The kitchen, she guessed.

The Kagamine kitchen was huge and spacious. A long counter separated the dining room from the actual kitchen, cabinets lining the space above the empty counter space. The fridge was also large, with double doors on top and a freezer below. The counters were smooth light blue marble, clean and shiny. On the gas stove sat a pot, bubbling and gurgling with whatever contents. Probably soup, from what Len said earlier. Past the counter, a round counter stood, with eight chairs settled around it. Two were pulled out. A woman sat on one of them, using the other to prop her feet up.

Miku took her time to study the woman. She looked worn and tired, with dark circles tracing the skin below her eyes. Her eyes shown a brilliant shade of green, framed by wrinkles that were probably caused by smiling, just as she was at that moment. Her skin was pale, almost as fragile-looking as her thin layer of blond hair. She wore a thick bathrobe and pajama pants, both of which were a light shade of purple. On her feet, she wore slippers the color of a grape lollipop. She was small, delicate, with a thin face and body frame, even cover in her bathrobe. Her hands were folded in her lap, one on top of the other.

Miku suddenly became shy as Len pretty much dragged her over to the woman. But she managed to hold those green eyes with her own.

"Heya, Mom. This is my friend Hatsune Miku," Len told his mother. They looked very similar. He had gotten his smile from her.

"H-hello," Miku greeted, shyly and quietly. She could see as Len rolled his eyes at her.

"Hello, Hatsune-san. It's nice to meet you," the woman's voice was very soft and almost weak-sounding. It reflected the state of her body. "My name is Kagamine Misayo."

Miku nodded once as Len pulled out a chair for her, pushing her back into it a bit forcefully.

"Just get along while I finish the soup. It only has to simmer a bit longer, but there are a few more spices I want to add," Len told the pair, smiling knowingly at Miku. She glared back at him, despite having the boy's mother glancing between the two watchfully. Unknown to the teens, the blond woman smiled to herself as her son hopped over the counter and began stirring the soup on the stove.

"Are you his friend from school?" Misayo asked, lacing her fingers together as she turned her gentle smile on Miku.

"No. He just likes bugging me," Miku stated, loud enough for Len to hear. The boy snorted audibly, but otherwise ignored her.

"He's good at that," the woman agreed, smiling warmly.

"Mom!"

Miku giggled lightly at boy's protest as his mother winked playfully.

"Rin's still better though," she amended, "So, where do you go to school, Hatsune-san?"

"She's actually in Neru's class," Len told his mother. She raised an eyebrow.

"Good luck with that one," she stated, solemnly. Miku snorted and agreed.

"So you're the one everyone's been buzzing about in those horrid magazines?" Len's mother asked, and laughed at the look of horror on Miku's face, "Well, that's a yes if I've ever seen one."

"You saw those?" Miku groaned.

"Everyone has, Mi-chan," Len informed her, laughing at her expression.

"Oh, shut up. It's worse for you, Mr. Superstar," Miku declared, crossing her arms. Normally, she might refrain from yelling at someone in front of an adult, especially if that adult was that person's mother. But something about Kagamine Misayo was so easy and accepting. Miku felt comfortable around her. Well, comfortable enough to insult Len if need be.

"True, true. Your agent is pretty furious about the whole thing," Len's mother said in agreement.

"Hiyama need to relax. He's going to collapse from worry someday," Len stated irritably.

"I'm sure he's grateful you care about him," his mother said with a teasing smile.

"Ha, right. You're funny," Len told the woman, pulling his ladle out of the soup and turning a sarcastic expression on the two females at the table, "It's ready. I'm going to put some in a bowl and set it out to cool. Do you want some tea, Mom?"

The woman smiled, but before she could answer, she broke into a fit of coughs. When her breathing settled down enough for her to talk, she said "Yes, please. Thank you, Len."

The boy smiled in return and ladled a decent amount of soup into a bowl he had pulled from a cabinet. Pouring water into a teapot from the kettle that had been on the burner next to the soup, he put the bowl, a cup, and the teapot on a tray to carry to the table.

"I would suggest waiting. It's really freaking hot," Len advised, setting the tray on the table next to his mother.

"Alright, Len," Misayo agreed, smiling as always.

"I'm going to go with Miku to my room. Call if you need anything," he instructed, "Come on, Mi-chan."

Miku stood, gently pushing in her chair, and followed Len out of the kitchen and back down the front hall. He led her up the stairs that were by the front door and own a new hallway. Miku waited as he opened the door to his bedroom.

Miku hadn't been sure what to expect. She wasn't surprised, even if it wasn't what she might've pictured Len's room looking like.

The walls were white. The curtains drawn across the three huge windows were a soft yellow. The bed, which was pushed against one wall, was a mess of orange and yellow blankets, pillows, and sheets. His desk, which sat in front of one of the large windows, was cluttered and messy, papers spilling off the surface and onto the floor. The room was large, but not insanely so. Four speakers, one in each corner of the room, sat playing soft piano music. The stereo sat on a stand next to his large bed, the remote placed on top of it. A huge shelf was placed against the wall opposite his bed, one row filled completely with CDs. The rest of the shelves were devoted to books, both comic and otherwise. His closet doors were flung open to reveal a walk-in closet. Miku saw rows of girls and boys clothes.

"Well, here it is. Try and get comfortable," Len commanded, flopping onto his bed lazily. Miku sat grudgingly beside him, one knee bent in a sort of half crisscross position.

"I expected it to be a lot messier," Miku muttered.

"What, my room? Nah, I don't like things being messy. Makes it hard to find everything," Len replied, "But my desk sure as hell could use a bit of organization. Those drawers are filled with everything from buttons to dolls to knitting magazines."

"Knitting magazines?" Miku asked.

"Yeah. You can get song inspiration anywhere," Len told her, winking, "That's where most, if not all, of my songs are written."

"Hm," Miku ran her gaze over the mess of papers and notebooks, piled high and proud, "So that's the sort of artist you are."

Len laughed. "I guess."

Miku smirked. "So, do you ever actually write songs about your life?"

"God, no," Len exclaimed, sitting up with a serious expression on his face, "I have fangirls reading enough into my songs as it is. I don't need them being right!"

A snicker escaped Miku. "That's such a dumb reason."

"What, like you've ever tried writing a song," Len glared at her. He was a bit touchy when it came to his music.

Miku blushed at that, and Len instantly jumped to conclusions.

"You have?!" he gasped, "Are you actually any good at singing?"

"No. But that doesn't mean I can't write music," Miku shot at him.

"Good point. Rin can't sing worth crap. But she helps me write songs sometimes," Len said, "I've had her do some back-up vocals in songs before."

Now it was Miku's turn to gasp. "Rin's the girl in all those songs?! Are you serious?"

Len nodded. "Sad, really. With such a talented brother, you'd think she could at least carry a tune."

Miku elbowed him. "Shut it. She has a lovely voice."

"Oh, but we both know who's voice you like better," Len grinned almost cruelly as Miku turned red.

"That's-!" Miku choked out angrily. Len poked her in the forehead. With a glare at the boy, she rubbed the spot he had poked

"Ease up, Mi-chan. It's not good to be so angry all the time," Len told her, poking her again but this time in the shoulder.

"Don't tell me what to do," Miku snapped coldly. Len held his amused smile. Miku scooted away from him sharply and he gave her a hurt look. In return, she growled.

"Geeze, you couldn't act like a girl to save your life," Len commented.

"Like you'd know so much about being a girl," Miku accused and then realized it was a stupid thing to say, mainly because Len's smile had just grown significantly.

"Why, yes, I do happen to be more girly than you," Len stated.

"That's not a good thing!" Miku exclaimed, "And no, you're not!"

Len's smirk kept getting bigger and bigger as she spoke. "Wanna bet?"

Miku did not like the look in his eyes as he said this.

* * *

 

"I'm not coming out."

"Oh, come on, Mi-chan!"

"Screw you, Kagamine."

"Mi-chan!"

Len's voice was a whine, muffled by the closed door between them.

"Let me in! It's my room!"

Finally, Miku gave in and let the boy in, opening the door and stepping back. Her arms crossed over her chest, a scowl on her face. Len stopped in an almost dead halt when he saw her.

"Well, I guess you're a girl, after all," he decided.

After telling Miku he'd pay her ten dollars to see her in a dress, she'd refused. After twenty, she almost gave in. At thirty, she decided to stop robbing him and give in. Now, Miku was wearing a dress for the first time in many years. The skirt went down to about the middle of her calves, with two layers of lacy skirt. A strap ran just under her bust, tying up in the back. Across the chest, the soft cloth was ruffled, a bow placed on the top layer. The inch-thick straps wound over her shoulders and attatched to the back of the dress, crossing over each other to connect to the green fabric. The whole ensemble was a light green, the lace trimming on the edge of the skirts being slightly darker. Miku found the dress extremely uncomfortable.

"Of course I'm a God damn girl, you idiot!" she exclaimed angrily, pulling at the strap of the dress.

"Well, I can still out-girl you," Len stated.

"Go ahead and try, Kagamine," Miku growled, feeling insulted. The boy grinned.

"Alright. I'll be right back," he zipped into his closet and disappeared. Miku regretted saying anything at all. Sighing, she settled on Len's bed, crossing her legs and leaning back against her arms. The house was warm, but she wasn't used to wearing a dress. Even with her school uniform, she wore long socks and shorts under her skirt. It just felt weird not to. How could Len, who didn't even enjoy cross-dressing, stand it? She almost felt sympathy for him until she remembered it was his fault she was wearing a dress. The fact that it was his dress made her gag a bit.

"Yo, Mi-chan!" the suddenly hyperactive blond exclaimed as he pushed open his closet door. His hair was pulled into pigtails, his eyelids ever-so-slightly dusted with eyeshadow. His lips shone with chapstick, which he had told Miku he much preferred to lip gloss. He wore a pair of dark skinny jeans over thin legs, a white spaghetti strap placed over the jeans. Over the spaghetti strap shirt, he had a lacy little jacket the color of the night sky. Miku didn't know the exact name for the thing, but it looked cute. Actually, Miku had to admit, Len looked really, really cute as a girl. Miku was kind of jealous and it pissed her off.

"So, whadd'ya think?" he asked, twirling a lock of his hair around is finger and winking. Miku didn't say anything. "Oh, you aren't any fun. I look damn good and I know it."

"Your ego doesn't need to get any bigger," Miku muttered.

"Shush, you. You're just jealous," he teased, smoothing out his jeans. Miku bristled at his comment.

"Jerk," she snapped, tossing a pillow at him. He dodged easily and slipped into his open doorway.

"You know you love me," he proclaimed, sticking his tongue out at her before dashing off out of the room.

Angrily, Miku stood and launched herself after him, her bare feet gripping the wooden floor below, She heard him laughing as he pounded down the stairs.

"Get back here!" she demanded in a yell.

"So you can kill me? I don't think so!" he replied with the same level of volume. Miku growled and increased her speed, rounding a corner as she leapt down the stairs. He was in the sitting room, using the couch as a shield.

Miku jumped the couch, reaching for him, but he managed to evade her, rolling back over the couch and under the coffee table. Quickly, he crawled out from under the rather high coffee table and dashed back out the door. Angrily, Miku followed him again, chasing him through uncountable rooms and doors. Once, she fought her way through a closet only to find a door leading back out of it at the other end.

Finally, she caught him back on the stairs, tackling the boy to the ground as carefully as she could. She sat on one stair and yanked him down to her level, keeping a tight grip on his arm.

"You got me," he panted, falling back against the stairs. Miku didn't have the energy to keep her grip on his arm for long and eventually gave up.

"Damn it, Len. Now I'm too tired to hurt you," she groaned, panting as well. Her legs ached, her heart was pounding, and her lungs seared. But somehow, she felt more alive than she had in a while. Maybe the last few minutes had been tiring and childish, and at first she had been mad, but as time progressed through their game of chase, Miku found herself enjoying the time she was spending with Len. It was like her childhood with Piko. Almost exactly like it, in fact. The silver-haired boy had teased her a lot when they were younger, usually resulting in him running to hide as she, feigning anger, darted after her friend. Miku missed times like those, when relationships were so simple and they could just be children. She was grateful to Len for giving that feeling of simplicity back to her, if only for a while.

"Not like you want to anyway," he grinned, still trying to catch his breath. She offered him a rarity in return; her genuine smile. He almost had a heart attack when he saw that purely happy expression on her face. In fact, he felt himself blush a bit as he thought  _She's actually really pretty when she smiles._

"Nah. Let me catch my breath and I'll give you a piece of my mind," Miku told him, going completely limp on the stairs. Her body screamed with exhaustion, and her eyes closed in an attempt to relax a bit. Len watched her as her breathing became a bit steadier. She seemed as if she was asleep, but he knew she wasn't. He chose to follow her example and sighed contently, letting his eyelids relax as his body did the same. For a few quiet minutes, he glad to be able to sit and soak in the silence.

Before long, they were interrupted by a very, very familiar voice.

"Miku? Len?"

Both opened their eyes to see a shocked Kaito.

And then they realized Len was still dressed like Lin.


	12. Chapter 12

"K-kaito?" Miku managed to stutter out, eyes almost bugging with shock. She felt shaky and her stomach was doing flips, curling in on itself as her heart began to pound. Nothing happened for several seconds as she watched Kaito and Len exchange a glance. She had to think of a cover up, quickly. The look in Len's eyes made her sick; the desperate, pleading fear. He needed help. He needed her help. Gulping down guilt and nervousness, she tried to place a playful smile on her face.

"Kaito, this is Kagine Lin. She's Len's cousin," Miku began. Len turned wide eyes on her, almost relieved. Almost. They didn't know if Kaito bought Miku's lie yet.

"Oh? What's she doing here? Len's never mentioned her before," Kaito sounded suspicious, but other than that there was little emotion in his voice. Miku did her best to smile wider. But she should've known a smile wouldn't fool Kaito. He knew her well, and smiling was not something Miku did for real without reason.

"Len had to run out to meet Rin somewhere, I think. I don't know. It's not like he tells me these things," Miku added a convincing shrug to her act, "She's taking care of Len's mom with me while the Kagamine idiots are out."

It kind of sounded like something Miku would say, but Len shot her a glare, which ruined her acting a bit.

"Huh. Well, I brought some medicine for her. Rin called me up to tell me she was sick and Len was stuck at home in the snow," Kaito tossed the bag at them, a cold look on his face. Miku's blood ran icy and frozen at the look he held on his handsome features.

"The idiot decided to go out in this God forsaken weather, despite my warning. What can I tell you?" she sighed in irritation. Or, at least, she thought that's what the sigh sounded like, "He didn't know you'd be coming over."

"Whatever," Kaito said, turning around to leave, "Bye, Miku."

Neither teen let out their held breath until he had walked out of sight. Len turned to Miku with a strange look in his eyes.

"He didn't buy it," the boy whispered, "Thanks for the effort, though."

"Sure," Miku replied. She didn't feel good at all. That look on Kaito's ever-smiling face made her want to curl up and die.

Len examined her. She looked so sad and lonely. Did Kaito really mean that much to her if hurting him resulted in this? It made him jealous, although she had chosen to help him, as opposed to abandoning him to his desperation. But he was sure Kaito would hate him far more now, if he really didn't believe Miku's lie. Which he clearly didn't. That look in his eyes made all his feelings clear.

"Come on," Len nudged her elbow with his own, "Let's go change back. You can use Rinny's room."

Miku nodded dully, felling her arm being tugged. She lifted herself to her feet. Following Len back up the stairs. She felt herself being pushed through a doorway and into an unfamiliar room. It was Rins' probably, but she didn't feel like looking around at it. Her clothes had been quickly tossed in after her and the door was shut.

Slowly, she began to pull the dress over her gently. In a few painstakingly slow minutes, Miku managed to straighten out her clothes. Once, she put her shirt on backwards. Actually, she might've done it twice. She didn't really know.

Silently, she exited Rin's room and stood in the hallway outside Len's door until it opened, revealing a flushed and very boyish Len. He wouldn't meet her eyes, but she frankly didn't care.

"S-so," his voice seemed to shake a bit. Was he really stuttering? Miku might've been laughing normally, but not then.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"What do you want to do?"

The answer she wanted to give clung on the tip of her tongue. But she forced those words down her throat and replied evenly, "Whatever you decide to do. I don't really care."

And that's how they both ended up in front of the television with first XBOX then Wii then PS2 controllers in their hands. Miku didn't mind; it was a nice distraction. But the video game marathon literally lasted hours, all the way up until a soaked and giggly Rin appeared in the doorway of the giant television room.

"Heya!" she greeted, flopping next to Miku on the couch. This cause Miku to shoot completely off-target on the first-person shooter they were playing. She didn't know the name, but it involved a hell of a lot of violence. She loved it.

Miku shot the blond girl a glare and she giggled an apology.

"Woah, Rin. You're home," Len blinked as he gained another kill.

"Yep! Hello to you, too!" she pouted at him childishly. He smirked and cuffed her over the head, pausing the game as he did. Miku also shot him a glare.

"You're not allowed any sort of advantage over me, Mi-chan," Len told her. She gave him a look of exasperation. He had about fifteen kills more than her and far fewer deaths. She thought it was perfectly fair.

"How's Mom been?" Rin asked, settling back into the couch as the game unpaused.

"She's been good. I think she went back to bed. Probably watching bad daytime T.V. by now," Len replied, eyes glued to the screen

"It's almost dinner," Rin stated.

"Oh, really? What are you going to make?" Len asked, smirking.

Rin wacked him sharply over the back of his head, causing him to toss a grenade directly at his feet, which proceeded to kill him in a large explosion. Miku couldn't help smiling at the glare the boy shot his sister.

"Ass," he muttered.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Rin challenged childishly. Turning to Miku, she smiled widely, as if seeing the light for the first time.

"Hi, Mi-chan!" Oh, God, that stupid nickname. Hadn't she been Miku-san not too long ago?

"Hello, Kagamine-san," Miku replied, smashing down buttons with her thumbs.

"Why're you here?"

"Len was bored," Miku told her bluntly, receiving a look of betrayal from the boy she spoke of.

"I see," Rin raised an eyebrow at her brother, as if she knew something and chose to hide it. He glared back, and Miku punished him for his lack of focus on the game by killing him via head-shot. Rin giggled as he silently fumed, waiting to respawn at a safe place.

"You. Will. Die," Len warned in a growl. Miku smirked.

"Sure, sure. Just come and try," she insisted fearlessly, grinning cruelly as she spoke.

"Oh, it's on now!" Len declared, button smashing as soon as he was revived.

It's amazing how easy it is to amuse teens with a simple, violent video game. They sat for at least another hour, dying and respawing and charging after one another. Rin nearly busted a gut laughing at their reactions and their crude language. Miku didn't mind; she was enjoying herself. It was a great distraction from the events involving Kaito and Lin. Or, more accurately, Len.

Finally, Len set aside his controlled in defeat. He had only managed to get three more kills than Miku in the end, and he was way pest ready for something to eat.

"Alright, ladies. I understand the attraction of video games, but I'm starving," he stated, standing and stretching. Miku heard his back crack.

"We aren't making dinner, if that's what you're suggesting," Rin told him. Miku could only agree.

"You two are useless," he complained in a voice edging toward the whiny end of things, "Alright, I'm making spaghetti and you won't be complaining."

The girls nodded in agreement.

"Don't destroy the house, or any tiny part of it, while I'm cooking," Len instructed, as if they might actually do such a thing. Well, Rin might. Miku would on accident. So maybe they would, after all.

"I'm going to go change. I feel contaminated by work," Rin sniffed her shirt and faked a gag, "See you, Miku. You can explore anywhere you want."

"Just remember what I said," Len warned. Then, he left the room to the girls. And soon Miku was alone as Rin traipsed away to change clothes.

Sighing, Miku dug in her pocket. She had a feeling she might have a few inquiring messages from Mikuo by now, wondering where she had gotten off to. Scanning her phone, she knew she was right. Five texts, three voicemails. Couldn't get worse than that.

But she was surprised only four of the texts were from Mikuo. One was from Kaito.

Miku hated to admit it, but she was terrified to look at it. Her finger hovered over the enter button on her keypad, almost but not quite ready to open the message. In a fit of anger with her own unwillingness and weakness, Miku slammed her thumb onto the button, opening the message.

 

**To:** Miku

**From:** Kaito

**Message:**

I know you were lying.

 

And her heart stopped.

Kaito had not only written in a complete sentence, without a single mistake, but he knew. Oh, God, he knew. Or, at least, he had guessed and was fairly sure.

That horrible sick feeling returned.

Miku's hands shook violently. Was he angry? He was most definitely hurt, by both Len and Miku. She couldn't lose Kaito. His friendship meant so much to her. He was like a child; forgiving and forgetting faster than she could make a mistake. During her year of being bullied, he had tried to pry the information out of her, sulking when she did and said nothing. At that time, they had been dating. Kaito had been more kind to her than any other human being. He could guess what was wrong when she showed up in front of him with a black eye or bruises on her shins from harsh kicks. One time, he had given her a present; a small pendent she wore around her neck. He had said it was meant to protect whoever wore it, and the smile that was on her face showed true and honest concern

He had stuck with her through hell, despite her rotten attitude most recently. Even after she beat up those bullies beyond recognition, he hadn't been frightened of her. The only look Miku had ever seen on his face was sadness and hate. He wished Miku had told him so he himself could destroy those pathetic girls who had harmed his "cute girlfriend," as he put it.

His reason for breaking up with her was because she lied too much, had too many secrets when it would be better to have none. Miku was okay with that; she knew she had hurt him by not revealing the truth. But she was glad her first relationship had been with Kaito Shion, the most kind, gentle, sweet, stupid boyfriend ever.

But just as she lost him as a boyfriend, would she lose him as a friend, too?

Probably. Not even Kaito could put up with her forever. And she never really expected him to. It really would be better if she didn't exist at all.

She would have to add Kaito to the list of people who would be happier if she hadn't been born.

* * *

 

Len literally dragged her out of her wholehearted depression about twenty minutes, probably more, later. He yanked on her arm and pulled her through the house to the kitchen, where Rin was already sitting at the table. To Miku's surprise, two other people sat in chairs around the large table, as well. Their mother, for one. She was still in her bathrobe and looking tired, almost completely worn. Miku wondered whether she should be out of bed.

The other person was Neru. How the girl had managed to sneak in the house without her noticing, Miku couldn't guess.

"Yo, Hatsune-san," Neru greetd with a lazy wave. Miku barely bothered nodding in response.

"Neru is joining us for dinner tonight. Her father didn't want her to be home alone all day, it seems," Misayo told Miku. She had a feeling her own children already knew or just didn't care. Miku was probably the only one with anything against Neru, anyway.

"He ruined my plans of blowing up the house," Neru sighed dramatically as she accepted a plate of pasta covered in rich tomato sauce. Miku could smell basil and other herbs she just couldn't name.

"That's probably what he was afraid of," Rin giggled, digging in almost instantly.

"How'd you get here? Walking?" Len asked.

"I had my friend Gumi drive me. You've seen her, I think," Neru replied, twirling her fork into her food, "Kind of tall, green hair, shy-looking. That's about what she looks like."

"Oh, yeah. I remember her," Len realized, "She's adorable, for such a tall girl."

Miku didn't like the way he put that. What did he mean, 'for a tall girl?' Tall girls could be just as cute as short girls.

"Len prefers short girls," Misayo stated, more for Miku's benefit than anyone else's. Rin and Neru already knew his ideal girl.

"Probably 'cuz he short," Neru supplied, wiping a bit of sauce from the corner of her mouth.

"Jerk," he told his cousin.

"Shota," she replied evenly.

Miku couldn't help snorting at the horrified look on Len's face. It seemed whatever Neru had just called him was basically unforgivable. She didn't know what it meant. Probably some anime term, like tsundere. Teto called Neru tsundere a lot.

"You ever say that word again," he threatened, brandishing his empty fork at Neru, "and I will eat your cell phone. No joke."

"It would be easier just to smash it, you know," Rin informed. "A cell phone would be hard to digest."

"Stay away from my baby," Neru ordered.

Neru's obsession with her small, yellow flip phone had always bugged Miku. The blond girl hadn't gotten a new phone in about three years, according to Teto. That was just insane. Who could make a phone last that long?

The phone, endearingly called "Little Phone-kun" in some of Neru's stranger moments, was almost like a person. A mini person who didn't talk. Or have a personality. Maybe Miku was getting a bit too detailed about such an unimportant thing. The point was, Neru probably cared more about her phone than she did about the entire human race. If she had to choose between saving the lives of every person on Earth and saving her phone, she'd pick the phone and Miku wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

"You need a hobby," Len told his cousin, who was making sure he hadn't somehow managed to get her phone and would gnaw on it next time he found time alone.

"Or a different obsession!" Rin added

"My hobby is bugging Hatsune-san," Neru assured as she reached for the tray of garlic bread placed in the center of the table.

Len glanced at Miku, who rolled her eyes in return. Neither Kagamine sibling seemed surprised by this bit of information.

"It's something," Misayo decided with a gentle smile. She didn't see her niece very often due to conflict between her brother (Neru's father) and her husband. The last time she had seen Neru was maybe last summer, and before that it had been years. The blond girl had grown wonderfully; Misayo thought, and even Miku had to grudgingly admit this, that she must be fairly popular because of how much she had matured physically. Minus her height. Which was still a bit below average.

"Sounds like a fun hobby," Len told her, casting Miku a teasing grin.

"Yep," Neru agreed chomping into a piece of garlic bread and smirking.

"That's what Len does!" Rin exclaimed happily, as if this was a sudden revelation of great maginitude. Miku sighed quietly, amused by Rin's odd way of thinking.

"Didn't I ever teach you that boys only tease and pester you when they like you?" Misayo asked her daughter, the same smile she had kept throughout the meal still resting across her lips. Len made a face as Rin giggled.

"Like Miku? Are you serious?" Len grumbled. "She's the exact opposite of everything I'd want in a girlfriend."

Miku felt a stab of hurt in her chest. That was kind of a mean thing to say, even for Len. She covered her hurt with a half-decent retort.

"Luckily enough for you, I'd say the same," Miku smirked coldly at him and he seemed to realize he had gone a bit far with his teasing.

"But I said girlfriend," Len replied suspiciously.

"And I'm not going to change that wording," Miku winked. Most everyone, excluding Misayo, found this action surprising. Miku was actually teasing Len in return? Usually she'd just be rude or threatening.

"I resent that," Len stated, his voice edging to a whine. Rin giggled again and Neru found herself smirking. The ways Len and Miku interacted were so amusing, really, even if they themselves didn't understand that.

Dinner was finished slowly as the five of them held long conversations with occasional outbursts of laughter. Miku had almost forgotten what eating with a family was like. She liked the Kagamines. They were nice to her. The way Misayo smiled and looked at her children made her both happy and jealous. Len and Rin had so many things she didn't. A loving family, money, so much happiness, a home they wanted to return to. That was just the beginning. They had each other, as well. Len had his fans, who would love him even if his family didn't. Miku wanted all of that. She hoped Len and Rin knew how well they had things.

"Yo, Mi-chan! Help me with dishes!" Len demanded before she could stand from the table.

Miku scowled. "Why me?"

Len's grin widened. "You'll actually help. Those two over there," he gestured to Neru and Rin, who were looking at the pair with almost matching smiles, "Won't do anything, even if I ask."

Miku sighed. "I'm not surprised," she replied. Len kept smiling as he stacked everyone's used plates and silverware together, leaving Miku to grab the cups. The teal-haired teen followed her blond idol, letting her own mouth form a smirk.

"Come on, Ru-chan! Let's go to my room!" Rin demanded from the dining room.

"Help Mom to her bed first!" Len told his sister, mild exasperation slipping into his voice as he ran warm water over the sauce-stained plates.

"Oh! Okay!" Rin sounded awed, as if she completely forgot that her mother was ill. Miku watched as she pulled Misayo out of her chair. The woman was shaky as she stood and Rin had to support her when they left the room, Neru trailing behind.

Len sighed, almost exactly as Miku had before. "Rin needs to pay more attention," he complained, turning the steaming water off.

"You just realized this?" Miku questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I've told you before; she's a bit crazy," Len stated, rolling up his sleeves.

"I don't doubt you," Miku replied, "Not after she attacked you with muffins."

Len grimaced. "That was pretty undignified," he admitted, "You rinse and I'll scrub." Len moved the tap to her side of the sink, letting the water settle on cold.

"Alright," Miku agreed, leaning against the counter. Her side was pressed lightly against his and she could feel the warmth of his skin through her jeans. They were silent for a moment as Len ran a sponge over a plate, his eyes fixed firmly on the glass object in his hands.

"Hey, Miku?" he began.

"Hm?" Miku replied curiously.

"I'm sorry if I was a bit mean earlier. About the whole girlfriend thing," he told her, "You have nice qualities."

Miku blinked, resisting the urge to glance at him. Why was he bringing this up? It wasn't that big a deal.

"Okay," Miku accepted the apologies.

"Actually, you're really cute," Len added. Miku saw the corner of his mouth tilt up even though he still wasn't looking at her.

"Wh-where did that come from?!" Miku demanded as her face became warm. Leave it to Len to make her uncomfortable just as she was beginning to feel safe around him.

He chuckled. "Oh, it's nothing. Just thought you could use a bit of a confidence boost."

He passed her two plates and a cup. In retaliation, Miku filled the cup with cold, soapy water and dumped it over his head. She heard him laugh as she stormed out of the kitchen.

Unknown to her, Len smiled to himself as she left.

_So she's back to normal again,_  he decided, _I'm glad. Happy Miku is kind of creepy._

Unknown to him, Miku also smiled as she left.

_Dumb Len,_ she thought with her own small, bright smile lighting up her green eyes,  _He sure as hell knows how to cheer up a person, I have to admit._


	13. Chapter 13

Miku left the Kagamine household not long after dinner. When she did, Rin tackled her in a good-bye hug.

"Bye-bye, Mi-chan! I hope you come over again soon!" Rin smiled happily before skipping away, up to her room where Neru was still settled.

Len and Miku shared an eyeroll.

"Yeah, bye, Miku," Len told his friend, letting a different sort of smile slip onto his face. This one was less amused and a bit happier, maybe even warmer. This was the smile of Kagamine Len that Miku didn't mind. He seemed to have many smiles; one for teasing, one for cruelty, one for kindness. She liked his current smile best.

"I'll see you later, Kagamine," Miku replied with a very, very small smile of her own.

"Yep," Len responded with a lazy wave as she closed his front door behind herself.

Miku was thrown back into the cold, icy outdoors. The snow had stopped, luckily, but the wind blew just as fiercely, throwing cold flakes into her face and hair, sticking closely to her clothes like a chilly blanket. Her cheeks burned with cold, turning red as she began to make her slow way back to her own house.

Mikuo greeted her when she arrived, accompanied by a large mug of hot chocolate and cookies on a platter. He seemed a bit annoyed that she had been gone the entire day, but held his comments to himself, which was surprising.

Miku happily ate four chocolate chip cookies and guzzled down two mugs of hot chocolate. Both were very enjoyable. It was odd that Mikuo chose to sit by her and wait as she steadily ate through what she had been given. When Miku finished, she looked closely at Mikuo. He had a very serious expression on his face, filled with worry and even a bit of anger. Mikuo, angry? That was something she hadn't seen in a while. He was the level-headed one, after all.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Mikuo sighed heavily. "Mom called earlier."

Those three words buzzed through Miku, chilling her blood more than any freak snowstorm could.

"Yes?" Miku replied after swallowing a large lump of anxiety in her throat.

"We're going to have a very long talk, Miku."

And they did.

* * *

 

Miku was numb for the remainder of the weekend. No one texted or called her. No one bothered to check up on poor little Miku, which was a real shame because she might've just hit an all-time low attitude-wise. She herself attempted to make communication with other people. She resorted to Rin once, but no one answered when she called and her texts remained the same. Len was the same. She wasn't even going to try calling Kaito right now. There was no way she'd go as far as to seek comfort from Neru or Teto. It just wasn't even mentionable.

So Miku was left alone with news of something that made her head spin for the entire weekend. What was she supposed to do? She could barely process what Mikuo had told her. It was all building up with no way to release everything she wanted to say. Maybe if she tried Len's cell  _one more time_ , he would answer.

It never worked out that way.

Neru and Gumi greeted her in the school hallway on Monday with mixed expressions. Gumi offered Miku a polite hello, whereas Neru acted as indifferent as always.

"Len's been depressed all weekend. Did you two have a fight or something?" Neru demanded as soon as Miku had replied to Gumi's greeting.

"No," Miku snapped. Gumi flinched a bit at the harsh tone.

Since discussing her past with Len, Miku had given up on acting like a perfect little girl anymore. She just wasn't. Every time she tried now, it felt so wrong and painful. Fake-Miku reminded her of everything she could never be. Fake-Miku was as harsh and vile as angry-Miku.

Neru looked unconvinced. "You sure?"

"Of course I'm freaking sure," Miku spat. "He hasn't even talked to me since Friday."

"Huh. He's been acting like a total brat since Saturday morning," Neru replied. "I think it was after he came back from a recording session or something."

"That's nice," Miku said sarcastically. "I don't really care." Although she did. Only a little bit, though.

"Yeah, sure. Just try to call him later. Maybe you'll be able to cheer him up," Neru ordered with a wave of her hand, as if she was dismissing Miku.

Miku turned to head to her own classroom, Gumi remaining with Neru as she left the bustling hallway. Miku noticed the look in the green-haired girl's eyes. Was she frightened?

Good. Who cared, anyway? Miku certainly didn't.

Despite these thoughts, she felt guilty about frightening Gumi. The girl had always been fairly sweet and friendly to Miku. But being looked at with fear made Miku feel sick and so angry. It hurt more than most things she could imagine.

With a sigh, Miku slid into her seat, letting her forehead slip to the desktop. Her body felt drained already and many hours of school were left. How would she manage?

Simple. Ignore everything going on around her.

* * *

 

School ended, leaving Miku with a solid feeling of relief. She really couldn't stand one more minute inside, surrounded by stupid teens who she felt were constantly judging her. Why would anyone like school? The idea was insane to Miku. No one she knew liked school.

She really expected to see Len standing by the front gates. It had become habit to glance out the window during her final class to check for that familiar head of blond hair. But disappointment that she wouldn't admit to filled her chest when she saw no one there. Even after school, she stood hesitantly by the gate, eyes glancing over students. No one was Len. Would he be there?

Miku shook that hope from her thoughts. Without him hanging around, she'd have a chance to rush home before Neru and Teto dragged her off somewhere. But…

She didn't want to leave. If she did, would Len show up? Would he be left there waiting? Miku didn't want to risk his complaints later on. Of course that was the only reason. Why wouldn't it be?

God, Miku was bad at lying to herself.

"Miku?" she heard and turned hopefully. She was let down when the only person she saw was Piko, who looked concerned.

 _Why am I disappointed? It's Piko; I love seeing Piko,_  Miku reasoned quietly as the boy approached her.

"You've been standing there for a while," Piko told her.

"Does that mean you've been staring for a while?" Miku smirked in an attempt to lighten the mood hanging between the pair.

Piko blushed in a very un-Piko-like way. Miku couldn't help but notice.

"N-no," he replied. "I was just a bit worried."

"No need," Miku waved away his concern. "I'm fine."

Piko rolled his eyes, which was a lot more normal for him. "Don't be stupid. I can read you pretty well."

"Oh, really?" Miku questioned bitingly. "Well, same to you, Piko. What's up with you? Blushing really isn't like you."

This caused Piko to blush again and lie through his teeth about it.

"I haven't blushed since I was ten," he retorted, red-faced. Miku could resist a rising smirk. He was ridiculous sometimes. Even a little adorable. Just like the little boy she had tried so hard to protect from cruel bullies. Despite his attitude now, he used to be so weak. Miku would never forget the times he would openly cry.

"I believe you just as much as you believe me," Miku replied. "Is it a girl?" She knew it was, but teasing him was so fun. A small amount of pain clenched at her heart as he once again blushed.

"Absolutely not. You're so pushy," Piko told her.

Miku was done playing around the topic. Just completely done. "Piko, I know you like Rin-san."

Piko froze. He looked surprised, as if he never believed Miku would notice.

"She's… funny," he stated. Miku gave him a knowing look. "But I don't like her!" he added quickly.

"Cut the bullshit, friend. I've known you long enough to know the type of girls you crush on," Miku rolled her eyes, holding back the feelings rising in her chest.

Piko eyed her. She couldn't identify the look in his eyes; it was too complicated for words.

"This may sound egotistical of me," Piko began, "but why aren't you upset?"

Miku blinked. "What?" she asked, hoping he wasn't referring to what she thought he was.

"I thought… You… Have a crush on me?" Piko stated it almost as more of a question. Miku's hard smile froze and broke to pieces.

"What gave you that idea?" she questioned, resisting the urge to gulp down fear. Fear? Of what?

 _Rejection,_ her brain told her.

 _The truth,_  her heart whispered.

The truth about what? She already knew Piko didn't like her. It was obvious. That was the only truth she could see here.

"It's just a guess," Piko replied quietly.

"You're as bad at guessing in real life as you are on quizzes at school," Miku smirked easily, attempting to cover any stray emotions that might run across her features.

"And you're never going to be able to fool me," Piko replied, voice edging towards a cold tone that Miku didn't want to hear directed at her.

"I know the truth," Miku replied. "You're just going to have to trust that I'm telling it to you. Now, Piko," she took a breath, "what's stopping you from telling Rin?"

"Way to change subject," Piko stated. "She's four years older than me, for one thing. For another, we're not similar at all. I'd get rejected."

"If you say so. We'll finish this conversation later. It's too damn cold for this nonsense," Miku told him. He seemed to agree as he was the first to turn away to leave.

Miku sighed. Her chest ached at the sight of him leaving. It was silly, really. She had never been very serious about her crush. Not only that, but countless other teens lost people they loved every day. Not just teens; adults and children, too. Those people, the majority, managed to live through that pain. Miku wasn't even losing him. They were still friends. But why did she feel so alone now?

Miku sniffed heavily, felling the potential for tears build against her lids. Holding down sobs hurt physically and mentally. But crying felt so weak and stupid. It was just Piko. Even if he ever got a girlfriend, he would never leave Miku.

Right?

So that was her fear. If Piko directed his attention at any other girl, she would be almost completely alone. Miku couldn't handle that. Was that the basis of her crush on him?

Pathetic.

Miku ducked her head and turned to walk home. She hadn't forgotten she was still on school grounds. No doubt someone would notice the teal-haired Hatsune girl before long.

She was blocked, however. Four tall senior girls with gentle-looking features and neat uniforms stood before her. Not one looked happy, but not one of them looked unhappy, either. Maybe "serious" was the word for them.

"Hatsune Miku-san?" a blond girl (with bunny ears?! That was odd, even for someone at Miku's school) asked darkly.

"Yeah?" Miku replied, gulping down emotions as she often did.

"I'm Amane Luna. You might not know my name," the blond girl held out a hand, her serious expression shifting a friendly smile. "I'm a reporter for the school paper. My mother is the editor of a popular gossip magazine."

"And?" Miku asked, not liking where this conversation seemed to be heading.

"I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes for an interview. I've heard that you are dating Kagamine Len," the girl winked suggestively. As soon as she had heard Miku's confirmation of her identity, all seriousness had escaped her.

"I-" Miku began. The girl instantly read the look of displeasure on her face.

"It won't take long! Just twenty minutes! I want the scoop on that idol boyfriend of yours!" the girl excitedly removed a pen and a small notebook from her pocket, leaning in, pen poised to jot down notes and quotes. Her friends seemed equally interested, yet slightly less hyperactive.

"I'm not-" Miku tried once again to get in her response, but the pushy reporter talked over her.

"How did you meet Kagamine-san?" the blond demanded, eyes narrowing in concentration. "How long have you been dating? How serious is it?"

"W-wait a moment-" Miku blinked in confusion as more words and questioned poured from Amane Luna's mouth.

"Have you kissed yet? How long have you know Kagamine-san? Hatsune-san, can you tell me-"

The girl was finally silenced as a new person arrived, butting into the conversation easily. Miku suddenly felt someone beside her, drawing her a bit closer. She glanced up to see Rei. Dark-haired, gloomy-looking Rei. Rei with intense golden eyes. Rei who also happened to be the boy Miku attempted to beat on. What was he doing?

Miku didn't try to move away as Rei spoke. Quite frankly, she was a bit surprised they were making any sort of contact again. Most people tried to avoid her after being pounded on. Maybe it was the surprise that froze her. She wanted to know what was going on.

"Hatsune-san never agreed to speak with you or answer a single question," Rei stated bluntly. The blond girl, Luna, blinked and then narrowed her lovely blue eyes. Threateningly, she brandished her pen at him like a danger.

"Come on, Kagene! Don't ruin my scoop!" Luna demanded, the other seniors nodding in agreement next to her.

"Amane-san," Rei began in a low voice, "Don't be so rude."

Luna allowed herself to snort in amusement. "Says the Ice Prince," she retorted.

Rei didn't react to her comment. When she realized he was quiet, she put her hands on her hips and centered a glare at the dark boy.

"What's it to you, anyway?" Luna asked rudely. "Kagamine Len is the most famous celebrity. I just wanna know the details."

"No one has even proved Hatsune-san and Kagamine-san are dating," Rei reasoned in the same monotone voice he had used throughout this exchange.

"Has anyone disproved it?" Luna stated angrily. Miku had to admit she had a point.

"That is not the point. Don't bother people. I've received many complaints about you especially, not just the newspaper club. Keep it up and I'll have you disbanded," Rei told the girls. Luna looked furious.

"It's technically after school, Mr. President. You don't have any authority," Luna challenged.

"These are school grounds," Rei pointed out. Luna glared in response.

"Why can't you just bug off!" Luna retorted, stomping her foot in a very childish manner. "Hatsune-san never said she  _wouldn't_  answer questions! I want to know about her and Kagamine Len!"

Rei sighed. "You're very childish, Sempai. I suppose if I must, I will tell you," Rei spoke cryptically, more to himself than anyone else.

"Hatsune Miku and I are already a couple. Of course she isn't dating Kagamine Len," Rei said. Miku felt a mug grin rise to her face as Luna looked completely surprised. Then the pigtailed girl realized what the boy had said.

"You can't be serious! Why would such a bright and cheery-looking girl date someone as depressing as you?" Luna demanded in disbelief.

Rei once again sighed, a bit dramatically.

"What have I said about rudeness?" Rei asked. "Now, will you leave her alone? It's quite bothersome."

Rei had managed to wrap his arm around her waist to make the lie seem more plausible. Although his warmth was nice is such snow-dampened cold, Miku felt very awkward. Imagine if anyone saw her. That would be unbearably embarrassing.

"Fine! You win again, Kagene!" Luna snapped, turning to storm off. Her friends rushed after her, scarves bouncing in the air.

Rei rubbed his eyes after he had released Miku from his close hold. The two stood silently.

"You-" Miku began, her voice breaking a bit. Coughing briefly, she tried again, "Thanks, I guess."

"After our fight, I felt as though I owed you a favor. I hope I haven't embarrassed you too much," Rei stated.

"Not too much," Miku grumbled as she avoided his eyes. Those golden beauties scanned the small girl carefully; she could feel them trace over her cold face.

"It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable," Rei replied. Was he trying to reassure her?

"I know. You did help," Miku told him quickly. Now she was reassuring him? What was going on?

"I'm somewhat glad, I suppose," Rei dully stated. "If there is nothing else to be said, I will be leaving. Good afternoon, Hatsune-san."

Miku nodded, but in the next second found herself loudly stopping him.

"Kagene-san!" she exclaimed quickly. He turned back to look at her, a quizzical expression on his face.

"it's just… I…" Miku started, haltingly. "I'm trying to say… What I want to say… Will you accompany me to a café?"

Rei blinked. Confusion was an emotion he didn't often feel, but it was evident on his handsome features.

"Yes," he finally agreed after an uncomfortable silence. Miku felt her face redden.

 _I just wanted to apologize. Why did I have to ask him that?_  Miku wondered with an ounce of self-loathing. Sometimes her own stupidity amazed even her.

* * *

 

The two teens entered the warmth of the small café some time later, a blond girl greeting them from the counter.

"Mi-chan!" Rin called happily, pausing as she caught site of Rei. "Oh! And Mi-chan's friend!

"Hello, Rin-san," Miku replied as Rei eyed the hyperactive blond.

"What do you want to drink?" Rin asked brightly when the pair had made their way to stand in front of the counter. Rei scanned the menus hanging above her, dulled eyes skipping over drinks and pastry options.

"I'll just have hot chocolate," Miku told Rin. "Small, please."

"White chocolate mocha. Whipped cream, please," Rei added his order. Miku blinked. That was a surprisingly sugary order for someone like Rei.

"Excellent! Go sit down and I'll bring over the drinks when I finish them!" Rin instructed, waving the pair away. Miku and Rei found a table in the corner to sit, away from most everyone else occupying the small café. Rei gazed around, eyes landing on paintings for sale on the walls. A lovely one above Miku's head showed a simple meadow scene, rolling clouds lazily spreading across a blue sky.

"That girl… Is very excitable," Rei decided quietly.

"That's one word for it," Miku mumbled, crossing her legs in an attempt to make herself look as small as possible. Rei's scrutinizing gaze made her feel so odd. She couldn't explain it, really.

"I was being kind," Rei stated. Glancing up at him, Miku saw his eyes directed out the window they sat by and relaxed a bit.

"Why did you ask me here?" Rei broke a silence Miku was quite content with.

Miku shifted her weight from one side of her chair to the other, searching for an answer.

"I don't know," she confessed. "I guess it's my way of apologizing."

Rei's eyes slid back to her. The way he had his chin placed on the palm of his hand made him look like a disinterested student. "Apologizing," he repeated. Miku didn't understand the look on his face and kept quiet as he looked at her. Damn it. Why was he so hard to read?

"No need for that," he finally said.

"Of course there is," Miku argued a bit roughly. Rei eyed her oddly.

"Perhaps we should accept the unsaid apologies of each other and move on," he suggested after a while.

"I can agree with that," Miku replied. They remained silent and content until their drinks were brought to them.

"Here you go!" a blond person who was most certainly not Rin exclaimed as the drinks were placed before them, steam rising up through the lids. Miku jumped a bit at the sound of the overly happy voice.

"Damn you, Len!" she glared at the boy (who was dressed as Lin at the moment) and pulled her cup closer. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Len snickered as Rei offered his attention to their exchange. "Rin's co-worker called in sick, so I decided to help out today." He winked at her. "What do you think of the outfit?"

He wore a simple blue dress, a ruffled apron over said dress. It clashed with his eyes, making them much more intense.

"Idiot," Miku sighed, lifting her hot chocolate to her lips. After taking a burning sip, she set down the cup as her eyes watered and her tongue sizzled in her mouth.

"It's hot," Len warned playfully, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

"Shut the hell up," Miku snapped. "Why'd you ignore me all weekend?"

Len pouted very girlishly. "I was depressed. Besides, you aren't upset, are you?" he replied.

Miku snorted comically. "As if," she lied.

Len allowed a smile to sneak onto his lips. "Tsundere," he sang teasingly. Miku shot him a fierce glare.

"Jackass," she stated. Len smirked, clearly unfazed.

"Whatever, Mi-chan. Enjoy your drinks! Oh, and you too, Miku's friend who I don't know!" Len disappeared back behind the counter as Rin giggled to herself.

Miku found this odd. Normally, Len would probably stick around and bug her. Not only that, he would want to know about her "friend," which would likely involve teasing. Len wasn't the type to ignore such an opportunity. Miku was surprised he didn't even ask for Rei's name or something. Len just… left. So unlike him.

"You have odd friends," Rei told her, staring into the coffee he had clasped between his hands. The lid had been removed, revealing a large amount of whipped cream sprinkled with cinnamon.

"I noticed," Miku replied with a half-hearted chuckle. Actually, Rin and Len were quite amusing. When they weren't irritating. Which was most of the time.

"You are less of a loner than I expected," Rei stated as he sipped at his coffee. Miku didn't know whether to laugh or glare. She chose to glare.

"Says you," Miku retorted. "I haven't even heard of you before, and we go to the same school. What does that show about you?"

Rei shrugged. "I guess you just weren't paying attention at the right times," he replied. "I am the senior class president."

Miku was confused by this. "Senior? You look too young to be a senior."

"I skipped a grade," Rei explained. "I'm about to turn seventeen."

Miku gaped. "You're  _my_ age."

"I thought you were younger before I looked at your record," Rei replied bluntly.

"I didn't know students were even allowed to do that," Miku challenged a bit angrily. Who was he to make such assumptions? Yes, she was a bit small and maybe even underdeveloped, but you don't tell people stuff like that!

"A teacher had me sort file cabinets on an off-period I had. I ran across your folder and glanced at it," Rei admitted in a very unashamed way.

"That… I can't even… What made you think that was okay?" Miku spluttered as her face turned red.

Rei shrugged again. "I've seen the files of other students. I don't see a problem. It's not like I look at anything past the basic information. Age, class, grades, name. All the information on the first page is mine for the taking. I'm not that rude."

Miku's face would not settle back down. She felt invaded. No one should be able to find out things about her so easily.

"You're just an academic miracle," Miku told him sarcastically in response to his school success.

"Not really," Rei replied. Miku couldn't tell if he was being humble or if he honestly believed it. Probably the second one, but she really couldn't read this boy enough to decide.

"Probably first in your class," Miku snorted ruefully. Admittedly, she was jealous. She had to work very, very hard on her school work for her academic placing.

Rei nodded simply. The two sat silently for a long time as the chilly wind outside blew and their coffees grew steadily colder. Just as Miku was about to say something to break yet another silence, she heard Rei's phone ring. Carefully, the boy pulled it from his pocket and raised an eyebrow before answering the call.

"Hello, Rui," he paused, waiting for the person on the other end of the line to reply. An angry shriek could be heard ever so slightly under the lull of chatter in the café. Miku couldn't make out the words being said but Rei's face remained impassive.

 _Rui is Rei's sister, right? The girl from before,_  Miku thought, remembering their first interaction on the day she decided to skip school. She had been called Rui, right?

"I understand," Rei replied after a pause in the shrieking.

Miku cringed as she heard a loud yell from the phone.

 _"Do you?! Do you really?"_  the angry voice of a high-pitched female demanded. Rei remained emotionless, listening to a barrage of hate from the phone's speaker.

"Yes, of course I do, Rui," he said. Miku tried to read any amount of emotions that might pass over his face. Nothing happened. A stoic, empty expression remained there as Rei stared into space, his angry little sister yelling loudly at him through a bad phone speaker.

"I'll be home at once," Rei reassured the girl submissively. He ended the call with the press of a button and slid the phone back into his pocket. Looking dead at Miku, he bluntly stated, "My sister heard about my lie. She believes that I am actually going out with you, Hatsune-san. I don't think 'angry' is the correct word to describe her."

Miku bit her lip nervously. So his sister was angry because of that? Did she hate Miku that much? Or was she just possessive of Rei? It could be either one, although Miku thought the first one would be more plausible.

"I'm sorry for that, then," Miku said. "It was only to help me, after all."

Rei waved away her apology. "No such words are needed. Rui has a temper, as I know well. But it is entirely my fault for letting her act that way."

Miku accepted this, watching him stand.

"Do you just let your sister control your life?" Miku demanded.

"Some may see it that way. I don't," Rei replied. "Rui is… very unbalanced. She's my little sister. I can't do anything but care for her."

With that final sentence hanging in Miku's ears, the boy left, a bell over the door tinkling lightly as the door opened and closed, letting in a brief blast of cool winter air.

 _Everyone in my life seems to have family issues,_  Miku thought.  _Though his sound the worst._

She really should've guessed that Len (Lin, if you want to specific) would come over and sit across from her, right in Rei's seat. Well, Rei's vacant seat. He had left, after all.

"So, Mi-chan," the blond boy began with a twinkle of teasing light dancing in his blue eyes, "who was that boy? Someone special I should know about?"

"Idiot. He's the one I beat up," Miku replied coldly. "You stopped me, remember?"

"Eh? Oh, yeah," Len replied. Miku had to snicker at the look of realization on his face, as well as the mirror of that emotion in his voice.

"He's no one special. Not the way you mean, anyway," Miku added casually, sipping at her diminishing hot chocolate. It was almost gone now.

"Well, that's good," Len decided.

Miku glanced up at the boy to find him completely serious.

"What?" she asked blankly.

"Do you want to know why I didn't talk to you all weekend?" Len continued, looking almost ill. Was he nervous? "I was thinking things over. I had a recording session on Saturday and Kaito was there."

Miku felt ill now, too. She had wanted to forget about the Kaito situation. Bringing it up again made her feel downright horrible.

"We talked. Actually, it kind of turned into a fight," Len admitted, avoiding Miku's eyes now. "He knows I'm Lin. God, I've never seen Kaito so livid. Or so heartbroken. Except when… well, when you two broke up."

Miku shifted awkwardly in her chair, crossing and uncrossing her ankles and moving her eyes to the tabletop as Len had.

"He admitted some things. I admitted some things. We both got pretty angry. In the end, it came down to this," Len folded his hands together carefully, studying each finger before continuing. "The only reason Kaito ever got over you was because of Lin. Without Lin, he'd still be just as in love with you as he was two or three years ago."

Miku's stomach flipped. She couldn't even process that properly.

"He also kind of said… um… now that he knows I'm Lin, he's pretty much gotten over her." Len chuckled half-heartedly. "Wow, it's weird referring to Lin as a different person." With a sigh, he slumped a bit in his chair. "Kaito decided he's still in love with you."

Miku's head shot up. That was news. Big news. Miku had never imagined that Kaito would like her for so long. Kaito wasn't the type to chase after girls, especially after they broke his heart. Miku knew she had done that in middle school. She hadn't trusted him enough. That was reason enough for a broken heart.

"I ended up telling Kaito something similar."

Len's confession sent a jolt through Miku. She fought for contact with his eyes, which he finally permitted after feeling her hot gaze burning into him.

"Miku, I think I'm starting to fall for you myself," the boy admitted. Miku felt her heart rate speed up.

Was he serious? They hadn't known each other very long. Miku could count the weeks on her fingers. Could Len really like her after such a short time? Admittedly, she found him attractive. But she didn't have a crush on him. She liked Piko. Who liked Rin. What a cruel twist of fate this was turning out to be.

"Len," she started, gulping down a nervous knot winding itself up in her throat. Her eyes burned. Was she going to cry? It wouldn't be a surprise if she did.

"Miku, I think I like you," Len repeated, as if he himself could not believe the words. "You're so broken and weak but my God, do you have a temper. You've honestly interested me since we first met. I wanted to know those secrets you had kept for so long. I wanted to see kindness from you."

"Len," Miku repeated his name with a heavy heart. She didn't like him. She didn't.

So why did she feel so guilty? So willing to say 'I like you, too?'

"I suppose I should expect a reaction like that," Len chuckled wryly. "You like Piko, after all."

_Yes, I like Piko. But please…_

Len smiled sadly at her. "It's so obvious, Mi-chan. You aren't nearly as good at hiding things as you think."

_Len, don't…_

"I'll go, then," Len decided after gaining no reaction from Miku.

_Don't leave me._

Miku stood before he could go, tackling him from behind in a hard, tight hug. She would've enjoyed it more if Len had been dressed as a boy.

"Len," she whispered. "Don't do this to me."

He froze at that. Though Miku couldn't see with her face pressed into his back, soaking in the scent of the blue fabric, his eyes widened in confusion and shock. What did she mean by that?

"I can't lose someone else," she continued. Now Len was very, very confused.

"I'm not leaving you," Len reassured, swallowing his pride.

"I'm leaving you."

Len's heart stopped.

"I'm moving to Germany."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original author's note:
> 
> If anyone's confused about the sudden "moving to Germany" thing, it was what Miku and Mikuo talked about at the beginning of the chapter. I think. It's been a while since I wrote that part...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> I hate this story. I hate this chapter. I hate teen angst.  
> I am seriously considering putting this story on a hiatus until I hate it less. I want to delete it. Gah. I'm being childish.  
> I can see the end of this story. I have it pretty much planned out. It won't be as long as I thought, but blame that on my hatred for my own writing.  
> Excuse the idiotic time-jump. I'm trying to move things along a bit.  
> The F-word is used once or twice, I think. Just a warning for those who are offended by language.  
> Done complaining. Here's the chapter :)

Hatsune Miku's senses felt dull. There were people around her, she knew, but seeing them took energy and empathy she simply didn't have. The next week – yes, an entire week – drew out slowly and even a bit painfully. That pain eventually turned to a numb buzz in the back of her mind.

It had taken a while for the realization that she was moving to hit her and burry needle-sharp teeth in her skin. Not only was she moving, but it had to be to Germany. Goddamn Germany. A completely different continent. Across an ocean and Asia. Holy hell. Miku couldn't even imagine it.

Mikuo had told her everything about the move last Friday. That conversation would probably never be forgotten by either Hatsune sibling. Not anytime soon, anyway.

Their mother had called while Miku had been enjoying herself at Len's house, choosing to fill her son in on the details since she and Miku probably couldn't be civil to each other long enough to get in a word about the move. The first announcement had been the divorce the Hatsune parents were getting. If that wasn't enough of a shock, their mother also said that, for the sake of their financial state, they would be moving to Germany, where her German father and Japanese mother lived.

 _"It's always nice to be closer to family,"_  were the exact words spoken by the woman, according to Mikuo, who didn't bother pointing out the flaw in this argument.

Of course, as if that bullshit wasn't enough, life decided to pile on romantic drama and a hell-ton of worry. Hence Miku's lack out outward emotion for the last week. Inside, however, her emotions and her thoughts never seemed to quiet down. Concern for her relationship with Kaito to guilt about generally ignoring everyon who contacted her gnawed severely on her nerves, leaving invisible wounds that didn't seem to be healing. And what of Mikuo? He must be suffering as well. She was so selfish, ignoring him so completely. Cooped up inside herself with no way of reassuring him that everything would be okay, just as she wanted to do for herself. No way of expressing her emotions to Len or Kaito or Piko or Rin, either. No one would ever hear of her gratitude for their friendships and patience.

She simply wanted to die. But what remained of her pride would allow no such thing to happen by her hand.

So Miku existed in a state of repressed pain and inner turmoil. She barely spoke a single word during that week. Not when Rin came by on Tuesday to watch some stupid comedy with her. The blond had simply sat next to Miku under a blanket, giggling lightly and occasionally glancing over to see if the expression on Miku's face had changed. It never did. Even on the next day, when Mikuo played a completely dead-silent game of chess with her. She couldn't even remember who won. The day after that, it had been Len's turn. Yes, she remembered that much. He had dragged her to an art show with Yukari and Aria. Piko had been with her the most, though, not even attempting to force her into anything. Instead, he fell asleep on the couch next to her. Not even that could bring a smile to Miku's face.

On Friday, no one came. Miku was alone in a room being slowly emptied as things were placed in boxes at the end of each day. It felt like her soul itself was being packed away into those dark, tighly covered containers. But it was necessary. The moving date had been set for mid-February, a day not too far off. She wouldn't even be there for Valentine's day.

On Saturday, Miku's mother arrived at the house. The woman rarely returned to her own house. Often times, she would sleep in a room at the hotel she worked at. But that day was special. She was a woman on a mission. Miku, on the other hand, couldn't muster enough strength to care at all. No fear rose in her chest when the woman breezed into the living room with a stack of boxes in her arms. But she'd sooner eat live bees soaked in vinegar than stay in that house with that woman. So Miku left.

With nothing but her heaviest coat to defend her fragile body against the cold, Miku sat on a park bench overlooking a lake. The lake was mostly frozen over, murky water pushing up through cracks in the thick ice. Ducks who clearly didn't understand the concept of winter flapped and called as they skidded on the ice, trying to figure out why they couldn't settle on the water as they usually did. Miku watched them quietly, filtering in the sound of ducks and people chattering and laughing through ears filled with muffled buzzing.

Her eyes never broke from the surface of the frozen lake, even when a child with more cheer than aim knocked her over the head with a snowball.

"Eh! Oh, I'm so sorry!" the embarrassed child called from his place behind his tree shield. His friends teased lightly about his complete inability to hit the backside of an elephant with throws like that, causing said boy to dump a treefull of snow on them as he reached to shake the branches. Miku never had a chance to tell him she didn't care.

Snow dripped down her back from the misdirected snowball, but Miku simply sat, letting waves of cold wash over her. Maybe she would stop feeling numb if there was enough physical pain involved.

Miku let herself sigh. No, that was a stupid idea. It wasn't like being able to express herself would fix anything, anyway. Her mother would never change plans because Miku lost her temper. Her father would never accept his daughter as such, which meant she couldn't stay with him. Not that she wanted to.

She suddenly felt a scarf wrap around her neck. Glancing up with dulled surprise in her green eyes, Miku was intrigued to see Rei there, hands in pockets, missing his dark blue scarf. The scarf that was now around Miku's snow-soaked neck.

"You look more and more depressing each time I see you," Rei told her.

 _Someone you can relate to,_  Miku wanted to reply.

"Come on. Get out of the cold," he instructed, pulling her up by her elbow. She obliged, allowing him to pull her across the park and into a super market where warm air melted the snow clinging to their boots and pants.

"Idiot. Going outside dressed as you are," Rei sighed, knocking a mound of melting snow from her hair. She hadn't bothered brushing off the unwarranted snowball, allowing it to fall in flakes across her shoulders and hair.

"How did you find me?" Miku asked. Unless Rei just happened to be there, which was unlikely.

"Gumi mentioned something to me about your current depression. She's the one who suggested looking by the park if I wanted to find you," Rei replied with another angst-filled sigh.

Miku didn't say anything in response. That's all she wanted to know.

"I've seen you around school," Rei picked up the conversation as he pulled her into the small Starbucks in the corner of the store. "You never looked happy."

Miku stood beside him in the line to get coffee. Admittedly, she could do with a warm drink but didn't have any money with her. Oh, well.

"I'm not happy," Miku finally decided after a few moments.

Rei said nothing sarcastic, like others might. Instead, he paused briefly before saying, "I suppose you shouldn't be."

"No," Miku agreed, quietly. The line moved forward and Rei ordered two drinks. Miku didn't hear what either of them was.

"I already know, Hastune-san. The teachers mentioned your move while discussing class size," Rei said. "They aren't hard to overhear."

Miku didn't speak as he sat them at one of the few tables in the small Starbucks store. Quietly, she took the drink he offered, smelling the rich chocolate in the cup she held.

"I don't quite understand this feeling, but I think that your life was just starting to get better before this announcement came about," Rei stated, sipping his steaming drink. Miku stared down at her own cup silently. She could accept that this guess of his was the truth. Her life really had been getting a bit better. But now everything was confusing and painful again. This time, though, it wasn't her fault.

"Yes," she agreed simply. Her voice was a bit darker and more quiet than normal, unlike her usual gentle speech. It was an easy thing to notice.

"Hatsune-san," Rei began, "are you really just going to sit there and be so calm about that whole thing?"

Miku didn't reply, sensing a bit of anger in his voice. Rei was… angry? Angry enough to express it? Why?

"That's simply pathetic," he stated. "I thought you might have more fire than that."

Miku sighed gently but aside from that responded in no way.

"As long as you're listening, I don't care what you do," Rei told her. "I can't believe I'm the one that has to tell you this."

"Then don't say anything," Miku replied, voice ending towards a cold hiss.

"That's a bit better. I liked it better when you were angry," Rei huffed slightly. Miku eyes him silently.

"Making me angry won't get you anywhere," Miku said.

Maybe she was imaging it, but Rei seemed to smile a bit.

"I think that's a wonderful idea," he said.

* * *

 

Miku questioned his sanity as he lead her back to the park, seating her on that cold bench as he kneeled in front of her.

"Why don't we try to make you angry?" Rei suggested. "Anger seems to be your driving emotion. It would be better than this nothing you've been expressing thus far."

Miku doubted he could actually get her angry, but for argument's sake sat quietly as he looked her dead in the eye.

"Hatsune Miku," he began, "I don't think I've ever met a girl as annoying as you."

If anything, Miku had to try not to smirk. "That isn't even very insulting," she stated evenly.

"Shut up. I have a chance to insult someone and I'm going to take it," Rei replied. What had happened to the quiet, unemotional boy she had been talking to at the café on Monday?

"Good luck," she muttered. Rei sighed.

"This will be simple enough," Rei decided with an odd glint of determination in his eyes. Yes, he was most certainly insane. With a deep breath, he opened his mouth again. The words that escaped his mouth would normally freeze any person to their seat with surprise. Miku, however, found this entire exercise to be a giant waste of time.

After a pause in the taunts and ridicules Rei was spouting, Miku sighed and allowed herself to say, "This isn't working at all." Rei had to admit she was right.

"You're probably the angriest person I know. I'm sure something I do will work eventually," he replied. Was he actually enjoying this?

Go figure; he was secretly a total asshole with opinions about everyone.

"I'll humor you for a bit longer," Miku replied dully. Before Rei could say anything, however, another voice joined them.

"Well, I guess we found her," Kagamine Rin nodded confirmation as both Rei and Miku glanced up at the newcomers.

Piko, Kaito, Len (dressed as his female alter-ego) and Rin stood some ways away with mixed looks on their faces.

"Yo, Miku," Piko greeted. Miku raised a hand to wave loosely.

"Mikuo sent out an all-call after not hearing from you," Rin explained happily, smiling at the teal-haired girl on the bench.

"I'm fine," Miku stated. "Rei's being stupid."

"Rei? That's your name?" Rin asked, attention directed at the raven-haired boy who had decided to stand now. "Hi, Rei! I'm Rin! I saw you at the café!"

"Yes," Rei replied. "Hello, Rin-san."

Rin beamed brightly, making Miku want to groan. She didn't, of course, but the urge was certainly strong.

"You seem to be alive," Len commented. Kaito visibly rolled his eyes. Obviously, neither of them wanted to be anywhere near the other.

"We were planning on dragging you off to a movie!" Rin exclaimed, dancing up to Miku and leaning down to meet her eyes. "Unless you have plans with a certain boy~" Rin giggled. Kaito's expression soured while Len and Piko rolled their eyes.

"No," Miku stated. She couldn't even gather energy to feel embarrassed. But she didn't like the sudden spark of inspiration in Rei's eyes.

"Actually," he started, glancing down at Miku, "we had a date planned."

Rin blinked, smile dropping then reforming. Len looked a bit shocked, while Piko seemed to be holding back laughter. Kaito face-palmed at Rin's reaction, although a scowl had formed on his attractive features.

"Ohhh, a date? I see how it is!" Rin giggled again. "Why wasn't I told about this?"

Miku felt her chest collapse in on itself as Rei looked down at her and  _oh, my God, was he smirking?_  Miku didn't like that look at all.

"We've been dating for a while," Rei admitted falsely.

 _No, we haven't. Quit telling people that!_  Miku shrieked internally. But the final straw was when he leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

The kiss wasn't all that bad. Actually, Miku enjoyed kissing in general. But having the eyes of every one of her friends fixed on them made her face heat up. When Rei pulled away from her face, she saw a look of success on his face.

 _I did it_ , his eyes read.  _I made you angry._

And he certainly had.

"What the fuck?!" she demanded, shooting off the bench. "Kagene Rei, I am going to stab you with an icicle and leave you for the birds to pick at!" With a heavy blush on her face, she shoved him away, wiping her mouth on her coat sleeve. She couldn't believe it, but the idiot was actually laughing.

"It is  _not_  funny!" she shrieked. "You are a complete asshole! I don't think I've ever wanted to kill someone more!"

"I finally made you angry," Rei pointed out, using his hands to stifle harsh chuckles as her four friends looked on in disbelief. Kaito looked ready to murder someone, whereas Piko was biting his lip to keep from laughing himself. Rin had a look of wide-eyed, innocent confusion on her face. Len seemed generally stunned.

"You sure as hell did!" Miku told him. "Want a fucking gold star? I could rip your eyes out and use those as your prize."

Rei fliched visibly.

"Mi-chan!" Rin exclaimed in horror. "That's so mean! Don't do that!"

"I can't even use words to describe how annoyed I am right now," Miku growled, glaring at Rei. "I will end you."

Len, snapping out of his catatonic state of shock, snorted. "Glad she's telling someone else that for once."

Miku whirled to face him. "Just because I'm not threatening you doesn't mean you get to talk!" she exclaimed angrily. Len bit his lip in an attempt to remain silent.

"Lenny!" Rin complained. "Don't irritate Mi-chan! She's been having a hard time!"

Piko sighed. "There's really no lack of theatrics around Miku."

Miku turned on him now, hands on hips and eye narrowed. "What was that?" she demanded.

Piko smirked. "You're really overly dramatic sometimes."

"And you're just a complete jerk," Miku decided. "I think I'll just be best friends with Rei now. Never mind, I'm mad at him, too. And Len is an ass, too. Do I really have to resort to Neru?"

Rin pouted childishly, grabbing Miku's elbow and staring at her with the largest puppy eyes she had ever seen. "What about me, Mi-chan?" the blond girl asked.

"You're annoying," Miku declared. Rin's pout grew more pronounced.

"Len, did you bring any muffins?" Rin asked her younger sibling with a tone of complete seriousness.

"Muffins?" Len replied. "Of course not. Why would I just carry around muffins?"

"Why  _wouldn't_ you?" Rin exclaimed angrily.

"When did this turn into such a random conversation?" Piko demanded. "I don't think I can take anything seriously at this point."

"It distracted Miku from being angry at me," Rei pointed out quietly.

"Shush! You don't exist! I've already ended you're existence in my mind," Miku told him, holding up a silencing hand. Rei rolled his eyes.

"You're welcome," he muttered. "I should get going before Rui calls me."

Miku couldn't help feeling a bit of pity for the boy at the mention of his bratty little sister. In truth, she was pretty annoyed with him. Kissing her in front of her friends, especially with their relationships pretty stretched at the moment, was just making everything more complicated. Miku rarely saw Kaito looking so put out and Len, even though he was hiding it pretty well, must be feeling irritated as well. Unless confessing the way he did was a joke. In which case, Miku would be forced to murder him.

"What are you, her pet or something?" Miku demanded, against her better judgment. "Why don't you just stay out for a bit longer and have some fun? You guys did mention a movie, right?" Miku looked to Rin for confirmation. The blond girl nodded vigorously.

Rei paused, as if thinking over the offer.

"I'm sure you'd take the opportunity of a dark room to murder me," Rei stated. He had gone back to his previous ways; bland voice, icy stare, and emotionless expression. Maybe he had worn out his emotional capacities for the day.

Miku snorted. "I'm not that clever," she replied. "Besides, I suppose friends don't kill friends."

"Does that mean I'm off the hook?" Len questioned.

"I didn't mention 'frenemies,' Kagamine," Miku retorted, hoping she didn't sound too mean.

Rei sighed. "I never agreed to being friends, Hatsune-san."

"Good luck fighting it," Miku replied. "Come on, you're just dragging this out. Want to go to a movie or not?"

Rei looked on at her silently for a moment, and then seemed to accept his fate. "Alright," he agreed.

"Yay!" Rin exclaimed happily. "Now Miku can come with us after all!"

Miku shook her head in amusement. Rin didn't seem to understand that Rei had been lying about the whole date thing. That girl was so dense.

"Rin," Len sighed. "You're so stupid sometimes."

Rin blinked large, blue eyes at her brother. "What? Why?"

Piko and Miku shared a silent look.

 _She may be older than all of us,_  Miku admitted, _but she certainly doesn't act it._

* * *

 

After deciding Miku was okay, Kaito made his leave. He barely said a handful of words to anyone while at the park, only leaving them with a sentence.

"Until later, guys," he said. Honestly, he had been so quiet that Miku had all but forgotten about him. Why was he there, anyway?

The whole situation with Kaito and Len made her head spin. Kaito, in love with her? Sure, a couple years ago, maybe. Maybe. She wouldn't go as far as to use a word like 'love,' but then again, she hadn't ever been in love. She didn't know how it felt. However, the worst part was that she didn't know how to act around him at all. He wasn't too friendly himself lately, so why should she be? But Miku felt acting rude in return wouldn't fix anything. She loved Kaito as a friend, that was for sure. She wanted to be his friend above all else.

While her feelings for Kaito were very clear to her, Miku didn't quite understand what she felt about Len. She hadn't really had a chance to think about it over the past week. Well, she had. Admittedly, she felt a bit guilty for all-around avoiding the subject of Len's confession. Could it be treated as a typical confession? He said that he was "starting to fall for her," or something like that. So did he actually like her or was he starting to or… What? Miku really wouldn't put it past him to make the whole thing a joke.

But back to the confusions about her own feelings. After pretty much giving up on Piko completely (she wasn't stupid; it was a lost cause), she hadn't really known whether she wanted to like Len at all, let alone if she did or not. Len… was not a good person to fall for. Simply put, he was a jerk. If you wanted to go more in-depth about it, Len was not hesitant to tease. He probably wouldn't apologize for something unless pushed. Although he did have moments of kindness or real human emotion, he was generally a very irritating person. Coupled with his psychotic fans and family (aside from his mother), Miku would probably not be enjoying much of her life with him. She also didn't want a crossdressing boyfriend. Especially not one who was prettier than her. Just plain unacceptable.

So it would definitely be better if she didn't like Len. Therfore, she wouldn't.

But we all know that's not how it works.

Miku's inner monologue ran steadily through the opening credits of the movie they were about to watch. With Rin on one side of her and Rei on the other, Miku didn't have a single arm rest. Damn them. So the soda she had been given was placed between her knees, chilling her legs even through her jeans. She, Piko, and Rei shared a large box of popcorn seated in Rei's lap, while the Kagamines had their own to share. The credits alone lasted about twenty minutes, with three reminders to turn off all cellphones flashing across the screen before the actual movie started.

The seat was uncomfortable. It was cold. Her hair was getting caught underneath her as she sat. The movie was crap. Somehow, though, she managed to enjoy herself. Even when the ending credits ran by, accompanied by loud music she wouldn't normally care for at all, she had to admit she had enjoyed herself.

"That was a cute movie!" Rin exclaimed as Miku dumped her drink into the trash can outside the theater.

"You're insane," Len decided.

"It was horrible," Rei agreed. Miku realized the boy still didn't know who Len was. That would be a fun reaction to see.

"No! It was totally cute! I love the main actor and actress!" Rin argued. "New OTP!"

"You spend too much time online," Len told her. "Normal people have no idea what you're talking about."

Rin stuck her tongue out at him. "Just because you don't understand doesn't mean other people don't," she pointed out. "They were so cute together."

Len rolled his eyes. "You're a sap," he accused.

Rin pouted and latched onto Piko, who blushed. "Don't you agree, Utatane-san?" Rin asked pleadingly. Miku couldn't help but snicker at the look of helplessness on Piko's face, even though it irritated her.

 _Don't go there,_  Miku warned herself.  _You've given up on Piko._

"I-I guess," Piko stammered.

Both Miku and Len sighed. He had no backbone when it came to Rin, they were discovering. She'd better not be doing that stuff on purpose.

Then again, the blond girl was surprisingly dense. No doubt she had no idea about Piko's feelings for her.

"What about Mi-chan? What did you think?" Rin asked, turning innocent blue eyes on the teal-haired teen now.

"Terrible," Miku stated simply. "I loved it."

Rei and Piko eyed her oddly, while Rin looked both very confused and very happy.

"As long as Mi-chan enjoyed herself!" Rin decided, dragging Piko along the icy sidewalks. He was blushing a fiery shade of red now, completely embarrassed and overwhelmed by her attention towards him. Len, Miku, and Rei followed closely behind, Len and Miku sharing a knowing look.

"Where are you leading us?" Miku demanded.

"Good question!" Rin replied cheerily. Miku resisted the urge to smash her face into her palm.

"So you don't know?" Len questioned.

Rin seemed to think about it for a moment. "Nope!" she decided. Len groaned audibly.

"How about somewhere out of the cold?" Rei suggested. He didn't seem too worried about his sister anymore, which was good. He even seemed to be relaxing a bit. Miku had no idea whether he actually had any friends or not, but this was good for him. It was good for her, too. The movie, albeit stupid to a degree Miku didn't know existed, distracted her from the things that had been bugging her for an entire week.

Well, at least she had been able to decide that the movie sucked. Yesterday, even that much would have been impossible.

"Excellent plan!" Rin agreed. "Where to?"

Len sighed. "Idiot. Fine, we're going to go have a late lunch, since you clearly can't think alone today."

Rin delivered her signature pout without fail. "Lenny is so mean," she complained to no one in particular. Miku pitied Len; such an irritating older sister must've been a bother to grow up with.

"It's taken that long to figure out?" Miku asked, receiving a look of overplayed betrayal from Len.

"There's still the question of where to go," Rei reminded them.

"Let's go back to our house!" Rin suggested.

Len looked a bit uncomfortable at that. "Mom might not be up to that," he told his sister. Rin waved away his warning.

"Mom loves visitors! Besides, Uncle took her to a doctor's appointment not too long ago. It'll take at least an hour for her to get back," Rin replied.

"Huh? Since when did this happen?" Len demanded. Rin shrugged.

"Mom texted me while we were at the movie," Rin explained.

"Of course she did," Len muttered. "My sister, the rudest movie-goer ever."

"You really shouldn't answer texts in a movie theater, Kagamine-san," Piko told her. Miku found his expression adorable; as if he felt ashamed for scolding her.

"Boo-hoo. What are they gonna do, confiscate my cellphone?" Rin asked with a pout. "I'm in college! I'm not going to take that from anyone!"

"Rin, you're nineteen. You can't even drink legally yet, thank goodness," Len told her.

 _Because a drunk Rin is what we need in our lives,_ Miku thought.

"So?" Rin demanded.

Len didn't reply; instead, he allowed himself to sigh and gave Miku a look that clearly read  _See what I have to deal with?_  Miku felt herself chuckle at his self-pitying expression.

"Rei-san!" Rin focused her attention on the raven-haired youth, who walked next to Miku on the sidewalk. "You're still here! I thought you might've left by now?"

"Hm? Oh," Rei replied absentmindedly. "I should be getting home soon. Rui must be spitting mad."

"Is Rui your sister?" Rin asked.

"Yeah," Rei answered with an odd expression on his face. He didn't seem to enjoy the topic very much. Of course he didn't. From what Miku had witnessed, Rei and Rui most definitely didn't like each other. Heck, not even in the way siblings are forced to.

"Well, too bad for her! We're going to steal you for the rest of the day!" Rin proclaimed.

Miku resisted a sigh. "Rin-san, you can't-"

"Shush!" Rin ordered the teal-haired teen, holding up a hand for emphasis. "Rei-san doesn't look like he gets out much! So we're going to make sure he has fun."

All four of Rin's companions exchanged worried and confused looks.

"Rin, please tell me you don't mean…" Len trailed off as he saw the look on her face.

"Of course!"

"No! Rin!" Len exclaimed. "Absolutely not!"

"Aw, you're blowing things out of proportions," Rin accused. "Besides, I'm sure we'll be able to eat free if we eat there."

"I hate you."

Rin smirked. "Hate me all you want. But I'll just make you suffer for it."

Len shuddered next to Miku as Rin changed the direction they were walking, turning down a new street populated with a crowd of people.

"Where are we going?" Miku asked suspiciously.

"Hell," Len stated.

"Just a cute little restaurant!" Rin offered her answer with a wink. Miku stomach flipped and she realized this would probably result in chaos. "It's actually just down the street!"

Rin pointed to the shop front. A large sign hung over the door, announcing the existence of the place inside. The name was unimportant, a detail Miku paid no mind to. Together, the group walked through the door Piko held open for them. Len looked at his feet angrily while Miku, Piko, and Rei glanced around. The place seemed normal enough, Miku decided from her place standing before the podium, waiting to be seated. Just another little restaurant. Nothing special.

She realized she was dead wrong when Teto, in all her pink-haired, hyperactive glory tackled her in a hug. She wore a rather… unprofessional waitress uniform. Or was it a maid uniform? Miku had no idea.

"Hatsune-saaaan!" the girl exclaimed, happily.

And Miku knew she wouldn't be eating a normal meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Heads up! It isn't actually a maid cafe. Teto's just weird.


	15. Chapter 15

Teto was quickly pulled away from Miku, much to the girl's relief. But she was left gaping after only a few seconds.

A boy (more of a man, really) stood next to Teto, holding the girl back by her dress. It might've even been likely that he held her an inch or two off the ground. He greatly resembled Kaito, save for his hair and eyes, both a violently bloody shade of crimson. There was an amused smirk plastered on his attractive face, giving him a cocky, confident look. He was very tall; taller than any of them. Rei, who stood at about five foot ten, only reached his nose. Maybe his chin. It was hard to tell.

"Yo, Kasane. Don't go scaring off customers," he advised, letting the girl go. She pouting, crossing her arms.

"Says you," she replied bitingly.

Ignoring the drill-haired girl, the red-haired man turned to the group of teens who had entered his establishment.

"Hey, Kagamines," the guy greeted lazily. "And Kagamine friends." He eyed Miku in a way that she found both uncomfortable and unwanted.

"Hi, Akaito-san!" Rin responded happily. "We want lunch!"

"Straight to the point, I see," the man Rin had called Akaito stated, amusement trickling lightly into his voice.

"That's the point of this place, right? To serve food?" Len grumbled quietly, as if he didn't actually expect any sort of response. His arms were crossed over the lacy blouse he wore, matching the downcast glare on his face.

Akaito raised an eyebrow. "You tell me, Lin-chan." The way he said Len's fake name clearly meant that he was trying to bother the blond boy. Len made a face.

"You'll mess up those pretty features of yours if you do that," Akaito told Len with a wink. Len's face turned red and his eyes sparked as the red-head gestured for them to follow him.

"I'll seat you," he said, leading the group over to a large booth placed in a corner. "I'm sure Teto's going to insist on serving you. Don't worry," Akaito added, noticing the look on Miku's face, "she's actually our best employee. When she doesn't bug me."

"How many other employees do you have?" Miku demanded. Akaito laughed.

"Funny," he told her. "I think we'll get along well." And he left after that.

"What is this place?" Rei asked, glancing around. There weren't many other customers, but everyone seemed very content with the surroundings. Miku couldn't imagine why; having Teto serve her would be a nightmare and it would be no different for those other people.

Rin smiled. "Oh, just some place I used to hang out at with my college friends. Len doesn't like it very much."

"You wouldn't either if you were constantly flirted with and groped by those two idiots," Len muttered, glaring at the table's surface. "Akaito does it just to piss me off."

"So he's the Len to your Miku?" Piko smirked, settling down comfortably next to Rin and Miku. The three sat across from Len and Rei.

"Excellent phrasing," Miku praised as Len rolled his eyes.

"Akaito teases you because it's funny," Rin told her sibling brightly.

"Not to me," Len replied glumly.

At that moment, Teto bounced up to them, pen and notepad in hand to jot down their orders.

"Drinks?" she asked cheerfully.

"Oh! Orange juice!" Rin requested with a spark of excitement in her eyes.

Len sighed at his sister's behavior and gave Teto his order of plain and simple water.

"Water," Miku agreed. Piko echoed her.

"Root beer," Rei told Teto. Miku had begun to notice his liking for sweet things, an odd quality for him.

'Alrighty!" Teto beamed at those seated at the table. "Be right back!" And she too was gone.

"It's calmer than normal," Len stated. "Well, Teto and Akaito are, at least."

"This doesn't seem like a very popular restaurant," Piko said, glancing around to the few customers seated in a very scattered way around the room.

"Nah. They get super busy on weekends. This place is popular with couples, actually!" Rin informed, tapping her delicate fingers against the table's surface. Her smile was near-blinding, bright and sunny, as though not a thing had ever been wrong or ever would be. Miku envied that attitude of Rin's, even if the girl was a bit crazy.

"I'll remember that," Rei raised his eyebrows, questioning the reason Rin had told them this.

"Maybe that's why Akaito bugs you so much! He actually does like you!" Rin exclaimed. Her brain-to-mouth filter seemed constantly broken most of the time. "I bet a job like his would make a person feel lonely. I mean, seeing all those couples come and go every day? I'd hate it!"

Len made a face, wrinkling his nose as if he were disgusted at the thought. "Rin, I will not work to fulfill your yaoi fantasies."

"What's yaoi?" Miku and Piko asked together. Len turned red and glanced away, avoiding the confused gazes of the pair.

"It's-" Rin began.

"We don't need to hear about it, Rin," Rei muttered although Miku was pretty sure he was holding back a grin. "It would make us all a bit uncomfortable."

"But what's wrong with-" Rin continued.

"Shush!" Len demanded. "No talking! Everything you say is weird!"

Miku snorted in agreement. Admittedly, yes, that was true. However, her curiosity would not be stifled. She'd discover what they were discussing later.

Rin pouted. "Cruel," she told Len. "I just wanted to answer the question."

"Answer it when I'm not around," Len replied coldly. "I hear enough about yaoi whenever I go online."

"Subject dropped," Miku declared, sensing a sibling argument arising. Len sighed in relief while Rin continued to pout. Piko eyed her and quickly glanced away with a light dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. He clearly thought her expression was adorable.

Len shot her a grateful look. She gave him a fleeting smile in return despite the remaining tension between them.

They ate the food brought to them with little outside distraction. Actually, most distraction came from Rin and the sibling rivalry between the Kagamines. Eventually, everyone managed to eat their fill and paid the proper amount under the watchful eyes of both Akaito and Teto. The group split after that, Rin and Len heading home while Piko and Miku turned in the general direction of their neighborhood. Rei shot Miku a wry smile when their eyes met, both knowing what fate awaited the boy when he finally returned home.

Piko waved farewell to Miku as she split away from him, walking down her street to her own house. The dark thoughts related to her move had dismissed themselves for the past few hours, hiding in the back of her mind. As soon as her green eyes found the sleek car that belonged to her mother still parked in the driveway, her heart skipped a beat.

 _That's right,_  she realized, fists clenching in silent anger.  _No matter how much I try to run away, I'll always come back to this mess in the end._

Quietly, Miku approached her house as though it may go off like a bomb. She managed to get through the front door without being noticed. However, her luck ended when she reached the stairs, attempting to sneak up to her silent bedroom. Her mother, who carried a heavy look of mild annoyance, stopped her with a sharp look. Miku paused, glancing at the woman with her foot on the first step and her hand on the railing.

"Where have you been?" her mother's tone could have broken a harden soldier. In a sense, that what Miku was. A soldier fighting against the force of her parent.

"With friends," Miku replied. Her sentences around her mother were usually kept as short and concise as possible.

"For five hours?" the woman demanded. Well, as much as an uncaring person can. "Never mind. I hope you didn't expect us to pack for you."

Miku bit her lip, out of both fear and irritation. Words she would live to regret sat on her tongue like clotting blood, foul and ripening by the second.

"Yes, mother," Miku avoided her gaze; a cold, binding poison that refused to release her.

"Good," and with that, the Hatsune mother turned away, back to her task. Even if Miku didn't finish packing, it wouldn't hurt her. They'd end up leaving the things Miku didn't manage to collect.

With a snap of her teeth, an attempt to hold back the floodgate of insults and angry words, Miku climbed the stairs to her room. She didn't notice the boxes in the corner, labeled neatly and packed with clothes and other unneeded artifacts (this was Mikuo's doing, of course) and simply flopped onto her bed in defeat. Even though she had been snapped out of her emotionless state (thanks to Rei), it didn't mean she felt any better. Reality was catching up to her. It made no difference who liked her and who she liked if she wouldn't see them ever again. Two weeks and she'd be gone. Not even, with her mother involved. She gave herself a week at most. Maybe it would be easier just to ignore everybody until she moved. Forget everyone she was leaving behind. It would hurt too much to remember them afterwards.

Not much of a plan, but Miku could try, couldn't she?

* * *

 

On Sunday, Miku avoided all calls and texts. Together, she and Mikuo worked to pack up everything they wouldn't be using in the next week. Her brother became steadily more worried as she turned down meal after meal, waking at four in the morning and finally turning in at one in the morning. School the next day was hell for her; running on three hours of sleep and doing her best to simply get through the day whilst ignoring anyone who attempted to bug her. More and more people were recognizing her as "Kagamine Len's girlfriend" and she just didn't have the energy to correct them or get angry. Who cared, anyway? She'd be gone soon enough, after all.

Teto and Neru bugged her, but Gumi seemed to recognize her distress and called them off more forcefully than usual. Had Rei said something to her? He mentioned the green-haired girl in passing once or twice, giving Miku the idea that they were actually pretty good friends.

She didn't put much thought into it. Settling into her steady routine, she ran between classes and from anyone who tried to bug her.

At the end of the day, Miku was surprised to spot Len at the gate. She hated to do this to him, but avoiding everyone included him. As she approached him, she swore a light appeared in his eyes, and despite the fact that he was dressed as Lin, she felt her heart skip a beat. But she could be imagining things. Of course she was.

His face fell when she walked passed without acknowledging him. Quickly, he turned to follow her, school uniform spinning against his body.

"Yo, Mi-chan. What's up with the face?" he asked teasingly.

"Please bug off, Len," Miku replied.

"Not a chance," he grinned. "Teasing you is far too much fun."

She whipped around to face him, eyes cold. "Listen, Len. I don't think you understand my situation. I'm moving to freaking  _Germany_. As in  _not coming back, never see you again_. So it would really be best for both of us if we just pretended we never met."

Len smirked. "Sure," he agreed sarcastically. "That's exactly what we should do."

Her face hardened; she could feel her eyebrows freeze in their downward slope, a scowl framed on pale features. "Don't you get it? Leaving everyone will be painful. I'd rather get it over with as soon as possible."  _Like tearing away a band aid,_  she added internally.

Len's face lost the smirk instantaneously. "So that's your solution? Ignoring your friends? Miku, we can help you through this. Rin and Piko and maybe even Rei. Just because you're leaving doesn't mean we won't still be friends."

"Listen, cross-dressing freak," she spat, letting anger get the better of her, "I've never relied on anyone else but myself before. No one's ever been able to help me before and that's not going to change now."

Len looked a bit hurt, a look Miku wasn't accustom to. "Yeah, and you've done brilliantly on your own," he retaliated. "Beating the shit out of people really seems to work for you."

Miku felt surprise creep its way onto her face.

"An eye for an eye," Len scowled. "If I'm such a freak, why'd you even put up with me at all?"

"I don't know," Miku growled. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Neither do I," Len replied.

Both turned away simultaneously, walking quickly from a fight that came and went with destructive results. Miku couldn't even follow her own words as they filtered into her mind from her recent memories.

She and Len should never have tried to be friends.


	16. Chapter 16

Miku found ignoring her other friends to be much easier. After her fight with Len, Rin ceased to contact her. Probably the result of a pushy younger brother and not that fault of the blond girl in question. Either way, Rin didn't call or text or show up mysteriously for any reason. Piko had begun to devote more time to Rin and impressing Rin, an accomplishment manifested in the sudden urge to study. He was most absent, though he did text Miku consistently. All were left unanswered. Gumi, Teto, and Neru were far easier to displease. Miku felt no guilt in telling the three girls to bug off, though Teto shot her a pitiful look once or twice.

Rei, however, was not easy to shake. He didn't talk much; his actions spoke louder than his words. Rei would sit silently beside her at lunch, despite her harsh tongue. Rei quietly followed her a few blocks from school before turning in the direction of his own home. The effort he made to simply be there with her was astonishing, honestly. Miku simply ignored him as he went about following her. Neither mentioned it, though.

Even with Rei, whose presence certainly was comforting, though Miku disliked admitting this, she earnestly missed the others. Mainly Len. Definitely Len. She could only imagine how he must feel, though she would rather not. She had gone too far. Nothing would mend that and she wasn't even going to try.

Her mother became a constant shadow in their house, taping boxes and dusting shelves. They had far more things than they needed and many artifacts of the Hatsune household were being given away. Half their books were piled in boxes and driven to a nearby charity. Clothes that no longer fit piled up on the stairs. And while her mother eagerly tore down all evidence that their family had ever been there, their father remained absent. Quite honestly, Miku was completely sure that he now lived with another family; she had heard talk of it late at night while her mother was on the phone. Bitter words about another woman were spat into the air with fierceness Miku hadn't witnessed from her mother in years. It was both reassuring and saddening that she would not see her father again; surely abandonment was better than any other form of present neglect her mother had shown. Though who was to say her father would have even been cruel to her in the first place, let alone neglectful. She remembered the way he has been after her incident in middle school. Unlike her mother, he made Miku feel wanted; a reassuring pat on the head, a tiny smile, an air of fatherly appreciation. Maybe if he hadn't had an affair and wasn't such a workaholic, he might have continued to be a good father.

No use dwelling on what-ifs and maybes. Miku was growing up quickly and understood the reality of things.

Mikuo did his best to help Miku handle their mother. While he wasn't exactly doted upon, their mother certainly held him in higher esteem than she did Miku. No praise was offered, but the siblings saw how their mother's eyes softened when they found Mikuo. She was proud of him, though she never said anything. And why shouldn't she be? He was a near-genius with straight-As and a positive attitude. People seemed naturally drawn to him anyway. Miku appreciated his concern and aid, but the best thing for her would to be to bury her fist in something solid. Preferably her mother.

Her room was packed in record time. She was right about the time; one week. While they wouldn't leave for Germany until Sunday, everything had to be ready beforehand. Who knew what might happen? Their mother's logic reasoned that having everything prepared ahead of time would lower the risk of misplacing something.

On Wednesday, four days before travel to Germany, Miku allowed herself a bit of time to relax. In the kitchen, she fixed herself a sandwich and a cup of warm tea and sat in the living room. The couch was far more comfortable than the chairs in the dining room, anyway. But before she even took her first bite, Mikuo flopped his large, lazy self onto the seat next to her. A glare was aimed at the boy but he ignored it.

"Are you seriously just going to sit there and eat a sandwich?" he asked. "Don't you have friends you want to spend time with? You know, gather memories before the big move?"

Miku snorted. "I don't have many friends at the moment?"

"Lin? Piko?" Mikuo suggested. "Even those three other girls at your school would probably like to offer a proper goodbye."

"Dude, we aren't leaving for a few days. It doesn't matter," Miku told him, swallowing a mouthful of bread, ham, and cheese.

"Avoiding issues is your greatest skill," Mikuo told her sarcastically.

"No one asked you," Miku stated.

"I know something's wrong. You haven't gone a day lately without being dragged out of the house by a friend of yours. Now they've all suddenly stopped coming over. So what's up?" Mikuo continued, ignoring her jab.

"Ever the observant one," Miku rolled her eyes.

"Miku," Mikuo sighed.

"What? It's not like you to be so interested in what I do," Miku said, continuing to take miniscule bites out of her sandwich as she spoke.

"Not verbally interested. I'm always curious as to what my little sister might be up to," Mikuo replied.

"Sure ," Miku agreed unwillingly.

"I'm serious."

"When aren't you?"

"That'd be a better question for you," Mikuo pointed out.

Both Hatsune children were silent for a moment.

"Look, Miku," Mikuo began again, "we both know you have issues with trust. You also have issues with abandonment. Can we just move past both those things and accept the fact that you were just starting to become truly happy again?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Miku stated evasively.

"Oh, come on. You have to admit that moving to Germany is scary as hell for any kid, but with you, it's a whole different story," Mikuo replied. "So what if you're the one leaving? I bet it feels like everyone else is leaving  _you_."

Miku set her jaw on edge, resisting the urge to throw a cold remark back at her brother. Instead, she sat silently, pretending that she couldn't hear him.

"So maybe you're just avoiding everyone in the hopes that you can get over that pain more quickly," Miku suggested, eyes searching her for a reaction.

"That's idiocy," Miku told him coldly.

"Well, now I know I'm right," Mikuo replied. "Calling it idiocy isn't the same a denying it."

Miku stood quickly, gripping her plate in both hands and hurling it to the floor. It shattered on the shiny wood below, shards scattered like rain against a leaf. With her jaw set, Miku turned to the stairs and stomped away. Her mother rushed past to investigate the source of the noise and she heard a gasp.

"Hatsune Miku! Get the hell back in here and clean up this mess!" her mother's voice called.

Just before slamming her bedroom door closed, Miku yelled her own response; "Screw you!" After that, the house remained in eerie silence. Mikuo did not try to talk to her again. But someone else did.

The next day, Thursday, Miku encountered a situation with Gumi. More specifically, a situation where the two were left alone for a little while. The teacher had asked them to collect the papers he had printed off and Miku couldn't exactly say no. He wasn't the sort of teacher to accept that response.

They stood silently by the printer for several seconds after climbing a flight of stairs in the same awkwardly quiet atmosphere. Gumi broke that silence before too long, though her eyes never strayed from the papers being pushed onto the rack, where they lay in the remaining heat from the printer.

"Hatsune-san," she began, causing Miku to jump a bit, "I don't mind that you've decided to ignore us. Quite frankly, it seems long overdue." A sigh Miku hadn't expected to hear released itself from Gumi, her shoulders drooping a bit as if a weight had just been lifted off of her.

"When you move, I hope you can look back on your time with us with some fondness, no matter how little that may be," Gumi shifted her weight, allowing her fingers to mess with her own green hair. Miku watched her with fascination. The two girls didn't speak much, not even around Teto and Neru. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between the two, though; if Teto and Neru stick together to irritate us, maybe we should watch each other's back. You be the judge of how well that worked out.

"I'll miss you, Hatsune-san. I'll stay in contact and I sincerely hope you return again one day," Gumi told her earnestly. She seemed so wholeheartedly truthful that Miku could not muster up any sort of response, snappy retort or otherwise.

Gumi collected the large stack of papers the printer had fed them, handing half to Miku to carry. Before they left the printing room, Gumi turned to face her, clutching the papers to her chest lightly.

"I've never blamed you for the events in middle school and I've never been scared of you," she told Miku directly, eyes meeting her own green pair with an intensity Miku had never seen from the girl. It left Miku speechless as Gumi turned to leave. Quickly, she did her best to snap out of her own trance and follow the green-haired girl.

It wasn't until after school that day that Miku would really start to think about the state of things more deeply. Far more deeply than before, actually.

* * *

 

Miku felt her own body grow steadily more sluggish as the day dragged on. By the final bell, the one dismissing them for the day, Miku could barely move without aching. She didn't understand but hoped a nap would cure this random, strange ailment.

Before she could even leave school grounds, however, she was ambushed by the same gaggle of reporter girls that had bugged her on the day with Rei. They hadn't yet given up, to her surprise. She wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with them and honestly just wanted to sleep. To everyone's surprise, an odd person chose to come to her rescue.

Miku watched as Teto, of all people, waved the group away dismissively. She hadn't paid much attention to the actual exchange, though the group of girls didn't look happy at all.

"You're just a whole hell ton of trouble, Hatsune-san," Teto sighed, rubbing her forehead absentmindedly. She seemed exasperated, an emotion one did not often see from the cheery, hyperactive youth.

"I was aware," Miku snapped. Teto laughed lightheartedly, a reaction Miku could expect.

"As long as you knew," Teto grinned. "Hey, care to join me for a moment?"

"Why?"

Teto shrugged. "No reason, really. My club mates are all sick, so I guess I was just a bit lonely." After saying something like that, Miku couldn't really say no in good conscience. Besides, it was teto. They had never really been friends, anyway.

The two girls walked across the school grounds and back up to the school. Teto led the teal-haired girl to her club room, an unused music room on the top floor. Afternoon sunlight flooded through open windows, cold seeping in through the screen. There were three groups of two desks pushed together at the center of the room. Apart from that and a large musical instrument Miku guess was a bass (too big to be a cello), the room was empty. A chess board had been set up between one set of desks, the pieces lined up in their correct spots.

"You play chess?" Miku asked in a shocked tone.

Teto laughed. "This is chess club, silly." Miku's jaw dropped, though Teto didn't notice. That sounded surprisingly intelligent for Teto, honestly.

"I already made some tea. We have our own water boiler," Teto gestured to the pair of desks closest to the wall, where a water boiler sat. Six cups sat steaming on the surface, the scent of jasmine circulating through the air from the calming drink within.

"It's odd for it to so quiet and calm in here. Usually the other members talk up a storm," Teto told Miku, setting a mug of tea before her and sliding into the seat across from her, shifting the chessboard so Miku could have more elbowroom on the desk's surface. Miku didn't reply. Instead, she slowly took a sip of her own tea, allowing the flavor to seep into her tongue before swallowing with a small trace of satisfaction.

"Is it too cold?" Teto asked. "I can close the window."

Miku shook her head lightly. It was strange to see such hospitality from Teto, who pretty consistently acted like a maniac no matter what.

"Oh. Alright," Teto replied before falling into silence. The drill-haired girl tapped her fingertips lightly on her mug, eyes searching the contents as though they held the answers to life's mysteries.

"It's so calm," Teto repeated in a very absentminded way. If Miku didn't know better, she'd say the girl looked lonely.

"Calm? With us around?" Miku snorted. "Oh, the horror."

Teto snickered lightly. "That in and of itself is pretty damn weird."

Miku allowed herself the tiniest smile and sipped her tea again.

"Hatsune-san," Teto began. Miku glanced up at the girl curiously. "I know we weren't actually very good friends, but I'll miss you all the same."

 _I'll miss you._  Three words that echoed with familiarity. Gumi had said them as well in such a tone of seriousness that Miku had never heard. Now Teto was mirroring that phrase down to every little detail.

"It's been so much fun," Teto sounded almost strained, a smile of fond bitterness on her face. "Even if you never had any fun, which I'm pretty sure you didn't, I hope we can stay in contact. And I hope we can keep some pleasant memories."

Teto's eyes dropped. The emotion in her eyes was clear, no matter how hard she fought it. Loneliness. Teto  _was_  lonely, a development no one could have ever guessed.

And once again, Miku was left speechless.

* * *

 

After both Teto and Gumi approached her to deliver their own farewells, Miku highly expected Neru to do the same. If the blond girl had done so, she didn't think she'd be able to keep from crying. The sight of the ever-happy Teto so sad and alone had done a number on here; kind words from a person such as Neru would've sent her to a place of no return.

But the blond girl did no such thing. On the contrary, she expressed the opposite of those warm and fuzzy feelings Gumi and Teto had been going for.

Miku found herself cornered by Neru on that Friday at lunch. Miku had visited the bathroom to quietly wash the stress-filled tears from her eyes before Neru had walked in and spotted her. Instead of offering a semi-friendly hello, Miku earned a punch in the face as soon as she turned around. Holding her nose, Miku shot Neru the fiercest glare she could manage.

"Thanks for breaking my cousin's heart," Neru told her with a form of blandness only ever heard in Rei's voice. "I really appreciate that."

"Fuck off," Miku snapped. "I'd rather not kill anyone today."

Neru drew closer to her until she was pushed up against the sink behind her. The blond may have been short but the murderous look in her eyes gave Miku reason to pause for a moment. Those golden eyes were inches from her own and deadly, spitting fire Miku could feel.

"I don't care how tough you think you are," Neru hissed quietly and roughly, grabbing a fistful of Miku's shirt and dragging her ever closer. "If you mess with my Len and leave him like that without fixing it, I'll bust your face in."

"I'll take that threat as seriously as any other I've ever gotten," Miku replied coldly, using her height advantage to look as intimidating as possible. It didn't work on Neru.

"Oh, you'd better take me seriously," Neru spat. "And I sincerely hope you're ready to face an over-protective Rin, because God help you if aren't."

With that, the blond spun on her heels and left the bathroom and Miku behind. The teal teen glanced down at her own shirt and did her best to smooth the wrinkles. Hopefully the teachers wouldn't notice.

* * *

 

Of course, that final confrontation was the thing that really set her off. If Len was, as Neru said, heartbroken, it was completely her fault. Maybe she had taken the wrong course of action after all. She had been wrong countless times before. It seemed her mistakes simply continued to pile up, the lessons left unlearned in the end. It was silly, really; sixteen years of her life spent making the same mistakes and raising the same problems. It made her feel like a child again, waiting to be scolded by a parent for doing something they knew to be wrong. After all that time making the mistakes and ignoring the fact that they needed to be fixed, maybe she should try the latter instead.

She had to do a bit of research to find Len's school. After all, her memory of the name was less than reliable. She had only the uniform to go off of and the fact that it was a private school. She found it by the time school let out on Friday, though she herself ditched that last half hour of her classes in order to find the school by the time Len was actually let out. She waited by the gate as students began to pour out of the huge, richly-built building. Her eyes searched the crowd, looking for Len's familiar head of blond hair. Instead, she spotted Yukari's large mop of purple hair. She did not doubt that Len would be with her.

Quickly, she hid behind the nearest object; a large oak tree with no leaves and a thick trunk. Len would probably run at the first site of her and it was better safe than sorry. She could hear their voices now. Without a second thought, she leapt from behind the tree to see the three teens she had expected not ten feet away. All three caught site of her as she walked steadily and confidently up to Len. Her face held pure determination though her legs felt weak and her heart pounded harshly against her ribs.

"Kagine Lin, Kagamine Len, whoever the hell I should address you as at the moment," she began in a loud, authoritative voice, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for fighting with you."

Len blinked. He had frozen the moment he saw her, eyes wide and maybe even a bit frightened. Aria and Yukari watched the exchange with interest and patience.

"I'm sorry for trying to brush you off and I'm sorry that we don't get along as well as we should. I'm sorry that I'm leaving, too, but that's not really in my control," Miku did her best to hold his gaze, though the heat of her face was steadily growing as she attempted to speak. "I love being friends with you."

Len blinked in surprise. His feet seemed to control themselves as he took one step forward and another and another before hurling himself at Miku. Both parties returned the hug the other offered, tightly wrapping their arms around each other. Len's slightly taller height allowed Miku to set her chin on her shoulder comfortably, the knowledge that she was actually hugging a boy, let alone Len, rivaling the appearance of it all. Len still looked like a girl, was still dressed as Lin, and was still around his classmates, some of whom seemed very interested in their little scene. All the same, Miku managed to pull out of their tight hug long enough to kiss him lightly on the lips. In front of everyone. Without a single hint of embarrassment.

It was surprisingly comfortable, almost familiar. When the allowed themselves to pull apart, both teens were blushing, faces still close. Normally, Miku would wait weeks to kiss someone; hell, it took her and Kaito two months to work up to kissing. But with Len, everything suddenly felt normal and simple. She even felt that she owed him that kiss for being nothing less than a total bitch. Besides, she had liked that kiss. She had liked it a lot.

"I really like you, too," Miku smiled, arms still around his shoulders. Who the hell cared if it looked like she had been kissing a girl? They knew the truth. The opinions of others mattered far less than she had ever realized.

"I hope so," Len replied. "Unless you happen to kiss everyone as an apology. In that case, I'm not sure I forgive you yet." His playful smile assured her that he was kidding. And Miku was happy.

Miku was really happy.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Yoshida is the last name I use for Mayu in all my stories. So yes, the Mayu mentioned in this chapter is in fact the Vocaloid.

But the fact that she was happy changed nothing. Actually, it seemed coming to Len's school was a horrible, horrible idea. There were demons lurking there that Miku could never guess at. One demon in particular.

Yoshida Mayu. Age sixteen, blond, caramel eyes, and a liking for rabbits. Those were not the things one primarily noticed about Mayu, however. Her wheelchair was a much more obvious feature. She knew that's what people saw when they looked at her; not the lovely young girl with bright eyes and a smile unrivaled by many, but the thing that marked as different. The thing that marked her as broken.

Her legs had been damaged severely in middle school after an accident her last year there. One of her legs had been broken; the other had been destroyed. Both the result of a heavy desk smashing down on her. Even if her legs had fared better, walking would have been near impossible with a broken spine, a result of being thrown against a windowsill and landing at a very awkward angle. Those odds had been stacked against her, no matter how hard any doctor tried.

It was her own fault, anyway. Though she regretted the mistakes leading up to the incident, she wouldn't get the use of her legs back. Mayu saw it as her punishment for the sin committed in middle school. Others might pity her, but she saw no reason for such pity. She pitied the one who had ruined her body and she hoped that the person who had done it never felt the need to do something like that again.

Of course, when she saw that person again on Friday after school, she was at a loss for a reaction. Mayu had never expected to see the girl again, let alone come face to face with her. There they were, though. Not ten feet away. The girl had but to turn her face thirty degrees to the left and spot Mayu. What would happen after that was anyone's guess.

When that situation arose, Mayu was not surprised.

In the middle of talking very quietly and personally to the blond girl she was entangled with, Hatsune Miku glanced over and froze. In that moment, there was no one but them; two girls, two former enemies, once again faced with the other. And neither could deny the fear they felt when their eyes met.

The blond girl Hatsune was with noticed her distress, pulling her face back around to her own. Mayu recognized the girl, though could not put a name to her face. Honestly, she looked like Kagamine Len's twin or something. Not that Mayu cared enough about the idol to know exactly what he looked like, but it was near impossible to get online and not see something relating to the idol. So of course Mayu knew what he looked like.

"What's wrong, Mi-chan?" the blond asked, a serious expression on her face. Mayu could see Miku's face at an angle now, not directly, but she knew that the look on her pretty features clearly read terror. Quite honestly, Mayu felt the same. Though she really couldn't believe Miku would be scared. After all, Hatsune Miku was the toughest, strongest girl she had ever encountered. Why would she still be afraid of Mayu after so long?

"It's nothing," the teal-haired teen replied in a whisper, though no one was fooled. Her eyes were a bit unfocused, staring off to the side where Mayu stood.

"Tell me what's wrong," the blond repeated, forcing her to look back at her by placing both hands on the sides of her face. It was a delicate, loving gesture, though Miku wanted no part of it.

"I'm fine," Miku said a bit more forcefully, though her voice still trembled. "I-" she stopped herself from continuing, shaking her head loosely. "Nothing, It's nothing," she echoed herself quietly.

 _This is so wrong,_  Mayu thought as she continued to watch this scene.  _I thought Hatsune Miku would be fine by now. It's been years. Besides, she left us pretty beaten down. She has no reason to be afraid of me anymore. For God's sake, I'm in a wheelchair!_  Mayu wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or flattered that someone still found her terrifying in her current state.

But Mayu was no longer cruel. Mayu knew her pride was pretty much damaged beyond repair. Not only that, but Mayu felt as though she deserved what Hatsune had done. Granted, she didn't like being stuck in a wheelchair, but sometimes no amount of repentance could fix a mistake. If Hatsune, who had been a strangely quiet and peaceful girl during the time Mayu knew her, had been driven to such extremes, then she surely was at fault here.

The blond stared down at Hatsune with a look of intense observation on her face. Quietly, she forced the teal haired teen to look back at her with a single finger on her chin.

"It's never just nothing with you, Mi-chan," she stated. Hatsune glanced away, off to the side. Her gaze found Mayu's again, both quietly stuck in the same moment from the past.

Mayu didn't want to remember those things she connected with Miku. She just couldn't. But some things should be addressed directly and Mayu had spent years avoiding the issue. Hell, she moved across the city to avoid it, changing schools and making damn sure none of her old classmates would be there with her. That's what shame will do to a person, she supposed. Mayu was done with shame. Mayu wanted nothing more than to let the memory of Hatsune Miku rest comfortably. Now was her chance.

With a tremor in her breath and a determined, stony look on her delicate features, Mayu wheeled herself forward, past the two girls the blond seemed to be accompanied by and right up to Miku. The girl hadn't gotten much taller, but Mayu had to look up at her all the same. She had to look up to everyone nowadays. Yet another punishment for looking down on them before.

The blond's face shifted expressions, twisting to confusion. Hatsune's grip on her companion tightened visibly. Mayu felt her own hands clenched around her wheels, skin whitening on her knuckles.

"Hatsune Miku," Mayu breathed her voice rough to her own ears. Those listening in heard soft birdsong, a sweet melody worthy of gods playing just under earshot. Miku's eyes showed clear emotions; fear and pity and regret. The lack of hate nearly froze Mayu. She had pictured this meeting happening but it was nothing like those nightmares she had envisioned. All the things she had prepared for were obviously not going to occur and she didn't know how to react.

"Mayu," Hatsune's voice was just as soft as hers.

She didn't know what else to say. What could someone say in this situation?

Swallowing a poisonous ball of doubt, Mayu did her best to hold those green eyes with her own. "I-" she began, losing the words she had been placing so carefully in her head. There were only two words that could cover everything she wanted to say, so she stuck to those.

"I'm sorry."

Those simple words could never effectively communicate what Mayu really wanted to tell the girl. They were too overused, too cliché and simple. No two words, or ten or even a thousand, could help Mayu dig herself out of the pit she had managed to fall in years ago.

Miku's eyes blinked once, evenly and slowly. When she opened her mouth, Mayu didn't expect to hear what she said in reply.

"Me, too."

Both girls were damaged. Nothing could change that. Nothing could fix that completely. But maybe finally sewing up those wounds would do both some good.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> So I have no idea what it's like to be in a relationship. Quite frankly, I've never been interested in getting a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, I guess. IDK really). So if I'm not writing this well, blame it on lack of experience. I've always thought of Miku as someone who would act a bit overly affectionate in a relationship, so that's what I was going for.
> 
> Author's Note 7/11/2013:  
> Pft. I thought I might be straight. Hahaha.

Miku was astonished to see Yoshida Mayu of all people on Len's campus. One glance at the girl nearly sent her into shock. A second glance and a realization sent her into a spiral of shame. Miku never thought the wheelchair would be a long term thing. But here they were, years later. The sight made Miku sick.  _She_  had done that. What kind of monster could do that?

Apparently, whatever kind of monster Miku was.

After exchanging those two simple sentences, Miku didn't know what to do. They both remained silent, eyes locked as Len, Yukari, and Aria stared between them. Other people who had witnessed Miku and Len's earlier interaction watched intently as though they were viewing the latest episode of a TV show. Quite honestly, Miku wondered if her life would make a good sitcom. Everything that could go wrong seemed to. Not to mention the romantic troubles. Who knew love triangles actually existed?

Len's hand silently found hers, offering wordless support as Mayu continued to hold her gaze. The girl was visibly distressed, though held onto that well. No one Miku knew was actually very good at controlling their emotions.

"Peace, then?" Mayu offered the suggestion lightly. Miku wanted to instantly jump on the idea but letting go of what happened what far easier said than done. How could you just simply forgive years of physical and mental torment? Then again, Mayu was willing to forgive her actions.

With a hint of hesitation, Miku allowed herself a nod. "Yeah. Peace." Her own hand extended, seconds later clasped by Mayu's and shaken once. A decisive move. Mayu's skin was soft and warm, though Miku should feel the tremor in her arm.

"Goodbye, then," Mayu said, releasing her hand. What else was left to say? Though they had made up, the two would never be friends. With a history like theirs, how could they? Leaving it at that was pretty much as close to perfect as they would ever get.

Miku turned to Len as Mayu left, her head bent to rest her forehead on his shoulder. There was a moment of silence before Len spoke up.

"Need to go home?" he asked.

"Your house," Miku replied. "It's been a tough day."

Len nodded, glancing to Yuzuki and Aria. "I'll text you guys later."

The girls agreed, Aria shooting him a bright grin that foretold much teasing in the future. There was a joke among the three that Len would never get a girlfriend due to his lack of interest in an actual relationship. Even if he did, it would look weird for him to act affectionate with her in public.

"You'd better," Yuzuki threatened lightly as the group parted ways. Len forced Miku to raise her head, keep their hands linked gently as he led her off the campus. It was almost amusing how many odd looks were sent their way. Who cared if everyone saw two girls? They knew the truth and they were comfortable with it, though Miku would really rather have Len dress as a boy.

"You're acting so strange," Len told her. "Not that I mind. After all, you did just kiss me, which was damn unexpected."

"Thanks. I try," Miku drawled. "Strange circumstances result in me acting strange."

"It seems that any circumstances involving you end up strange," Len said.

"This is coming from the cross-dressing super idol," Miku replied, smirking. She allowed herself to shift a bit closer to Len as they walked, enjoying the heat shared between the two. It suddenly seemed okay to be close to him, as though no one would question it. Especially not Len. All the same, Miku felt his confused gaze on her, choosing to ignore it. After all, affection wasn't something Len was used to receiving from Miku.

"You really have had a tough day," Len decided. Miku nodded, letting them slip into a natural, content silence.

* * *

 

The pair arrived on the doorstep of Len's large house about ten minutes later. Rin's bicycle was thrown across the front steps, orange tire rims catching the light brightly and shining directly into Miku's eyes.

Len unlocked the door, calling out his entrance to the building. "I'm going to go check on Mom," Len told Miku. "I'm sure Rin's dying to see you. She should be in her room studying. Remember where it is?"

"Yeah," Miku replied. Len split off from her, up to his mother's room. With a sigh, Miku kicked off her shoes and piled her winter clothes into the front closet. Her hair clung to her uniform with static and her cheeks still burned red from the cold outside. The heat of the house was a welcome blessing.

With some amount of trepidation, Miku climbed the stairs to find Rin. She couldn't imagine the reaction she was going to get from the girl. Had Len told her about their argument? Miku couldn't imagine it, but Rin could turn into some sort of crazy mama bear (although Len was her brother, not her son) and chew her out for acting like a complete bitch. There was no other word for her, really. But maybe Len hadn't said anything. Miku still had cause to be a bit twitchy. It was Rin, after all. She and Teto had something in common; neither understood personal space. Miku liked her personal space.

Of course, the blond girl's first reaction was a tackle-hug that made Miku's knees weak.

"Hello, Mi-chan! I'm glad you came to visit!" she squealed. Rin's face brightened considerably, whether because seeing Miku cheered her up or because she had a distraction from studying, Miku couldn't tell. Probably a bit of both.

"It's good to see you again, Rin," Miku told her as she awkwardly returned the hug. Miku wasn't much of a hugger on her best day. Somehow, though, she felt Rin deserved a hug after naïvely putting up with Miku for a while now.

"I was studying!" Rin informed Miku when she finally released her, picking up the desk chair she had knocked over in her excitement.

"I can see that," Miku said.

"I'm pre-med!" the blond girl announced proudly. Miku's eyes scanned the large textbooks piled atop one another, flinching at the idea of lugging them around a college campus between classes.

"That's right," Miku replied. "I forgot." She couldn't imagine Rin having the stamina or the patience to attempt a degree in medicine, but maybe Miku didn't know Rin as well as she thought.

"It's hell but it's fun, too," Rin exclaimed, straightening her papers under the watchful eye of Miku. "That sentence pretty much sums up my school experience."

"Yeah," Miku agreed.

"How long do you plan on staying?" Rin asked turning large, pleading eyes on Miku. The teal-haired teen could see the hope in those eyes, begging her to stay and keep the Kagamines company.

Miku shrugged. "I don't know. A while, probably."

Rin's face broke into a grin. "Great! You should stay for dinner!" All at once, Miku felt the older girl's hand in hers and was being pulled toward the door. "Let's play a game!" A yelp of protest was all Miku could manage before she was dragged downstairs.


	19. Chapter 19

Rin had accomplished the amazing task of roping Len into their game. And so the pair found themselves at the mercy of the older girl as she tossed a deck of Uno cards at them with a command to shuffle. With a smile, Rin flounced out of the room. To do what was anyone's guess.

Miku and Len exchanged fond, amused smirks and did as the girl had told them, albeit with an undertone of annoyance. Miku left the shuffling bit up to Len, since it was one of her way less evolved skills, and allowed them a moment of silence. It might have been awkward at first, but by the time Rin returned with a bowl of potato chips and a blanket for herself, they had become quite comfortable just sitting together. Miku would never admit aloud that she preferred silently watching Len than actually talking. Then again, they always seemed to argue when they started talking, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to remain quiet.

Miku shook her head of the thoughts plaguing her mind. She felt a mite bit obsessive, which was strange, she supposed. In her past relationships (well, relationship. No one had come before or after Kaito) she had become a bit of an attached girlfriend, i.e. sticking close to her boyfriend and obsessively watching him whenever she could. It was as though being with Len finally gave her permission to do these things. Now that she could, she didn't care who noticed. Well, she did, but those people weren't around at the moment, so it didn't matter.

"Alright! Let's do this!" Rin exclaimed as she finished rearranging her cards. Miku glanced down at her own hand, the colors mixed and disorganized. Some people chose some order for their cards. Quite frankly, Miku had never been good at card games so whether she organized her hand or not didn't matter much.

Miku proved her ineptitude at this game, winning two times out of the fourteen rounds they played. Len didn't do much better, managing three times. Rin was pretty good. Possibly because her inner child was more outer than inner.

After that game, Rin forced them to continue this pattern with various others. Go Fish, chess, and Sorry followed, with Miku and Len failing considerably horribly. Rin just giggled at their stricken faces and their growing annoyance as they continued.

At around five, Len, Miku, and Rin all went to the kitchen, as Len refused to make dinner alone.

"If you're too lazy to do a few damn dishes, then you can starve," Len forcefully told his older sister. Before she could open her mouth and protest, he added, "Without complaining."

Rin tightened her lips, a look that turned into a pout. All the same, she stood and followed her brother to the kitchen, where the sink was piled with dishes and the stove sat with dirty pans on the burners. Miku heard both siblings sigh heavily at the sight.

"Well. This is what happens when we get takeout," Len bit his lip, eyeing the containers on the counter. Some were from a Chinese place nearby, with bit of dry and crusty-looking rice still clinging to the bottom. A pizza box sat at the bottom of the mess, sauce clinging to the edges. It was really quite horrible. Miku couldn't imagine why they'd let their kitchen get this way.

"It won't be too hard to clean up," Rin shrugged.

"You're the one who was going to leave me to do it all alone," Len reminded her. "Whatever. Rin can do the dishes, I'll start on the counters, and it would be extremely helpful if you could sweep, Miku."

The teal-haired teen thought that was well within her skill set and agreed.

It was a good thing it didn't take too long. Both Miku and Len could hear Rin's stomach protesting her lack of a meal and Miku's own was beginning to ache with hunger. Had she even eaten lunch that day? It was hard to remember.

"Alright!" Rin exclaimed happily as she pulled her rubber gloves off and rubbed her hands together. "We're done! What's for dinner?"

"Give me a moment to take in the sight of a clean kitchen," Len instructed. "I was thinking something easy. Probably just macaroni and cheese. I don't feel like thinking."

"You think?" Miku asked scathingly. Len shot her a look of exasperation but let the comment slide otherwise.

"I'm okay with that!" Rin told him, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting down dramatically, lifting her legs and rested them on the chair next to her. Len shared a look with Miku, clearly communicating how lazy he thought his sister was.

"I'll start making it, then," Len sighed and dried the pot he needed. "Go join the ever-useless one," he told Miku, smirking at the glare he received from Rin.

Miku nodded and pulled out a chair next to Rin, who was staring at her hands rather intently as she wove her fingers together. It was something Miku could see her doing quite often, so she assumed the blond wasn't just avoiding eye contact with her.

Rin pulled into some sort of conversation after a little bit, resulting in confusion and a moment of pure hysterics when Rin's comments became a bit too much to bear. Len glanced into the dining room at that moment (all he had to do was poke his head over the counter) to see Miku in a fit of extreme giggles with her forehead against the table's surface. With a roll of his eyes, he went back to the meal at hand.

After a rather entertaining dinner consisting of macaroni, then a lazy desert of fruit salad and a pudding cup each, Miku decided it would be best to head home now. She hadn't informed Mikuo as to where she had been for the past few hours and there was little doubt that he would be worried and possibly annoyed. After all, she still had those final few things to pack up.

"I need to get home now," she told the two blond Kagamines. "It's been fun hanging out over here."

"Yep!" Rin agreed. "Come back as soon as you can!" She said this with the widest grin Miku had ever encountered. It made her feel sour and pained, knowing that they would have precious few moments left to share like those of that day.

"Will do," she replied with a small smile of her own. Rin hugged her briefly then turned to pelt up to her room.

"But now I've got to study again!" were her departing words. Miku snorted at the girl then turned to Len.

"Bye," she told him.

"Text me?" he requested.

"Of course," she said, smirking. "Enjoy those quiet moments, though. I'll be blowing up your phone with texts sometime soon."

Len grinned and offered her a hug. This one was closer than Rin's, more comforting. When they pulled apart, Len chose to kiss her forehead using his few extra inches to his advantage.

"I'll see you." The simple phrase sounded more like a question than anything else. Miku didn't know if she could answer with a steady voice.

"Yeah," she said, whisper quiet. "Yeah, of course."

Len smiled softly, scuffed up her hair (there was a fair amount of protest at this action, though Miku felt the fondness and caring behind it), and let her out into the cold evening air.

The walk was chilly and mildly unpleasant, fraught with peril in the form of hidden ice patches and annoyed drivers who were in a hurry to get home for dinner. Miku wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and pulled her hat a bit lower, eyesight slightly disturbed by this. Her breath clouded the air with a frosty mist that caught against her reddening cheeks, chilling her to the bone. She was relieved when the journey was over, if not only for a few moments.

Upon opening the door with shaking hands, Miku was faced with a familiar sight. Her mother stood, arms crossed, a look of mild anger overruled by a cold stare that fixed itself on Miku. Her brain had spare few seconds to guess what might be going on in the woman's mind before she spoke.

"Where were you?"


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Now, a bit about Miku's mother - I never intended to give her a name. I find it's a bit easier to sympathize with characters who have names. While a bit of her perspective is explained in this chapter, I don't want people to sympathize with her. Maybe just understand her a bit more. Anyway, I don't think I'll ever give her a name unless I get sick of typing "her mother" or "Miku's mother." Now, then. I think I'm done.

"I'll repeat again," her mother said, a fierce look burning to life in her cold eyes, "where the  _hell_  were you?"

Miku found herself unable to speak at the absolute rage she saw dancing just below the surface, covered in a thin sheet of hard ice that served as her mother shield. She hadn't seen much emotion directed towards her in the past. At least, not from her mother. What had brought this on?

"Just at a friend's house," she explained quickly voice rough with fear.

"What gave you the idea that you could just disappear?" the woman demanded. "No texts, no calls, nothing. You could have been dead!"

 _Like you would've cared much,_  Miku thought icily. Instead, she said, "But I was fine."

The look on her mother's face twisted into annoyance. "That's no excuse."

 _What the hell had brought this on?_  Miku wondered, staring fixedly at the woman who so resembled her yet was so incredibly different it was nearly frightening.

"What gives you the right to suddenly act like my mother?" Miku demanded coldly. The stiffening of her mother's shoulders told her that this was quite the wrong thing to say. Miku didn't really care anymore. This stunt was taking it too far.

"I  _am_  your mother," she snapped in reply.

"I'm sorry, really? Because I might have forgotten after those last few years of neglect!" Miku spat in return. Her entire body was trembling and fear fought against her naturally snappish side internally. Despite these things, Miku held her mother's gaze steadily in her own, daring her to speak.

"You say that as though it's my fault," the woman brushed off the retort mildly. Miku wasn't going to let that fly.

"Oh, it's definitely your fault," Miku replied, voice harsh and loud. "What you did was pitiful. I'm supposed to be able to depend on you. Instead, you might as well have been dead for all the attention I got. Why the hell is that okay now?"

"What  _you_  did was pitiful!" her mother exclaimed angrily, raising her voice significantly. "It was horrifying and cruel! You're lucky I convinced your father not to kick you out! It's probably what ruined our marriage in the first place!"

That was new. She had never heard about this.

"Then why try?" Miku shouted. "If I've been such a burden and a horror, why try?"

"Because you're my daughter!" she erupted. "Just because you're difficult and violent and uncontrollable doesn't mean we aren't family in the end. I thought that even though I could never look you in the eye, at least you wouldn't go hungry! At least you wouldn't freeze to death!"

"I was  _starving_  for affection! I've been left on my own for years! You pushed the duty of both mother and father onto Mikuo! If you won't accept the fact that you've been unfair to me, accept that he's never deserved that!" Miku shot back. She had yet to pull her winter clothes off and was beginning to boil under her various layers. Snow fell from her boots and melted on the floor below. She didn't even care. Leave the mess and let it stew. This problem had been on the burner far too long.

"Mikuo could be trusted!" her mother retorted. "You couldn't!"

Miku kicked off her shoes and stomped past, her school bag clutched close to her chest.

"You should've left me on the streets years ago," she spat. "At least then Mikuo might not be failing school."

With that, she stormed up the stairs and slammed the door hard. With her brain in a fit of rage, she turned to her room, where the only thing not packed up was a sleeping bag that lay across her bed. Everything else was stacked in boxes that had been shoved in a corner as far away from Miku as she could get them. They were as bad as the plague. A symbol of everything Miku despised.

She couldn't see the light at the end of this tunnel.

She was pretty sure there wasn't one.

* * *

 

Miku fell asleep on top of her bed with her feet on her pillow and her head on her book. It was cold, as she hadn't managed to pull her sleeping bag over her at any point last night. Her skin was covered in goose bumps and felt cold to the touch.

With a shiver, Miku glanced over to her clock. It was nearly twelve thirty in the afternoon. This alone let her decide whether or not to get up.

Stretching lazily, she stood and smoothed down her wild hair as best she could. There wasn't much hope, but you couldn't blame a girl for trying.

Her head ached and she vaguely remembered crying a few times last night. Whether out of frustration or sadness, she didn't know. It was probably both. She glanced down with tried eyes and realized she had fallen asleep in her school uniform. In that same moment, she realized that yesterday had been her last day of school. The last time she would wear her uniform. And suddenly she never wanted to take it off.

What was left to do, really? Her room was packed. The plane tickets had been bought a while ago. She couldn't fight it anymore, not internally and not externally. She was tired and worn. Sometimes you needed to know when to just sit back and accept something or you'd drive yourself crazy. That was where Miku was at now. She knew there was nothing to do to stop this.

She didn't even know very much German. It was funny to think her mother was fluent in it. She had never bothered teaching her kids. An entire language she would come to understand. That could be interesting, she supposed.

Miku was never very good at looking on the bright side.

 _Even if I make new friends and manage to get a nice life in Germany, this heartache will take a while to get used to,_  she determined. Her chest pounded silently and painfully, protesting her imminent departure. It hurt so much. She couldn't do anything to stop it. No bandage or medicine could help her.

She was hurting. And she was alone. Like she had been for years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> To those who may be interested, I will be writing a very short sequel to this. While the primary pairing will be PikoxRin, our other characters will show up. Just keep this in mind when I end this story. And don't be mad. It ends happily in the sequel.
> 
> ...That was kind of a spoiler.
> 
> Whatever. Just wanted to tell everyone a bit about it without giving away the whole plot.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Super short chapter. It didn't even reach 1,000 words, which I'm a bit annoyed about. But I thought it might be a nice intermission.

Miku had never been alone. While this is what she thought, she had always had one person by her side, no matter what.

Mikuo could remember every detail of his younger sister's life past her second birthday. He had watched her grow and mature and turn into a completely different person. An unrecognizable person. His adorable, sweet sister was now bitter and cold. He could remember her before this happened. He remembered her standing up for Piko, who had been small and an easy target for bullies. He remembered her offering him her ice cream when his fell from her cone. As a child, Hatsune Miku had been the epitome of innocence and virtue. As long as you were on her good side. Even as a young girl, she had been a bit rowdy. Sometimes she'd hurt people without meaning to. A good example was Piko. Sometimes she'd tug on his hair a bit too hard while teasing and leave him in tears. There were a few times when she dragged him along, hand in hand, and he ended up with skinned knees because he couldn't keep up. She had never really recognized her own strength. That was her problem as a child.

As a teenager, her problem was that she knew all too well about her strength, Mikuo decided. It was what consistently got her in trouble. It was the thing that had lowered her self-esteem so much.

That was another problem. While she did have low self-esteem, she somehow thought she was better than everyone else, as well. It was strange and Mikuo couldn't quite understand it, but it was true. After years of living alone with her, he had come to understand this internal struggle of hers. Sometimes, he felt like he knew her far better than she knew herself.

So Miku had never been alone. Not really. She had always had her older brother by her side, even though she never knew. While Miku struggled on, Mikuo had done his best to help quietly, near silently. It was probably the reason he was failing his senior year.

Mikuo had done a lot of things she would never know about. He had convinced Gumi, who was actually some sort of distant cousin, to look out for her during high school. Even with her crippling shyness, she had somehow managed. Mikuo made sure she was never hungry. He made sure she had money to buy herself clothes. He made sure she did her homework. Even the basic things made a difference. Honestly, he was a bit too wrapped up in her life, but he didn't mind.

While he never liked that the duty of parent had been pushed on him, he never complained. He loved his sister. She had spent a long time without help from anyone. He wanted to make sure she would be okay. Without her, he would be alone, too.

His friends sometimes asked him why he was so obsessed with his sister. Few people understood. There was one girl in particular that understood all too well, as she had a similar situation with her younger brother. Through that, they bonded. Someday, Mikuo thought he might like to date her. But not yet. Especially not since they were moving.

In the end, Miku was almost his entire life. She probably would never realize how much she owed him.

He preferred to keep it that way.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> This is the last chapter. The. Very. Last. I'm pretty unhappy with this chapter, but oh well. I can fix it later. I just wanted to get it posted.
> 
> I've left a bit of info about the sequel at the end of this chapter. It'll be easier to skip down there if you aren't interested. I'd also like to add that I know nothing about airports. I had to ask my friend about things like security and such. Ironically enough, she was at the airport at the time. Anyway, I'm not sure what's right and what's wrong, so be nice about it.
> 
> Anyway, here we go!

Miku spent her last day with Len and Rin. Piko invited himself along at some point and Neru showed up, dragging Gumi and Rei with her. Teto could make it, as she had to babysit her younger cousin. Somehow, it turned into a movie-watching party, with all seven of them crammed into the Kagamines living room. Neru had brought along candies and chips, although they did have a fully stocked kitchen. Popcorn was popped and empty soda cans gathered on the coffee table as they continued to open one after another. Miku found herself with two boxes of Pocky and no hands to spare. Len teasingly asked in a whisper if she wanted to play the Pocky game. In response, she flicked him in the head.

Honestly, it was all very nice, especially for an unplanned event. It seemed that they all just happened to converge and do this. No one was complaining. Actually, everyone seemed quite content to make this last memory together, even if they weren't the best of friends.

And then it was time to go. Miku knew that tomorrow, she'd be hopping on a plane to Germany and they wouldn't seem each other for a while.

Piko walked Miku home for the last time. They shared one last hug and Miku turned to go inside. He was left in the cold darkness of an ever-fading winter with a feeling of loss and pain welling in his chest.

Miku snuggled into her bed one last time, replaying the day. Teto calling in the middle of an action scene to tell her goodbye while her cousin yelled in the background. The call had left her in tears, giggling into her hand throughout the remainder of the movie. What had been so funny? She couldn't even remember now.

Neru had given her a small going-away present. It was a phone charm, which was so like her. It was a tiny light green butterfly and Miku actually quite liked it. After fighting a losing battle trying to get it on her phone, Neru had done it for her with a smirk.

It was hard to leave when the time came. Neru and Rin insisted on piling the rest of the snacks on her as she left. Three boxes of Pocky, a bag of chips, two sodas, a bag of skittles, and half a liter of Dr. Pepper. Not that she minded. They didn't have much food left back at her house, so maybe she'd share with Mikuo and find some cereal or something to keep them running.

Miku had one suitcase with clothes and a small carry-on bag for the plane. She didn't know if anyone would come to the airport to say goodbye, but she sort of doubted it. She had had her little departure party with pretty much everyone who might, so she figured no one would show up.

Miku awoke the next morning continuing to think this. She was a bit wrong.

Arriving at the airport an hour before they needed to, they managed to get through security in about ten minutes. Considering it was the weekend, Miku thought this was good time. Then again, she had never really been to the airport, so she didn't really know. Usually, she thought, it was a lot busier. Now they had time to spare. Maybe her mother thought it would take longer to get through security. The woman was currently reading a book across from Miku in one of the rather uncomfortable chairs, the title of which Miku could see. With a sigh, Miku glanced up at Mikuo, who was saying goodbye to a girl just a ways away. She was pretty and just a bit taller than Miku. Clearly older, too. It was obvious they were interested in each other. Why else would she come to an airport that was a thirty minute drive from their part of town? It was cute, though. Mikuo seemed pretty happy about it.

Miku rubbed her eyes sleepily. It was early, for a weekend. Already nine, by her phone's clock. It was just beginning to lighten up outside. Stupid winter sunlight.

Before she could attempt a short nap (because, really, what else was there to do?), Miku caught sight of a small gathering crowd just beyond. Whispers were spreading through the group, low and intense, excitement coursing through their ranks. What could that be about?

Miku got her answer soon enough.

"It's Kagamine Len!" an excited shriek informed most of the people at the airport as it rang out, clear and happy above all other noise. Miku's eyes widened and she leapt up, trying to catch sight of that ever-so-familiar blond hair in the crowd. She couldn't, but soon enough the blond boy himself had cleared security, leaving behind a majority of the crowd as they were held back behind the metal detectors.

"What are you doing?" she immediately demanded as he approached, crossing her arms and glaring. By this point, her mother and brother had their attention redirected at her. The blond girl with Mikuo looked surprised and a bit excited as well.

Miku was not comfortable. She was now the center of attention of not only thirty plus different people, but also her mother, whose green eyes focused on her from above her book. Her expression was impossible to read, so Miku chose to ignore her and focus on Len. Who was being stupid. Again.

"Saying goodbye to my girlfriend," Len smiled warmly, if not somewhat coyly, back at her.

"What made you think it would be a good idea to show up looking like  _that?_ " she asked in a hiss. Len laughed lightly and offered her both his hands. Hesitantly, with an air of confusion, she slowly uncrossed her arms and took his hands in hers.

"I wanted to say goodbye to you dressed in the way you prefer," Len replied. "Isn't it worth the crowd to see me this way?"

"You're so egotistical," Miku muttered as her face turned pink. "Yeah, I guess it's nice. But everyone's looking."

"Then they know that I'm already taken," Len told her with a smile. "Seriously. I'm sick of people asking me when I'm going to start going out with one of the famous girls. No one's ever suspected that I want a 'normal' girlfriend." Miku could hear the quotation marks in his voice and just couldn't get offended by being called normal. After all, they both knew neither of them was perfectly normal. Was anyone, really?

"I'm glad," Miku told him.

"About what?" Len asked. "That's a pretty unspecific way of putting it."

"That you're here. That you still want me to be your girlfriend." The next few words were unspoken but both heard them clearly.  _I'm glad you still want me even though I'm moving so far away._

"You're so silly," Len told her. "I thought I was the stupid one." The twinkle in his eye showed that he was teasing. "You're worth a bit of a wait."

"How do you know I'll be back?" Miku demanded. Len rolled his eyes.

"Of course you'll be back. I doubt Germany will be as amazing as me," Len replied. "Nah, everything you love is here. I think you'll be back."

Miku couldn't help smiling back at him. "Of course I'll be back," Miku grinned as she pulled Len into a tight hug, completely forgetting the spectators, who had a mixture of feeling among them. Some wanted to cheer, some felt jealous of this barely-known teal-haired girl in Kagamine Len's arms. All of them, all of his fans gathered just twenty feet away, found themselves transfixed by the transactions between the two teens.

"I'll always be back," she added on a whim. Len would never let her forget saying that. She'd be embarrassed by this in years to come. But neither knew this. In that moment, they were two teens who liked each other more than anyone else could guess. No thoughts of the future or how they fit together in that future fueled any internal struggles. They just were. They felt the warm comfort shared between them in that single instant, that shining moment in time.

It was a memory that would help both of them get through the following few years. And when they finally saw each other face to face again, which they inevitably would, it was a memory that would help them feed the flames between them.

Because long distance relationships are hard. But for them, being alone, without the other, would now be infinitely harder.

And now, despite everything, Miku was once again happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> Okay. The sequel. It takes place three years in the future. Most of our cast has now graduated and a few are in college. I've got the summary, background/foreground pairings, and some of the first chapter figured out. A few things left off in this story are explained in the sequel, like how Kaito's doing. I plan on making it about five (?) chapters, but It could be more or less, depending on where I see the story going. If anyone wants to see the summary, I can post it on this chapter later or send it to them through a PM or something. I don't know.
> 
> Well, everything's done now. Thanks to all those who've followed, favorited, and/or reviewed. I never expected anyone to care much about this silly, little story, but I appreciate everyone's encouragement. It was great for someone so new to fanfiction to receive feedback on their story.
> 
> Until we encounter each other again, have a fantastic life!


End file.
